Keeper of the Cheerios

giant model airplane

2009-05-11T00:51:00.001-04:00

2009-05-03T20:08:00.001-04:00

I need to figure out a way to have more me time-very hard with kids & cfs dh
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2009-05-03T20:06:00.001-04:00

Was a nice day except being in a car for 6 hours with 2 neurodiverse kids yelling all the way
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Bring awareness!

2009-05-03T11:34:00.001-04:00

read www.nurturedmother.ca/me.php

Too busy for words! Literally

2009-05-03T02:44:00.001-04:00

Well just cause it's getting warmer doesn't mean I get to slow down LOL... the gathering of wood still continues for next winter, to be ahead of the game.but it is nice that we have not had to have fires going constantly for over a week or so now. I think I light one 2 days ago, just to take off the dampness from a MAJOR rain storm. We've been collecting wood here and there, but we need to work on the trailer to get it fixed. we came home from the city today feeling own because we had no way to gather all the huge pile of pallet wood from the back of the home depot store, because the van was full of groceries, freecycle and garage sale finds.I'm hoping we can make it a priority to get the trailer fixed in the next two weeks, before our next trip back there.

I'm happy that today we found a hospital table for the bed for hubby when he's to tired and sick to get out of bed, for only $10. The secret to deals at a yard sale, is be nice, and chatty, go late, with small cash, offer them a price that is about 40 percent off of what they wanted for it, or gather a bunch of stuff and say. will you take ... and they usualy are happy to not have to drag it back into the house again. we also got 4 stools for the house and workshop for sitting at workbenches or the kitchen counter for Dh when he wants to help, for only 5 bucks.

The weather has been very spring, and I think i need to bring out the lawn mower tomorrow and cut the grass for the first time, it is getting LONG!

As well we are cleaning the yard, clearning off the fence of dad grape vine ( and making vine wreaths out of it to sell), getting the workshop orgnized, planning the garden to grow vegetables so we can have fresh free food all summer, and can for the winter. this year we are taking on eight 4 by 4 foot square foot gardens section, and having two foot walking paths between them. we hope to over time make it a nice walkway with pebbly stone, but that will require many family fun trips to the beach LOL, and bringin home a few pails at a time :)

We are also gathering sticks, and wood for a waddle fence alone the side of the house, and bricks and stone for fix the front retaining wall for the flower beds, as well as gathering materials for some other garden projects, including windows for a greenhouse off the back of the workshop.

I've been also looking into a passive solar heating panel system we can build to heat the workshop through the winter from the sun. we are plannning to gathering he supplies needed. testing the plan, and if it works, adapting it to work on the workshop as well as the house.

Also after finding a fixed $100 a month for hydro before I even turn on a light switch we are working on ways to suppliment our hydro with wind, since it is WINDY here, so windy in fact the province is trying to get wind power stations put here in our area and he old farts all with one foot in the grave are all complaining about it. " it will lower our propery value, and is bad for your health ..waa waaa"

Anywya... it's a busy crazy season right now.. all while I brain storm and work to see if I can find a way to make some extra money to help pay some bills.we are barley scraping by, and property taxes are coming up again in June.

like I said.. too busy for words.

Sad.. sooooo sad...

2009-04-17T17:35:00.002-04:00

The driver in this story is my first cousin. We grew up together, he is like a little brother to me.

He has two broken arms, a broken leg, and they operated for over 5 hours to put in pins and plates and set the breaks. he is physically ok. Emotionally he'll never be the same. The lone driver of the other vehicle is his best friend and was to be the Best man at their wedding in this coming august. He was not physically hurt much at all. bumps and bruises. but emotionally as well a basket case.

Life is short folks...cherish it....don't screw around.

Woman dies in collision

Fri. Apr 17 - 9:01 AM
MARBLE MOUNTAIN — One person is dead after a head-on crash in Cape Breton early Thursday morning.

Paramedics and emergency crews received reports of the two-vehicle collision in the Marble Mountain, Inverness County, region at 7:20 a.m., said Krista Beck, spokeswoman for Emergency Health Services.

Christina Louise Crant, 26, died at the scene. The vehicle she was travelling in crossed the centre line and collided with a pickup, an RCMP news release said.

Her 29-year-old fiance had been the driver of the car, RCMP Sgt. Brian Rehill said.

The man had been trapped inside when emergency crews arrived. He was airlifted to the Queen Elizabeth II Health Sciences Centre in Halifax with serious injuries, Sgt. Rehill said.

There was no update on his condition later in the day.

Another man, the driver and lone occupant of the truck, was taken to the Strait Richmond Hospital by ambulance.

Police did not know the extent of the man's injuries. He is believed to be in his 30s, RCMP said.

The victims are all from the River Denys area, Sgt. Rehill said.

Neither alcohol nor weather is believed to be a factor in the crash.

"Roads were dry at the time, so the matter's under investigation," Sgt. Rehill said. "We're trying to figure out what happened here."

One Word Wednesday

2009-04-15T22:10:00.001-04:00

SUNSHINE!!!!!

About Me- According To My Children

2009-04-12T20:16:00.001-04:00

About Me...according to my kid

Ask your child the following questions and write down their answers exactly how they answer. It's fun to see what they come up with! the trick is you HAVE to write what they say.. if you chose to do it, you can't stop... I dare ya :P

According to my 8 year old daughter

1. What is something I always say to you?
uhhh...i don't know...sometimes you say I love you

2. What makes me happy?
uhhh....when I draw you flowers?

3. What makes me sad?
unnn....i don't know

4. How do I make you laugh?
uhhh..by farting ( crap I didn't want to do this interview, i KNEW she'd say that)

5. What do you think I was like as a child?
hmmm-pretty

6. How old am I?
40 un no, not 40..unnn 34 ( she's right)

7. How tall am I?
ummmmm4 foot 11 i think ( she's right)

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
ummmm..hmmmm....i think your favorite thing to do is singing and playing guitar

9. What do I do when you're not around?
uhhh... cuddle with daddy

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
ummm....singing and playing guitar

11. What am I really good at?
ummm....hmmmmm....i really think that your good at recording stuff on your computer that is music

12. What am I not really good at?
ummm...i don't know ( good answer)

13. What is my job?
being a mommy, or my mommmy

14. What is my favorite food?
i don;t know...maybe it's everything..lol ( that's her laugh out loud not mine)

15. What makes you proud of me?
when you give me big big big hugs

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
ummm...super mommy?

17. What do you and I do together?
we paint sometimes, draw pictures, and sometimes you teach me the guitar

18. How are we the same?
we are both girls

19. How are you and I different?
ummm...you're older then me

20. How do you know that I love you?
umm you give me kisses and hugs good night.

*************************
According to my 4 year old son

1. What is something I always say to you?
ummm..uhhh..i'm gonna fink....knock knock...i don't know

2. What makes me happy?
ummm..making a sandwich

3. What makes me sad?
ummm running around in the house and stores

4. How do I make you laugh?
ummm..by saying farts

5. What do you think I was like as a child?
i don't know

6. How old am I?
i don't know...mommy...how old are you now?

7. How tall am I?
write how tall you are so I can see and then I'll tell you

8. What is my favorite thing to do?
umm clean up the house

9. What do I do when you're not around?
ummm talk to daddy

10. If I become famous, what will it be for?
ummm....i'm finking....(long pause giggling on the floor finking)....umm say "what makes you happy again..."

11. What am I really good at?
cleaning the house

12. What am I not really good at?
you weren't good at feeding horizon...( he says with a pause after thinking for a few minutes) he wants me to erase that cause I laughed and went ohh man.. last week i accidentally killed one of our budgies by forgetting to fill the food dish for some consecutive busy days :(

13. What is my job?
ummm. your job is cleaning the house

14. What is my favorite food?
ummmm...i know what your favorite food is...chicken and potatoes and, and.......cheesecake

15. What makes you proud of me?
ummm cleaning the house for me

16. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
ummmm....in my world you'd be super girl

17. What do you and I do together?
ummmmmmmmmmm.feed the birdies

18. How are we the same?
wearing clothes

19. How are you and I different?
you are wearing a white shirt and black pants, and I am wearing red jammies with chinkmunks on them

20. How do you know that I love you?
for getting us this house ( he means he knows that I love him cause we got this house to live in and he loves it here)

Someone else's trash...

2009-04-10T22:51:00.001-04:00

With the warmer weather coming finally I am able to be in the workshop, that is minimally heated, and start setting it up for the purposes we have intended.

Over the last few days I've moved the stuff in the corner intended for the craft & sewing area, and started putting in the large furniture. But today my 8 year old daughter and I went out and got the majority of it done. Now over the next little while, we'll be sorting the boxes and boxes of materials, setting up the painting and drawing areas for the kids, filing the papers we have of magazine articles of craft ideas, "junk-booking" materials, and organizing the decoupage-jewelry making, and other assorted areas for all the different things we like to do & try.

we measured the space we decided to allot, and will eventually build walls around & the craft sewing area takes up the equivalent of a 10 by 14 room at the moment, with the plans to build UP, and make a lofty area above for storage and other crafts that could be done up there.

the amazing thing I realized moving it all around and such, is that every piece of furniture in the area is either a junk pile find, a hand me down from friends and neighbors, a side road "free take me" find, or a freecycle item.

The filing cabinet is from my old high school's Science Lab my dad got me when they were tearing it down to build the new school back in 1998ish & I'm building organization filing shelves for the kids crafting with papers etc to the left you can't see in the picture right now with ketchup boxes from the local grocery stores, MEGA bargain sale...LOL...works good for that.

I'll take better pics late when it is all done. the paintings were here when we moved. we stuck them on nails that were already in the walls..lol

Gut Instinct or Obsessing?

2009-04-08T20:17:00.002-04:00

I feel very strongly that a medical professional thinks I'm a hypochondriac because I am aware of my own body, and I consider symptoms to usually be a sign of something going on that needs to be looked at and when they show up, I'll go to this peron and say.. this is what's happening...i'm concerned it looks like...let's check it out. Now to clarify, I have not done this excessively, and I am NOT a person to run to a medical professional for every single little thing. What has precipitated this additude from this peron is that I made requests in the past year for specific tests to rule out specific stuff. The one test I did get done came from the ER doctor ordering it due to the issue I presented with, but my family practitioner never followe up. I asked my family practitioner for a referral to a neurologist and for MONTHS the referral never came... & was apparently "lost" & only done once I pushed for it...MANY MONTHS later, asking why it was taking so long.There is a family history of an issue that concerned me, and with vague information from my mother, I was trying to inquire as to the issue. given the ongoing symptoms I've had and what this looked like when you add up all the separate things I've been diagnosed with over the last 4 years. Now it is almost a full year later since the first request and things show to be normal based on head only cat scan and EEG I had done, though I'm still have the dizzy spells, walking balance issues, sore neck, headaches, numb patches on my back, and tinglness on my back, along with chronic and worsening lower back and hip pain. etc. This seems to be as far as it is bein taken with this professional....and for some time now I've had an issue getting them to even document my hip and lower back pain in writing. at the last 3 appointments ( in the span of maybe 6 months) I've But saying. I have this tingly patch on my back, my hip hurts a lot, and it never gets written down, and then was told that that kind of thing can't be xrayed t check until it has been an official complaint for over 6 months, though I've been mentioning it for years. Anyway...this professional has also recently held my annual PAP test results from me on purpose for 5 months until it was time to do a retest to make sure things are fine & because the test came back with abnormalities. I feel manipulated & like I can't trust this professional & also feel like in future they won't take my concerns serious given that they have a bias in that direction against me. This professional admitted to me today that the results were held back from me on purpose because they "knew you would spend the whole 6 months fretting".

I'm feeling sick about it, and I can't let it go, but I'm not sure I should be letting it go...my gut tells me otherwise. Others say I'm obsessing. At this point I'm really not feeling comfortabel gong back to them about the ongoing pain, and seemingly nerve issues in my neck and back/spine. Dh and I have decided to go around this person and go to a clinic and see a differetn doctor and explain the situation and see if perhaps they'll order the tests, or will refer me to a specialist to look deeper into the issues, I'm having.<SIGH>

2009-04-08T03:46:00.001-04:00

After all that my boy fell alseep on my bed & looked @me smiled& said i wove u mommy :) I cried!!
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Is there a last straw?

2009-04-07T20:59:00.001-04:00

do I sigh....keep it in and keep plugging away? Should I climb to the top of a mountain and scream
until I can no longer hear, and no longer have a voice? or just sit here on the floor in the kitchen crying as I wipe up the apple raspberry sauce my 4 year old just spilled all ALLLLL over the floor. No I can't sit here crying... I have too much stuff todo, and it never ends. I'm painfully reminded that becaue I was catching up on dishes and cutting wood for the terribly cold day it is today, that I have not been doing the laundry and I have a dry load to fold. two loads to dry and way too many loads yet to wash...

I look at the clock wonering when bedtime is? the melatonin should hvae kick in by now, but he's now tettering upside down on the rocking chair on his head balancing. I wonder if I have the energy and paitence to parent at this very moment, or should I just crawl under the covers in a fetl postion and seek mothering myself.

Where does the drive come from... the will to keep going. the patience needed to politely ask what the 1 millionth time you hear "mommyyy" in that shrill, high squeal pitch, knowing, JUST knowing that you're about to hear about the injustice done to one by the other.

and as I blog this to prevent myself from slipping into that insanity i HOPE all mothers some days feel. I'm interrupted by the DH telling me that he wants to TV to watcha movie with the girl.. and so.... I have to stop what I'm writing...
will I get back to this later.. not likely.. and it shall remain unfinished. like everything else on my to do list.

long silence...soo busy these days

2009-03-30T22:54:00.001-04:00

Each of us has characteristics we define as 'good' and those we define as 'bad.' The parts of ourselves that we continually reject want to be acknowledged and loved. Until we honour these aspects, they will continue to assert themselves. They will do whatever they can to get our attention.

What aspects of yourself do you reject?

Take a few moments to open to the parts of yourself that you do not love. See each one honestly for what it is. Explore the wounds and the motives that gave rise to its condition. Love a wounded part of yourself and it will heal.

I've been trying to do some deeper evaluation of myself these days and see why I am the way I am.. I mean I KNOW why I am the way I am to an extent. We can call it nature...the brain chemistry I've been given is not anything I can deny, change, or get rid of, but I can learn to live with it better.

Struggling with Auditory Processing Disorder and ADHD is not easy.. but to try to explain the depths that it affects my life and the lives of the people who I live with is almost impossible. People do not think ADHD and go, oh wow, ADHD impairs you enough to cause you to be on a disability pension?!

umm yes it does.

The dealing with Auditory processing dysfunction on top of that makes things REALLY REALLY HARD, and until recently I never really realized just HOW much it impares me. I was not aware just how much i hide my inability to hear people when there is background noise, too many voices in the room, etc. I didn't realize that it impaired my judgment on being able to understand people with thick accents. I never realized just how much mental power it takes in a day for me to process everything I hear and have to try and filter out. I didn't realize how half the arguments I have with my husband or children, are due to me not hearing properly what i being said, making an assumption, and basing my next statement or decision on THAT info, and it being a total and complete miscommunication that leads to upset people, hurt feelings, and MAJOR frustration on every one's part.

I hate that I make SO many mistakes all the time. that I lose stuff, forget things, burn dinner misread the directions and get us lost, mis calculate the numbers and screw up the banking etc etc. I've spent so much time in my life trying to hide my shortcomings from everyone else for fear of big ridiculed for them, AND for being emotionally beaten down in my younger years for being "day dreamy" scatterbained and cumbsy, that I will deny until I am blue in the face such an incident even if the evidence is right there for all the world to see. and then I just look insane, like a liar.

Studying Buddhism for the last 8ish years has lead me down a path of finding out who I really am, it has given me the strength I needed thus far... but there is such a long journey still ahead of me. I try to make it about the journey and not the destination, but it is never easy to stay mindful of such things al the time.The road is sometimes VERY bumpy and the hills are VERY high to climb...some days I'm too tired to keep going.

I've been trying to work on actually finding out WHAT I want in life... not this is not some kind of midlife crisis.. I've always been evaluating this, but I'm trying to prioritise what is important, what NEEDS to be done and what doesn't etc.

What is it that my subconscious seeks so badly that i will do emotionally dysfunctional things to achieve, almost regardless of the cost.. I'm still analysing....What do i want to do...what do I LIKE to do, what do i LOVE to do, not just what am i capable of doing, because honestly.. I'm probably capable of pretty much doing just about anything I have interests in. So what do i like to do, what gives me and my family pleasure, and what can I let go.... since I like to do so many thing sand have yet till a list of things I want to do and try that I have no time for.

So far this is what I know.

I am a people person.

I have the "gift to gab"

I can sing, and VERY good at it, and enjoy doing so. it brings me peace internally, but I'm terrified to sing in public anymore since I stopped drinking.

I like photography I like painting, and I've figured out what kind of photography I like to do, so I'm leaving the other kinds behind.

I'm very inventive & creative about re purposing stuff

I'm poor at organization

I'm physically clumsy

I'm poor at internal time telling

I hardly ever finish ANYTHING I start and I want to change that, I want to feel like I can accomplish something, be proud of myself for a FINISHED job. I feel the need to

I get very deeply upset when I make mistakes and disappoint people. I don't like people around me to be sad or unhappy.

I get very upset when people don't take time to know me and then make assumptions about my life.

I want to be recognized for the things I do that I am good at.. on an overall scale.. I'm not talking personally by people in my house necessarily because the recognition is there. I'm talking about on a larger scale. I don't mean I need or want to be worldwide famous, but I'd like some recognition for my creativity and hard work, and good ideas, and have them bring my family some financial Independence and capabilities...

ohh .. I'd write more.. but i'm tired, and my brain is feeling like mush and tomorrow is grocery day

RedNeck SwingSet

2009-03-13T22:47:00.001-04:00

who needs a $400 wooden swing set from Toys R US!! ( well I wouldn;t turn it down if someone offered it to us, but... when you can't afford it, you do what you have to...)

$1 worth of rope hanging around the workshop, two pieces of two by four for free from wood pallets we acquired, a couple holes drilled in the wood to string the rope through.. tied to the sturdy pre existing structure on the side of the work shop=happy kids.

the kids played outside for about 3 hours today.. they came in with their faces all rosey red :)

It's nice to have a back yard, but I'm still a little worried about 4 yo son being out there, as he follows his big sister around the house and our sidewalk is close to the road.. which you would think on a back country road, should not be an issue, but some local idiots lie to drive by the house doing about 40 over the limit :( think I might get some nails for the road and have my tea on the front step and wait for them to turn the corner! we need to get the fence built. in the sections that are not done.

ADD strikes again :P

2009-03-10T14:55:00.001-04:00

So very often with ADD, I think to do something and then so many things between when I thought of it and when I get it done distract me, that it is lucky that I get it done even at all!

here's a silly event that happaned last night.. I'm cutting and pasting from my facebook status wall and comments to show...my poor hubby really does have a good sense of humor about it all thank goodness :)

and because some people asked me I thought I'd clarify that No, in fact I do not mind that he calls me ADDGirl :)

My Status:

Ril never remembers to have a cup of tea.. but I just saw Rose Marie is having one, so I'm gonna go make a cup. 11:29pm

Comments

Carolyn at 11:11am March 10

ACK! I can't live without tea, lol. Hope you enjoyed it!

MamaRil

at 1:19pm March 10

Lol took me 5 hours to make it-then forgot it while changing the sheets& it was only luke warm by the time i remembered it again-half the cup is cold on my bedside table-lol-i'll try again today!

Dear Hubby at 2:29pm March 10

*FACEPALM*

11pm:
Her:Do you want a cup of tea, dear?
Me: Umm, sure. Yeah, I guess, that sounds good.
Her - disappears into kitchen.

4am:
Her: So,do you want Earl Grey or this Peach stuff?
Me: WTF?

MamRil at 2:48pm March 10

LOL ADDgirl strikes again :P

Now I'm gonna post this and go to make a cup of tea....lets see how long it takes me to get it today :)

family fun day!

2009-03-09T04:04:00.001-04:00

We went curling today at our local club for a free intro to curling day... the kids LOVED it...we're thinking of going back the next free day, and possibly seeing if we can scrounge up the funds for a seasons next year... it's $450.00 for a whole seasn, adn that is a LOT of money!!! but we really do love curling, the sport, to watch.. and after today...we really love the idea of trying it for a season as an activity. a good way for the kids to get out their energy.

No it's not icecream

2009-03-03T02:13:00.001-05:00

Chocolate chip cookie dough. I made a double batch when making
cookies, cause hubby likes to indulge while I make the cookies.

Homeschooling before supper

2009-03-03T02:10:00.001-05:00

Hubby and the children decided to do some chemistry/science tonight
making crystals, while I made a science experiment of cooking dinner.
I snuck the picture, he doesn't like having his picture taken, and
he'll be upset that I did, but I don;t care...he is a good daddy &
that needs to be documented :)

Manic Monday

2009-03-02T17:37:00.006-05:00

Well it seems....one can hope....maybe things around here will level out a bit now... my cyclical shift in hormones is weaning and therefore making me less scatterbrained and less umm...bitchy again.. according to the people around me anyway.. :P

Unfortunately with hormone fluctuations, it seems n matter how well the Concerta is working for me, I become a complete bumbling idiot at this time. it drives me nuts, because it affects me on so many levels, and I end up going around in circles like I have one foot nailed to the floor. I hate that it means that I spend my time catching up, and falling behind every month... I really need to get a handle on this, as the management of it right now if not effective. Suppressing my menses with a birth control pill, as my family practitioner suggested, has not been effective at ALL thus far.

So today meant the start of catching up on the stuff I always fall behind on during my cyclical trip to ADDworld for a week to 10 days.thankfully, when my mom & dad were passing through on the way home, my mom ( also ADD) whirled through my kitchen and cleaned it up for me, so I've been trying to stay on top of what she did, and not let it get too bad, so it has not been too bad.

I'm still feeling a bit sctterbrained, my attention span is pretty low... but I'm trying to push through.

Today I got up, feed the kids ( homemade waffles and icecream) They were totally impressed that mom gave them ice cream for breakfast, but hey.. I figure, it is dairy, and they'll eat it, and has no more sugar then a box of fruit loops with milk anyway, or pouring over half a bottle of syrup on them... and the coolmom points I gained for that maybe help offset how crabby I've been this last 2 weeks. After the icecream breakfast the boy required bathing because he was covered in icecream and he hates being sticky.one of his sensory issues, among others.

I went out and got a yard cart full of wood. made a fire. did a sink full of dishes,folded laundry, put more in washer, & switched some over to dryer.

Then I cut out pictures of clothes from the weekly ads for clothing stores. My daughter who is 8, never puts her clothes away when I give them to her, and her dresser is EMPTY, with her clean clothes all over her room getting mixed up with her dirty stuff. She's a visual learner,and get overwhelmed easily by stuff she thinks is too complicated or require multi steps to finish, so I asked if some pictures on the drawers would help and she said yes, so we sat together and cut out socks and underwear, sweaters, shirts, pj's and pants and dresses pictures and stuck them on her dresser with clear packing tape. Quick and dirty, but she was happy, and now she can see what goes where...4yo son wants the same done for him stuff. more cool mom points.

Then I went upstairs with my fixed computer to set it back up. Hubby finally looked at it last night after supper when I asked him to if I brought him everything he needed. I had alreayd had the power supply unscrewed and case open, and the power supply from the kids PC un hooked and ready to go inot mine. As suspected, the power supply had died for some unknown reason, but Dh was not up to looking at it since I had done that over 2 weeks ago. As I cannot edit any of my pictures or write anything without my computer, I was getting antsy, and I think did pretty good at not being pushy ( read crqabby and bossy) at him to look at it. it was not easy for him to do, but he did it, thankfully...( he got paid later in trade :P)

My computer is upstairs in the office, but no networking wires have been run yet, so I'll have to put stuff on a thumb drive and bring it down here to the laptop in order to upload anything to the internet, but at least I can work again. I need to get working on the websites.

Anyway, I got the computer hooked back up, and my desk moved a little more over to where I wanted it, unpacked 5 boxes, and made a few phone calls needed to be made about acquiring some real fire wood...yes already CUT & Split! I'm working on getting that in the next week...for the rest of our cold weather, and to help us get a head start on next year's cold season.

Then I fed hubby a late lunch, which required him reminding me he had not eaten to remember...concerta takes away my appitite, and when I'm not hungry I don't think of food, so I literally need a schedule or it is not even on my radar. He was complaining he was cold at his computer...our bedroom is on the main floor, and with some well placed fans and a good fire we can usually get it up to a decent 19 to 22 degress C in there, but for some odd reason the front door on the house blew open last night with minus -18 degress outside and was open for about 10 to 15 minutes before we really noticed...( because we were sitting right BY the fire) I kept saying to DH " why am I feeling such a cold draft all of a sudden?") The door somehow popped open, and was sitting WIDE open, letting out all the hot air , and our bedroom has been unable to get above 14 degrees C since last night. I was worried about our budgies getting a chill, as they are right near the way through the bedroom to the front door of the house, and the breeze was blowing through there, but they seem fine, thankfully.

I decided to do something about the issue, and hang the fan up high in the doorway as we'd been talking about for a while now.

Well being the ADDer I am...the tools I needed to hang the fan, were missing...still are in fact. this kind of thing, drive hubby NUTS, and in order to not go insane watching me, he had to just walk away and leave me to it, because I had to look for a drill bit and hookeyes etc. I searched and looked around and cannot find the drill bits, but my ADD saved the day, because I went to the workshop to get the ladder, and got sidetracked off searching through other stuff, and found a better option to hanging the fan that would not require the cuphooks and drillbit! :) I ended up finding a different option, and went on the mission to hang the fan by our bedroom entrance ( no door yet) to let the hotter air that rises go into our room. It took me over 2 hours to find the stuff I needed with that little side jaunt in the workshop, and getting the ladder, putting in the hooks, and getting the fan up there.. but I got it up there...hubby snapped a picture from his phone.

Super ADD Girl to the rescue :)

the black wire in the picture is a temperature sensor from a thermometer DH's father bought him for christmas, that has come in quite useful, as it tells us the temp up high where I hung it around the corner, and then also down low on his bedside table where the middle of our room basically is.

I had to go get another yard cart of wood, and make another fire, but it has now been an hour since I hung the fan and the bedroom is now gone from 14 to 17 degrees.. with the fan hanging blowing air that is at about 24 degrees into the room. Hopefully in another hour or so with keeping up with the fire , the bedroom should be back up to a decent temp.

now that I took all this time to write this I need to go make supper.. which I actually planned in advance ( a bit) so hopefully it won't take too long.

Latest Portraits

2009-02-25T22:12:00.003-05:00

My hubby did a photo session with me and the kids.. he refuses to get behind the camera.. typical photographer...here are some pictures.. but he wants me to warn... theya re low res, and therefore may seem not sharp.. not a aproduct of his skilz... my upload choice :P

My hubby did a photo session with me and the kids.. he refuses to get behind the camera.. typical photographer...here are some pictures.

One Word Wednesday

2009-02-25T21:58:00.001-05:00

Where are you right now? Living
Are you bored? no
What day is today? hump
Are you happy? yes
Do you have a lot of friends? no
Are you close with them? yes
Who do you tell everything to? DH
Is that person your best friend? yes
Does your best friend call you their best friend? yes
Does your best friend have other best friends? no
Do you ever fight with your best friend? YES
Does your best friend know everything about you? yes
Do you know everything about your best friend? maybe?
Are your friends jealous of your best friend?dunno
Do you miss being a kid? NO
Who was the last person to call you? propane
Who was the last person to text you? Hubby
Who was the last person to comment on your latest facebook status? none
Do you have twitter? YES
Who was the last person to @ msg you on twitter? toomanyhats
Which do you like better facebook or twitter? equal
Do you have any tattoos? no
Do you have any piercings? yes
Do you have any regrets? lots
What are you wearing?black
What was the last movie you watched? uggg
Who was the last person to email you? the Universe
Is that person a close friend? ok
Who was the last person you talked to? son
What did you say? bed!
Do you wish you were somewhere else?nope
Are you a nice person? depends
Do people like you? maybe
Have you ever been out of the country? USA
Where would you like to go?everywhere
What song are you listening to? asshole
Are you getting bored of this survey? yep
What's your favorite thing to eat? food

One Word Wednesday

2009-02-18T12:05:00.002-05:00

NOISY!

Day Trip.

2009-02-17T23:18:00.000-05:00

I had an appointment with my Dr for my ADD in the city, so we took the opportunity to stop a few places and take some pictures.

These are a few I took.

We got some free skid wood from behind a home depot as well, which should do us for about 5 days or so as well. so it was a pretty productive day all told, except that hubby stepped on a nail while breaking up the skids. :( thankfully he just had a tatanus shot recently, and it was a clean non rusty nail...we've cleaned it up, and though it is sore, I think it will be ok.

Family day 2009

2009-02-16T12:14:00.001-05:00

Happy " Just another day" My Valentine's Day thoughts

2009-02-15T04:46:00.001-05:00

so.. I was just sitting here, and watching the tweets rolls by on Twitter in the early Am hours post V day. I noticed a lot of women talking about it being nice and what they got as gifts. still a lot more tweeting about getting home from evening out, and needing to get out of the clothes they are in to get comfortable, and still others tweeting about how their V-day sucked over all.

It was then that the word Comfortable hit me, and I smiled, and I thought... mmmmm comfortable... yes I am.. and I love it. I would not want to be any where else.

I admit that I once fell victim to this made up holiday that does nothing more than make everyone feel unloved and lonely at some point in their lives, and in my opinion, holidays are supposed to make people feel loved and special. I spent a lot of my teen years without a date to the Valentine dance, and therefore didn't go, and felt ugly and fat and unloved, I spent my early 20's trying to make up for that my dating anyone who would even look my way, and even married one of them! ( uggg)... I used to dress up, and spend hours on my hair and make up to go out.

I get how it all works... but there is so much beyond that surface.

I worked in bars as a Karaoke Hostess in my 20's and it was just a given that as the hostess, showing off your boobs, batting eyelashes, flirting, getting and keeping the attentions of male Patrons and looking good doing it, would keep me hired by the bar to come back and bring in the customers for them to sell drinks to. I've been here, done that.

I get the whole sell the package to date someone in order to find a mate, possibly one you'll marry. But that is not who you really are. is it? It is not who I am.. thought I admit, to meet my husband for the first time, I spent a considerable amount of time preparing to meet him ( and terrified to death he'd hate how I looked, being too short and too chubby)

I hated that, and not being seen for who I really was on the inside...but I did it anyway, because that is what society says we as women need to do...sell ourselves sexually in order to be liked.

Perhaps 10 year has matured me, and I've gained wisdom, or at least I'd like to think it has, and I have not just become complacent. Thought I can guarantee you some of those girls crying themselves to sleep alone tonight, or having meaningless drunk " I don't want to be alone on Valentine's day" sex with some guy who'll leave tomorrow morning and will never see them again would look at me and say I'm crazy, or laugh and say I've fallen victim to the "being married-going to pot" issue they will never find themselves in, but I don't care... I'm comfortable and I think they could learn a thing of two from it.

They can laugh at all they want....I hope they find someone to be comfortable with soon, who loves them for who they really are, because being comfortable is OHHHH SOOO wonderful!

My husband didn't buy me chocolates, or roses, or diamonds, he didn't make me breakfast in bed. He didn't take me out to a romantic dinner that costs a day's salary, or spend twice as much on a bottle of wine to get me tipsy in hopes I'd "put out " later.

I didn't spend hours worrying about what I'd wear, or how I looked, pouring myself into some tight pair of leather pants, stiletto high heel boots, and cinching myself up into a corset to show off my boobs, in order to get sexual attention from him. ( I mention this because someone tweeted that as I was reading...that's what they were taking off after a night at a bar, and coming home alone, upset that the efforts were in vain)

If it wasn't so sad that these people are creating their own misery on this made up holiday I'd laugh at the fact that as a "frumpy married housewife and stay at home mother" I got lucky more times today then they have in probably a month. But I don't take pleasure in other people's pain ( even if it is misery and pain they have caused themselves merely by their own perceptions and thoughts)

So just what IS comfortable? What made a perfect Valentines day for me?

First I didn't have an expectation, it was just another day.

I woke up this morning to a soft kiss on the back of my neck and a loving snuggle under the blankets. My children came and said good morning, and then want off to pay with & feed the dog, play Wii, eat breakfast, and left hubby and I alone to enjoy some alone time...sure it wasn't "sexy and steamy" like in the movies...sure we had to stop about 6 times and go check on them to make sure they were not torturing the dog and to get them to stop fighting over the Wiimotes...but it was good, and real, and relaxing and wonderful, and the kids didn't even haved a clue.

Then I got up, leaving hubby to rest and nap some, and went and got some wood for the house, and let the kids play in the workshop riding their bikes. We came in and was greated by Hubby who was up feeling somewhat rested from his extra sleep. Throughout the afternoon there was small moments of affection, kisses and winks, and hugs, between making the kids get their snacks off the floor, getting the fire going, and make the kids stop fighting over the heart shaped sugar cookies we baked the night before.

Then we decided to go into the city to find some scrap pallets for free heat and to take in a movie with some free movie passes we have. This didn't mean all of a sudden I went running off to plan my attire etc....I pulled my hair back in a pony tail, changed my shirt to one with long sleeves. put on clear lip gloss, my winter boots and coat, got the kids and hubby in the van and off we went.

Our valentine's day meal was McD's burgers in the van of the Wal-Mart parking lot, where we went to allow our 4 year old son to buy some things with his birthday money from his Nana.

While we were there we picked up milk, because we needed it.

Then we went to a movie...hubby and I sat together, with kids on either side of us ( to keep them from fighting) we enjoyed the movie, we text messaged each other while watching the movie LOL ( we're geeks LOL) the kids loved the movie, and we enjoyed watching them watch it and enjoy it.

Then when left the movie, we got in the van and went and grabbed some busted up pallets/skids from behind a store in the city that offers them free for the taking, and drove home. The kids slept in the back seat after about the first 15 minutes of the over 1 hour drive. During that drive home, Hubby and I chatted and laughed, joked and smiled. It was comfortable, and it was good.

We came home and got the kids to bed, and as I write this, DH is now sitting behind me at the stove making fire to warm us up again after being gone for over 7 hours. Then we are going to go to bed, and we'll snuggle and go to sleep, or maybe not... and then we'll go to sleep.

Comfortable is a good place to be :)

being happy, or being miserable is all in how you chose to see things.

How do you see it?

I hope you saw it as a good day, no matter what status you are ( single /married or otherwise)

Happy "just anoher day"

My Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

2009-02-14T02:26:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Celebrity Collage of my hubby by MyHeritage

2009-02-14T02:11:00.001-05:00

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

An open letter to Kraft Canada & Mr Christie Crackers

2009-02-13T18:05:00.003-05:00

I just opened a "family size" box of Salted top Premium Plus crackers to make lunch for my husband. I put the sleeve on the plate for him to open them and use at his discretion, walking away to continue lunch for the children. He called me into the room and told me to look at the cracker and I immediately noticed that the crackers are no longer square, they are in fact very visibly a rectangle now. In fact I measured them and they are 5 to 6 mm (or .5 cm) shorter on one side.

I would like to think that this is a manufacturing mistake you are unaware of, but sadly I know it is not. I have seen too many companies recently downsizing the amount of food they sell us, in the same looking package, charge the same, or even more then the price before, claiming the cost of ingredients and production, transportation, and the shape the economy is in is making these changes a necessity. We even get carefully worded guilt trips from companies telling us that if you don't do this, you'll have no choice but to discontinue making our cherish and beloved products you offer us...and ya I know, it works for the most part.. the average consumer sucks it up and thinks..."well. it's not THAT bad really... and I really want to still be able to buy my ".

Maybe I could forgive you if I didn't feel so lied to right now. But, the picture on the box shows the crackers are still square, in fact, they are lifesize, they always were. It's a marketing thing, I know.

Though you may have changed the number in grams on the corner of the box to reflect the change and that is all you're required to do, you know full well that if the box looks the same, and it is a trusted product that your customers have been buying for years, they won't take notice of the weight change of the contents in the box.

I can assure you though, HAD I noticed this in the store, I would not have purchased them at all. You rely on people like me shopping in a rush with two small children distracting me to not notice the changes, until we've already bought them, and get home and open them. You then hope we'll be complacent enough to not care, or be too busy to concern ourselves with returning the product, and then hope that we will forget by the next grocery trip and buy them again. You rely on this until we, the general population, just shrug in indifference and keep buying them anyway, because by then, what's the point of complaining. Right?

This is a clear manipulation by your marketing & package design departments, and is a clearly a blatant case of false advertisement you'd hope would slip by without much complaint. Well, Mr. Christie, let me assure you, I don't like being manipulated and lied to and being treated like an idiot.

Perhaps it will just slip by most people. Perhaps you don't care that I've noticed and am upset by this, because I'm just one representative of a small percentage of customers who would take the time to write and complain about this. But I will not sit silent and let you think that you are getting away with this without it being noticed.

I have eaten Premium Plus crackers since I was 4 months old and my mother fed them to me when I was teething, and sadly,at 35 years old, after this box is gone (which I will consume is disgust only to not waste my money) I will no longer be purchasing your crackers.

Sincerely, A mother, wife, and main household shopper in your prime demographic.

One Word Wednesday

2009-02-12T01:27:00.001-05:00

So I've been trying to come up with a Blog "meme" for my posts.. but I didn't want to do other people's memes... and hve been trying to come up with one.. so this one is going around facebook, and I thought I would start "One Word Wednesday"

Maybe I'll come up with a few different questions from somewhere to answer every wednesday, or maybe I'll just post one word... but here it is. My first One word Wednesday

Remember - you can only use ONE WORD in answering each question.

Where is your cell phone?
clevage

Your hair?
ponytail

Your father?
short

Your favorite thing?
family

Your dream last night?
<shudder>

Your favorite drink?
Coke

Your dream/goal?
stressless

The room you are in?
Living

Your fear?
Loss

Where do you want to be in 6 years?
here

Muffins?
suck

One of your wish list items?
clothes

Where you grew up?
island

The last thing you did?
baked

What are you wearing?
shirt

Your TV?
Samsung

Your pets?
lots

Your computer?
dead

Your life?
C.R.A.P.

Your mood?
<sigh>

Missing someone?
some

Your car?
Wooluga

Favorite store?
tig

Your summer?
eventful

Your favorite color?
green

When was the last time you laughed?
seconds

Last time you cried?
hours

Three people who email me?
mothers

Three of my favorite foods?
Sweets

Three places I would rather be right now?
alseep

Three people I think will respond?
mothers

it's the little things

2009-02-10T22:49:00.004-05:00

On Monday I was feeling like totaly crap after catching some kind of bug at the party we did a photo shot at on Saturday. But the weather was nice, ( above freezeing) and though DD was sick as well, we NEEDED wood, and we had to just suck it up and go do it. so we went off to a freind house ( said friend who sold us the wood stove in fact) and chopped up some dead fall behind her garage and used a sled to drag it over to the car over the snow in the side yard, and fill the back of the van with wood.

It didn;t take too long , but it totally sucked the energy out of me to do it. The last round of cutting with the chain saw, hubby took the saw and carved our initals in a block of wood. It seems so stupid and silly, but that to me, is better then a dozen roses or chocolates :)

I smiled and told him that now I would not be able to burn that log, I'd have to keep it and varnish it, to preserve it. He asked me why, and said it wasn't even the best he could do, he was just fooling around. I didn't care. it was spontanious, and I loved it. I told him that I would keep it and when I'm 92 and the great grandkids are visiting me and he's dead and gone, that I'd tell them about their great grandfather andhow sweet he was, and how he had crved that for me, the first winter we were in this house, and that he did it with that old fashioned tool called the chain saw...lol. he then of course, being the man that I love and adore... started to joke around in an old man voice saying stuff like we heard our grandparents say... " back in the day, we had to chop and haul our own wood, we didn't have it as good as you kids have it today, where you just plant a tree and press a button and it falls to the ground already dried and cut and split ready to burn!"

I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes LOL...

here's a pic of the wood :)

( today is the 10th anniversary of our private committment ceremony too. just coincidently)

2009-02-09T21:38:00.001-05:00

son to bed & SLEEPING-gave melatonin 50 min before bed time-He was in much better mood 2day!
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Melatonin to the MAX!!

2009-02-09T02:11:00.002-05:00

So, I mentioned a few posts back that I'm reading some books on ADHD to refresh my memory, and to apply it to the kids and their hyper ways, scatterbrain issues, and the whole non compliance issues we are having with 2 adhd (plus) kids, and a ADHD mommy who forgets to be consistent in the routine department and consequences to keep them in a routine ( which is how ADHD kids cope best)

Some of the techniques have been things we did before, but me and my ADHD ways, I forget, stop doing them, and things go back to the chaos.But the last two days have been decent when I started the "1,2,3 magic" over again, and I've been able to nip unwanted behaviour in the bud by usually the calm but firm count of two.

One of the biggest issues of ADHD kids is night insomnia...and their inability to "shut off their brain" and get to sleep, they just keep going and going and going, and even when they are totally exhausted and totally crabby and bawling on a puddle on the floor from frustration, they still have a hard time some days falling asleep. it is completely physically and mentally and emotionally exhausting for all involved, and everyone ends up short tempered when lack of decent sleep sets in.

Last night hubby and I were laying in bed chatting and reading the books and comparing notes, and for like the 6th night in a row, our 8 year old daughter who has been having ever increasing issues falling asleep due to her compulsive worrying and anxieties, comes in unable to sleep again, very frustrated with herself, and upset...I mention to hubby that the book I'm reading mentioned melatonin, and it was something I'd forgotten about. He reminded me that he had some he stopped using because the doctors recommended it for his CFS, but it gave him adverse side effects due to his strange and complex system functioning. So he took out the bottle, read it to see recommendations, weighed our daughter, determined a safe dose and gave it to her for a try. She took it after much convincing and crushing the small pill, and went back to bed, and nothing more was said. She seemed to fall asleep, but we were not sure how long she laid and read or watched a dvd to do so.

Then, she slept in until noon!!! And we had to get up and out the door for a party. she was SOOOO crabby...Yesterday we went to a birthday party for some friend's youngest daughter ( first bday), and we were there for a good 4 hours since I was hired to do photography for the party for them, and since I was busy flitting about the room, my kids filled up on pop and chips and other hyper inducing foods with very little substance...we got home and once again our children were too hyper at even midnight to sleep ( usual bedtimes is 8:30 and 10 pm) they were fighting and jumping around, watching dvd's trying to "settle" in the kid den, and I was so mentally exhausted i didn't care if they did or did not sleep, I was just at LEAST hoping for a hyper focus on their parts of a movie they liked so I could have some silence and hear myself think after being at a party with over 35 people!

So, forward to today, they had finally fell asleep at like 3 ish AM, and we were heading to bed at like 4 am, because we NEED some no kid, alone time that doesn't involve sleeping side by side....they slept until about 11 am, and got up, and were their usual busy, energetic selves, running all over the house and just going totally full throttle all day.

I was so not in any position today to hear their fighting and arguments, and trying to explain personal space to a wiggling 4 year old...I'm feeling like I am getting some stomach bug of some kind, and my plans to do anything productive to make up for my total lack of housework the last 3 days was foiled...i did a few dishes and cleaned up after the stuff they did today, so as not to have a COMPLETE disaster to clean up tomorrow or whenever I feel better, and I was mentally drained and in no mood to deal with kids again until 3 am!

Hubby reminded me to try them both on melatonin tonight, so I broke up the doses and put it in their drinks at the table for their evening lunch ( snack really, but in Cape Breton the food and tea consumed between the large evening meal and bedtime is called lunch)

Within 35 minutes, my son who ate his lunch licking his milk from a bowl to "play puppy" while he danced standing on the chair while eating his food, yelling and singing at the top of his lungs to annoy the pants off his sister, was laying over the computer chair in the living room, starting to look TIRED!!! and my daughter, who during her lunch at the table being pestered by her little brother ans was whining in piercing tones to tell me to make him stop bugging her and SCREAMING at him while she swung her leg from the chair in a rhythmic motion to keep moving, was sitting easily without figitting beside hubby looking at the latest video going around on twitter ( david after the dentist!) and was giggling, not LAUGHING so loud that she was shreaking and getting wound up!!!! I looked at them and almost wondered where my children were and who replaced them with these reasonable replicas!! I then said to hubby.."I gave them the melatonin at lunch eh?" and he said, " you mean just now?" ( he still cannot understand why we east coaster call it lunch) and I said Ya.. he looked at Bupba and was in shock! " he's actually TIRED!!!"

Usually bedtime is an hour fight to get them upstairs and requires me to be with them for 4 to 5 story books, dark rooms, and whispering and keeping them in their rooms. Tonight I said " time for bed I think" and told them to head on up, and they pretty much went without arguing with ME or each other!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went up to check on them and found them laying on the floor in the den camped out watching fox and the hound being very interested and quiet and NOT climbing the shelves, jumping off the desks etc....so I just left them....then I went back and checked again... in less then 20 minutes of them tucking THEMSELVES in ( albeit on the floor in the den with fox and the hound playing on the TV but who am I to be a stickler at THIS point!), they were both asleep!!!!!!

I almost began to cry from relief!!!... it is ALMOST 2 am here, and hubby and I have had about an hour and a half of alone time already!!! I hope this is NOT an anomaly and that this will continue!!!!

Tomorrow night, I'll give them the melatonin with a snack half hour before their respective set bedtimes and see where it takes us...lets hope we've hit on something to help them regulate their sleeping issues.

Now for the crappy part.....hubby is trying to convince ME to take melatonin too, so maybe I'll get to bed before 5 am and sleep better in the night....and I'm resisted the urge to argue about it, because 2 am is when I do my best hyper focusing on stuff like getting my website updated, or chat with my friend on gmail, or tweet, or blogging.... etc... LOL...

jumbo shrimp

2009-02-06T23:39:00.001-05:00

is there such a thing?

Quote of the day

2009-02-06T14:37:00.000-05:00

Develop the mind of equilibrium. You will always be getting praise and blame, but do not let either affect the poise of the mind: follow the calmness, the absence of pride.

Confessions of "ADDGirl"

2009-02-06T01:27:00.004-05:00

So...some people don't get this "personal" on their blogs and I always wonder where the line might be, but I've decided recently that I'm not going to censor myself this way...and besides there are only about 4 or 5 of you who read this on any regular basis, and we are all human, and I write this to be "me".. so if I reveal a real part of me....that's ok. I've been working on accepting that not everyone in the world will like me and that it is OK to not be liked by everyone and it is not necessary to feel anxiety of someone doesn't like me for any reason, be it a legitimate reason, or one they perceive that is just not true.

I, as a lot of people... have emotional baggage, I'm sure my baggage is just baggage to many, and to others it would be the kind of baggage, that makes you thankful for your own baggage. But... being a child who grew up with ADD and learning disabilities unknown to anyone, including themselves.. and being a kid who grew up in a family of drinkers, I have a LOT of emotional baggage.. like huge LUGGAGE that needs to be checked in to be carried around. Over the years I have been able to find peace in my life and work out some emotional stuff, to be able to downsize my emotional Baggage to just a few carry on pieces. But they are always still there, reminding me, making it hard to walk down the narrow aisles of life, smacking other passengers in the shoulder, and leaving me full of anxiety, upset, sadness, frustration, and much more wishing I could be a minimalist and just throw out the carry on bags and be done with it.

Anyway.. I tell you all of that to tell you this...The largest article in my carry on baggage is anxiety about most social situations & the relationships I have with people in my life....my spouse, my children, my neighbors, acquaintances, extended family etc... I worry constantly about how people look at me ( opinions) how I behave in situations etc.. you know a basic need (addiction) for approval by people... to the point that lack of obvious signs of approval from people, makes me think they don't like me, I made them mad and that's why they don't call, so then I avoid them. fear of saying the wrong thing, not being "cool, nice, important, funny etc" enough to be their friend etc.

this has caused me to be a "people pleaser" all of my life, and led me to job in the caregiver field being a personal care worker for people with disabilities.

Anyway...It is something that drives me NUTS, and something I wish I could change in myself without taking anxiety drugs prescribed by a doctor, and without coping with alcohol as I did in my early 20's.

This whole thing, I've known for some time, stems from my basic relationship with my mother as a child. the person as a baby/child trusted the most, looked to for my needs to be met. The issue was that my mother was 16,and practically a baby herself emotionally with the MASSIVE check in luggage she started her adult life with, and therefore she was literally incapable of providing me with the solid foundations I needed to foster relationships and nurture them in a positive way in my life. AS a result of being an ADD child with learning disabilities I was no doubt a challenge to parent growing up. There was a lot of "emotional abuse" in my life growing up, and I've known for a long time that it colored the way I act, react, and come at the relationships in my life with people.

this could end up turning into a book, but I'll save that, and just touch the points as best I can...at 30 years old and during the pregnancy of my second child my hidden ADD got bad.. to the point of putting me in mental inertia, and I felt like I was going in circles with one foot nailed to the floor. I was a complete mental wreck from the raging pregnancy hormones playing with my brain chemistry. So much so, I sought help from a counselor, who recommended me to an ADD Doctor because she thought that was the issue. I was diagnosed shortly after my son's birth in 2005. I started to read some books about ADD as much as I could to grasp as much as I could about it to try and make positive changes in my life, to learn to manage the ADD and not let it manage me. It was bad enough that is made my marriage have times of serious stress, and my husband and I fought and argued a lot....there were times when I could not take the stress and thought... a LOT that i should just leave the relationship, because it didn't matter what I did, I was just not able to make it work.

I'd been trying to tell my husband for the last 4 years or so since my diagnosis, that even given his very high level of patience for my daily mess ups, and slip ups, forgetfulness, disorganization, and ease with which I can create chaos that he didn't understand where I was coming from because he could not possibly understand what it is like to have ADD and personally live with being a flake so much.

I have terrible self esteem as it is, and I beat myself up emotionally as was done to me as a child every time I mess up. by the time he sees the mess up and starts getting upset at me( even when it is totally within reason that he SHOULD be upset about it) I've already been chastising myself about it, and that little chastiser in my brain suddenly gets defensive and snaps back at him because he is stepping on her territory...it was the best way I could describe it, because that it what happens when he expresses his disappointment and frustration sadness, or even anger at something my ADD is responsible for. ( this can occur a lot, because well...I mess up a lot, and we argue every time it does because I tell him, he needs to not complain so much, and he tells me I have no idea how much he holds back and doesn't say.)

So recently, with the kids being completely out of hand with the routines and hyperness and ADD qualities I seem to have passed onto them, I put some books on hold at the library to read about ADHD parenting. I figured a little reeducation on ideas for myself, as well as for things to do with the kids to make things less chaotic in the home would be a benefit to everyone.

I ordered a book that is brand new in the stores, and our library bought it and we were the first to put a hold on it and get it in. While I was reading Daredevils and DayDreamers, my husband started reading the new one, called "SuperParenting for ADD".

After he read the first chapter he had an epiphany, and we had what I think is a significant turning point in our relationship regarding my ADD, and if that is the ONLY thing that book was good for then it has done good by me...(but I have a feeling it will be even better as each page is read, for us as parents of kids with ADD)

so, he reads the first chapter and then once the kids were in bed, started a conversation with " so, when I get mad at you, and you feel like you're "getting in trouble" as you call it..tell me how you feel... tell me what you're thinking in those moments."

So I started to rhyme off some stuff, not getting deep about it.. and he kept asking me to think more....and I was getting annoyed...I just wanted to relax, not get all philosophical and deep. But he pressed gently/firmly and said he was curious and wanted to know, and didn't want to give me any leads. He wanted to hear from ME what I felt.... so I thought about it, and talked about it, and I told him that I don't feel like he loves me anymore when he gets upset with me, or is disappointed in me...I started to get emotional...damn I hate when he makes me cry cause he makes me go deep in the luggage to find crap. ( but at the same time I love him for it.. he is my biggest supporter, best friend, and one of the biggest reasons I've come this far emotionally).

So we started talking and I told him that I don't feel loved, and that I hate disappointing him, because I just want him to be happy all the time and never be disappointed in me, or upset, or sad or hurt by something I've done. I told him I can't handle when people are mad at me, and it bothers me deeply. Then he asked me "but don't you know that it is just you're behavior, or the consequences we endure due to your ADD moments that I'm not happy with and that I still love you no matter what?" to which I promptly started cry and told him, in fact no I don't know that he still loves me at all. One of the biggest things that always hurts me so much when he gets upset with me, is that he can seem to walk away from it to cool off and does cool off and then never touches on it again, and I am left there still full of anxiety and resentment and fear and sadness feeling totally unloved like a complete failure, because of just how much I often do mess up ( daily, hourly sometimes even...there are days I should have never gotten out of bed because my brain chemistry is just not gonna allow me to function in any decent way at all)

He was surprised and said he really didn't think of it that way, and that it just occurred to him as he read the book because it explained how kids with ADD treated negatively emotionally by their parents can often end up having that color the way they have relationships for the rest of their lives.

I was never jealous of it, but he is always very good at letting the kids know that he was disappointed in their behavior but that he still loves them no matter what etc, and would hug them, wink, or give a pat on the head, and they would go off smiling and happy again. He said that it had never even occurred to him that I never got that kind of treatment as a child, and even thought we've talked about it, he didn't think about the fact that perhaps I was never told the behavior was negative, but i w as still loved.

I confirmed, while crying my eyes out, that yes, that is the case, and that knowing after I burn his roastbeef for the millionth time in ten years, or forget something, or break something, that he still loves me, would go a long way in making me feel less of a failure, and help me know that he still loves me. (I did take the moment to point out too, that with my learning disability, if I can't learn to consistently and properly cook a roast in the 10 years we've been together, perhaps the beef dinners would be best left to him, and we'd all be happy. LOL :))

It's been a few days since that talk now, and he's been his ever patient self, we're working on communication...me being more open instead of getting defensive right away, and him listening... and he's been being more attentive in the way I need him to be attentive.. not with flowers and crap, but with changing the way he approaches the way he guides me when we cook together, and being sure that he lets me know that he loves me...lovey and even sexy text messages in the midst of being upset with me, is helping me know that he is not taking away his love just because I messed up yet again and he has no clean socks to wear out of the house and I forgot to vacuum the living room floor AGAIN today like I said I was trying to get to, etc etc.

in a way it sucks that I have to mother the ADD child in me that never got the foundation she needed to be a better emotional functioning adult.... and it sucks that my husband is in essence paying the emotional debt left by others in my love bank, but we're getting there... and hopefully in time to be the kind of supportive positive mother my children need with their ADD in order to give them a fighting chance at managing their ADD traits in adulthood better.

Last night we cooked a dinner together and managed to get through it without arguing and actually smiling and enjoying ourselves by the time it got to the table, rather then me feeling upset, and misunderstood, and resentful and defensive walking away to try and gather myself again. It was nice. the food was really good. the best roast beef I've had in a Long time ( because I didn't cook it... LOL)... and I want it to continue.

anyway.. I'm off to bed, cause this took me over an hour to write out with the interruptions and it's late and hubby's patiently (?) waiting for me to finish this.

So there ya have it.... confessions of "ADDgirl" as my hubby fondly calls me ( and I actually don't mind)

2009-02-04T04:28:00.001-05:00

Uggg-this inner healing stuff really makes for intense crying spells to release the toxic C.R.A.P.
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My baby turned 4 today!

2009-02-03T03:45:00.003-05:00

Today my son turned 4 yeas old.
On friday he declared while cuddling in bed with hubby and I in the morning, that he wanted an outside birthday. With his Bday being on a weekday it was going to be hard to plan anything in such short notice, but some friends have kids who were not in school today so they came sledding with us for his bday.

the weather was PERFECT and we had a BLAST, hotchocolate and cupcakes were enjoyed and everyone had a good time... though my tooshie is VERY sore now!!!!

here are some pics from the day's events :)

Hubby took most of the pictures, and decorated the cake this year too :)

25 things about Me

2009-02-02T03:22:00.002-05:00

this is a note going around face book right now, that I was tagged for by my friends and did...

1. Stupid People annoy me
2. I rarely share my talents with people for fear of being called a "know it all" or arrogant.. mainly because I hate people who claim they have talent, don't in fact have any, and are arrogant about it because they don't know they don't.
3. I hate cooking, I don't have the attention for it
4. I love sweets way too much
5. I worry way too much...about everything
6. I hate shopping..maybe because i can't afford "fun shopping"
7.I love power tools, I'd rather be in at home depot or Princess Auto then a woman's clothing store
8.I hate the taste of Coffee and don't get the whole Timmie's craze or the Starbucks phenomenon, I've never bought a coffee, and I don't get why anyone would pay $4.00 for cup of something that tastes like shit and needs to be covered up with half the cup filled with sugar and cream. I do however, like the smell of coffee and wish I could like it, but I just can't.
9. I don't drink alcohol...except on very rare occasions.. like holidays, new years etc... and I have not been drunk in about 5 years. i could totally be a drunk easily, because i love crown royal and ginger, and love sparkly white wines A LOT.I could easily be an alcoholic if i wanted to be.
10. I love hot chocolate, as much as you probably love your Timmie's coffee, but I rarely drink it.
11. I communicate better in email & written form then I do in person for the most part, and worry all the time people thing I'm strange/rude because of it.
12.I have ADD and have lost the ability to concentrate on this so many times, i'm only at number 12 and I've been writing it for over an hour.
13. I am dyslexic.. that doesn't mean i see letters backwards, but it affects how i process what i read, my spelling, and ability to pronounce words right.
14. I am hearing impaired. I have audio processing disorder that makes it hard for me to talk to people in a crowd, over the phone or where background noise it. I read lips a lot. I often don't hear what people say right and make a fool of myself. Like today outside a family had a dog, and I thought they were calling it "blister" and i asked if it was a he or she.. turns out the dogs name is "mister"...woohoo
15. I taught myself to play the guitar at 13 years old, i write country music and sing...so well I could be famous... but since I stopped drinking in my 20's I have too much anxiety to sing in front of anyone anymore.
16. I'd like to change that about myself & make a CD of my music.
17. I love living in the country, it's totally me
18. I rarely wear makeup, takes too much time
19. I met my husband on the Internet, everyone said you can't find true love on the internet. we've been together for 10 years now.
20. i don't have friends, lots of acquaintances, but very few true friends. if i had to say i had a BF I'd say it would be SJSH, and she knows who she is.
21. I used to be a Karaoke hostess for a living.
22. I love my husband more than life itself, he is my best friend
23. I adore my children so much it makes my cry. I birthed them both at home in a kiddie pool, naturally with no drugs.
24. I chose to start living my life as a Buddhist over 9 years ago
25. I'm short (4 foot 11) and fat and I don't think I'm pretty... I hate everything about my physical self except my ears and my eyes.

My Soap Opera-As the Log Burns

2009-01-13T18:36:00.002-05:00

As The Log Burns....the daily soap opera of my life right now LOL...As anyone reading knows by the short text blogs recently, or because it is all I've been tweeting and facebooking about...we've been dealing with heating the new house with wood.

The house has electric baseboard heaters and a propane "fireplace" heater/stove for a heat source. When we moved in we had no idea that the propane stove here was such an inefficient way to heat. But when the tanks that were 65% full on closing day dropped to 18% full, and a quick calculation by hubby revealed we burned through over $400 in propane in less then 3 weeks, we figured that other sources of heating were absolutely necessary right away!!

After we recovered from near heart failure from this discovery, we shut off the propane heater and discovered that the baseboard heaters that were set to 10 degrees Celsius were actually throwing off about 17 degrees C, so when the hydro bill comes I plan to be sitting before we open it.( This whole thing just makes me wish we could get off the grid even faster, then our plan and intent.. the wind here is amazing!!!).

Our water is heated by the propane as well, so we've been using the remainder of the propane for hot water and it has dropped down to about 14 % full now since then. With the propane heater off, and a warm spell in the weather, we quickly found a wood stove to buy. I had been searching for a cheap as possible option on a wood stove anyway as we had planned to heat the house with wood partially, and "at some point" but we didn't anticipate that we'd have to resort to wood almost completely right away.

We are regular users/givers of the Freecycle type community based programs locally, so I had asked there, but nothing was available for free that we could get here without a rental of a forklift and a huge truck, but a person we freecycle with regularly who has become a friendly acquaintance, emailed me and said for a donation to her charity of $50 she would sell me a woodstove she had stored away for her living room since she was in the middle of renovating and wouldn't be able to utilize the stove until over a year from now.

It was very thoughtful of her to do, as she now will need to find another wood stove when she has her renovations done next year. I was happy to make a donation to her charity helping people in the 3rd world with books and personal hygiene items and clothes she boxes and mails to them. She also offered us a bunch of fallen down deadwood in her back yard that we can come and gather at our leisure through the winter, which I was supposed to go get today...but could not do... and I'll touch on that later..... So we installed the woodstove over a couple of days, with a few trips to the city to try and find proper stove pipes for the hole in the wall provided for the stove! ( someone didn't measure!! Ahem... not ME) That was most frustrating, but it gave me the opportunity for a drive by myself to the city while everyone rested at home, and I got to see the new Lowe's Store that just opened. A peacefull drive alone is a rarity around here. The night we got the wood stove installed, a wind storm provided us with some fallen trees to burn almost right away, and we managed to scavenge some free broken pallets from large boxstores to break up to burn to get us through the first week.

On the first days of gathering fallen trees, the small circular saw on a dying battery and the reciprocating saw on battery as well ( crappy JobMate from Canadian Tire set), proved to be pretty useless after the first few minutes or trying to cut through nay peice of wood, but i was better then nothing and t provided us the ability to cut enough of a line in the branches to crack them with our feet and body weight.

Scrambling for a better option for tools after the holiday seasons with little left in our bank accounts, we made the executive decision that a chain saw was necessary for us to be able to deal with heating the house with free wood. This meant we would have to tap into the kids allowance account. We just cannot afford to purchase a cord of seasoned firewood right now, after the moving costs, and the holidays so close together on our minimal monthly income our pensions give us.

We used most of what we had left in the budget and moving allowance to already purchase the wood stove and pipes necessary to get it installed. But, my 8 year old Daughter has a bank account that half of her allowance gets deposited into monthly and any gift money she is given for birthdays and holidays. She has been saving up since early September for a new camera, which we promised to help her buy by matching her dollar for dollar for. She already has the Canon camera she wants picked out, but we are waiting for it to go on sale to save a few extra dollars, so we informed her of the delay and reassured her that the camera will happen, but that it needed to be delayed for the sake of heating the house right now. She was a little worried, but with reassurances she understood and with her contribution we had enough with what we had left in our monthly budget for emergencies to be able to combine it to purchase a decent little 13 pound Poulin gas powered chainsaw for $140 ish at Lowe's. My 3 year old son was excited that it was green and matched my Virgin Mobile LG Rumor Phone...LOL.. truth be told I kinda was too :)

Having grown up in the country and also helping out at Dh's Aunt's campground in years past I know how to work a chain saw well enough to look like I know what I'm doing, and as long as it is not too heavy, and I can start it, I figured I could do pretty well at using it myself to keep us in free wood for as long as possible, and do a majority of the physical work my hubby is unable to do due to the limiting nature of his disability.

The first few days, he wore himself out using it, and he had to start it for me. It took a bit to figure out how to get it started, and I near ripped my arm off the first few times I went out side to our wood pile to gather some wood for the house. Funny enough... if you read the manual all the way through step by step...the instructions actually tell you what you need to do to be successfull at starting the darn thing LOL...Being ADHD, I'm kinda like a guy... I don't read manuals well.They are boring to me...takes too much time. I'm more suited to Ikea type picture directions with no words or just stumbling through things until I figure it out, or give up in frustration and have to concede that I need help or to read the manual.

So the last 3 weeks or so have been filled with busy busy days or physical hard work, not very much unpacking, and faling behind on regular housework like getting Laundry done. Every day feels like the groundhog day movie with Bill Murray...Wake up...Get up, start the fire, get the house warm again, eating, feeding the kids breakfast, going out to cut the pallets we've collected on our trips to bring in wood for the day, going for drives to collect dead fall that people on freecycle have said we could go pick up, or going for drives to wooded public land areas near the lake where there is older deadfall laying on the ground we could chunk up and filling the back of our minivan with and bringing it home. OR scavenging pallets from stores in the city when we are there for other purposes.Come home...prepare dinner together, which has been nice since we have not done that in AGES, and was one of the prime reasons for buying the house with the master bedroom on the main floor ( to give hubby more access and ability of his own)

We all do the collecting of the deadfall together...I do the cutting of the pallets and wood to burnable sizes at home mostly, and bring it in two times a day in a yardcart, and hubby makes the heat :) He's great at building fires,being the boy scout he is :) and the stone floor and brick wall the stove is on is like a heat sink and just keeps the heat in it for hours. We are able to maintain a decent enough temp in the living areas of the house and have the bedrooms be a bit cooler. Slippers and sweaters and snuggling with lap blankets are necessary at times, but it's cozy, and we're warm enough...we're not shivering, or chattering our teeth with blue lips by any means.

The transition to wood heat that is more hands on and needs to be tended to has not been too difficult for us. We've been down this road before when we live in Cape Breton, and I grew up heated by wood stoves. The ability to just turn on a thermostat is an ability a lot in our society in this day an age take for granted. I thought of my childhood and called home to thank my father for working so hard all those years ( he's STILL doing it!) to keep us warm.

I've been pretty impressed with ourselves and our ability to heat the house for essentially nothing once you subtract the purchase of tools like chainsaw and Maul Axe, and ongoing small amounts of gas and oil, but a big pile of wood in my driveway would not be turned away, or unappreciated. we're still living out of boxes due to the need to change over this early in our move.

My kids have a new appreciation for being warm, and the cost of keeping a house warm, and my three year old keeps going around the house telling me to shut off lights cause I'm "waisting the lectrickity"

I love the wood stove. It carries a lot of good memories for me growing up rural, and being warmed by the fire after being outside in the cold winter day sledding, or skiiing. Hubby loves tneding the fire, as there is something Zen and medatative about building a fire to warm us.

The kids love the wood stove too, and enjoyed sipping hot chocolate with marshmallows next to it to warm up after an attempt two days ago at skating on the frozen Mill pond across the road from our house....

Which brings me to today....and Why I have the time to sit here and FINALLY blog about it all.... and why I could not go and gather the dead wood at the friends house whom we bought the woodstove from, before the cold weather came on tonight...plain and simple... I shoveled the pond for skating... and I hurt myself.. again! :( You would think I'd learn, but I've never any other year in all my 34 years hurt myself shoveling like this... I've had sore arms from the workout or using an axe and chainsaw, etc, but I REALLY hurt myself again like on Solstice! Feeling like I put my lower back/pelvis out of alignment again.

Pain sucks...and today I was supposed to go cut up wood and bring it home to keep our heat going and I just could not... I can hardly get from the bed to the couch, where I sit now, typing this with a wireless keyboard on my lap.

I certainly cannot operate a chainsaw and axe today, bend and lift, and drive, and do all the things necessary to keep us in wood. I brought in what I could manage the other day and we burned through that the last two days, and then today we had nothing in the house. The temp was around plus 1 celcius, but snow and rain mix iwas forcast for the evening ( which it is doing now) and then 4 to 5 days of -12 to -20 degree temps.. not good collecting wood temps! Unsure of what to do I was chatting with a friend on facebook about my back, and when she asked how I was feeling and if there was anything she could do to help, I took her offer of help. Not sure if it was doable because it was a BIG favor, I asked if she knew anyone who heats with wood and could she see if they could spare a donation of some wood to get us through the next few really cold days until my back heals up enough for me to get back at sawing and cutting and splitting etc...she said to leave it with her, and got back to me a little while later, and called me to say she is on her way out with some wood for us...so I sit here waiting for her arrival, worried about the roads and her travelling in it, ever greatful for kindness and great people in our lives, wondering how I can pay it back in kind at some point.

My children being their usual energetic selves, drove me crazy this morning because I could hardly move and they were jumping all around me, and ON me and I could not tolerate even noise from the pain...they soon thereafter showed their compassionate sides and offered to come outside and help me gather the little bit of wood I could manage to gather with pain meds in me, and cut up with a table saw in the work shop so I wouldn't have to bend over, in order to keep the fire going today.

And somewhere on the coast of Scotland, a tubular log maker is making it's way to the Shetland Islands to my cousin's house, from a kind woman giving it to us, and posting it at her cost to my cousin, who is in turn going to box it, with other goodies from her family over across the pond to us ASAP, so we can utilize the abundance of cardboard and newspaper here to use as alternative fuel for the woodstove as well.

Though I feel sick to my stomach from the codine I'm taking for the pain, and a little spinny in the head too, and sore...I am smiling because we are blessed with warmth, by fire, and by kindness from people in our lives.

2008-12-31T01:15:00.001-05:00

Bought a chainsaw 2day to be able to go out and harvest fallen trees and be able to cut it up easy
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2008-12-31T01:14:00.001-05:00

Living in windy rural area has been proing to be beneficial-free firewood on road from storms!
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2008-12-31T01:12:00.001-05:00

Had to solve heating issue fast-friend sold me woodstove for donation 2 her charity-lifesaver!
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2008-12-31T01:06:00.000-05:00

Have not been able to blog much over the holidays w/ so much going on! Hopefully soon though
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Christmas Hiku

2008-12-25T13:28:00.000-05:00

Christmas Haiku It's Christmas today Time to eat turkey and pie Then unzip yer pants

Holiday Ramblings

2008-12-24T03:37:00.004-05:00

After a few days of EXTREME pain in my hips and back from what I can only imagine had to be from shovelling the INSANE amount of snowfall in such a short period of time. I'm finally feeling a bit better. I've been trying to do some Wii fit Yoga moves.

The pain was so bad I cried and could barley think straight. The crappy part was it was our solstice day holiday that I woke up feeling this way and was unable to move. It got worse throughout the day, and hubby just kept giving me pain meds, and trying to rub it out...it was as bad or worse then when I was in back labor with both of the kids, and when my pelvis went out of alignment at my son's birth and took weeks to snap back into place.

I was lucky in that I happen to live in a place where neighbors are nice and my 70 year old neighbor with a snowblower cleared out the bottom of my driveway! yes he's 70, but the man was out at the other neighbors last week shlepping a lazy boy chair over his back into the back of their car!!! I hope I have that kind of energy when I'm his age.

At any rate even with a lot of pain, dinner was nice, and hubby and DD8 did sbaking while I made a turkey dinner... yes I know I just posted that our Solstice dinner is roast beef... but this year we opted to switch it around and do our solstice menu on New years day...mainlt because DD wanted to, and we didn't have much objection.

Thinking I was doing a good thing, I started a turkey soup in my new crock pot that Hubby bought me last week ( complete with auto shut off etc for my ADHD brain!!) and i guess my old crock pot was lacking in ability somehow, because what would have been nice soup in my old crockpot, was mush in my new crock pot!! What a waste, but a good lesson and I'm glad it was with leftovers and not wit fresh ingredients for stew or something!!

Monday i had an appointment in the City fo my ADHD.. a while back I had some health issues that scared me and my Doctor was nervous about me staying on a stimulant medication for my ADHD and lowered my Ritalin dose significantly to the point of rendering me pretty much a bumbling idiot, and I went and saw a heart specialist to have my heart checked.. I got the all clear from him, and I'm as fit as a fiddle he informs me, so all is a go for Stimulant meds for the ADHD. We are trying Concerta for the first time and hoping the all day slow release effect will help a lot. So I got the script, and met back up with DH and the kids at the Mall after my appointment. We browsed as we were finished our minimal shopping for the holidays weeks ago.. there is something interesting in watching others around you panic shop on the 22nd of December...lol...a neat lesson in human nature.

We picked up Rock Band 2, a gift for the whole family we've been saivng for since we knew it was coming out...Hubby was so excited it wasn't even funny... we tried to buy Wii points for buying new songs but not ONE Walmat in a 100 klm radius of us had them...( we drove to every one of them!!!so I suggested we check the Zellers, and there they were...why doesn't anyone shop at Zellers anymore???? So that excursion got us home with two sleeping kiddlets and a van full of groceries to put away at like 3 am!!! What a day...my brain was fried.. I can't drive with no ADHD medication...i get bored real fast mentally, and need to either speed, which hubby won't let me do, or I get drowsy while driving...I ate baby carrots to keep myself awake...and took 3 caffeine pills...I ate a LOT of baby carrots, and I paid the price for that much fiber today!!

Needless to say I didn't get to bed until 5 am!! and the DS3yo had me awake at 8!! Yikes..then someone called at 8:5o0, when I HAD JUST got DS to snuggle with me.. I got up and started my day.

Today I Cleaned the KItchen more, made great turkey leftover stuffed potatos and then made pheffernuse cookies for the first time and they turned out pretty good too!!! Hubby LOVES pheffernuse, so I thought I'd try a recipe from an online friend out west, and they were really good :) i think they are a keeper and an addition to our holiday.

Tomorrow I have to fill my RX, and grab some ginger for the ginger bread house dough...and we have a winter storm watch pending right now...with freezing rain warnings, so I might not be going any where, but I'm anxious to try the Concerta and see if it helps anymore then the Ritalin did.... it had such a short lifespan in my system the doctor thought the Slow release of COncerta would be better. The problem is I've got a compassion prescript form the company to try it, and it is a drug not covered by my drug plan!! so if it works I'll be fighting to have it covered...and my Dr warns it is a HARD process. :(

Hubby is playing RB2, and I'm exhausted.... so I'm signing off and going to bed.. tomorrow I am making a meat pie as pat of our traditional Christmas eve Meal...Hope you are enjoying your holiday too.. all my followers.. all....3 of you... LOL

I NEED one of these!!!

2008-12-20T15:48:00.003-05:00

http://www.toro.com/home/snowthrowers/electric/powershovel.html Someone tell the Toro company to ship me one of these and I'll advertise the thing for them for LIFE...I near killed me back shoveling last night.... and environment Canada says we have more to come! With two small kids and a disabled husband...I don't want one... I NEED one!!!!

Making Family Traditions

2008-12-20T15:01:00.002-05:00

I thought I'd share our Holiday Traditions with you.

Most of our families traditions come from many beliefs and customs combined into one stretch of 12 winter fun days for us :) DD calls it the "12 days of winter".

We have been Buddhist for over 8 years now, and being Scottish and of a Celtic decent, it was fun for us to sit down and do a totally different holiday season than what most of the world around us does.We wanted to still have fun, but for it to be more suited to our beleifs and revolve it all around nature and the season and the things that are important to us.

We started to write out our own traditions we wanted to incorporate when we were pregnant with our DD and each year we have followed it and added a few other little things to it)

We start off with Bodhi day which is December 8th ( the day observed as when Buddha achieved enlightenment), and then spend the rest of December from that day on cleaning the house. We don't "spring" clean, we do the deep clean in December and finish any unfinished business ( emotionally, financially etc,) and try to be done before the 1st of January to start the year off fresh with no looking back. It's a Buddhist custom.

We have a norfolk island pine tree that we start to decorate on the 8th and add small decorations to daily until we get to Midwinter's eve.(the day before the first day of winter/Solstice.)

On Solstice eve the kids get to open one gift from old man winter in preperation for the longest darkest night of the year.It is usually new PJ's and a small toy.THe PJ's is a tradition my mom did with us on Christmas eve growing up.

Then we are ready after most of the clenaing up etc for our Midwinter day celebration and family dinner.

Our Midwinter celebration ( the solstice) is a Celtic holiday and we celebrate each year. It is our big holiday ( we don't observe Christmas /Santa besides attending a family dinner with the rest of our extended family who do and give one small stocking and a "Santa present" on the 25th morning. the kids know they come from us. But they still enjoy the fun of playing Santa and trying to stay awake and never managing to, to see us hang the stocking on their bedposts.

The Midwinter eve feast is always a candle light dinner of garlic and basil rubbed roast beef and gravy, Stuffing stuffed croissant sacks and potatoes and cheese perogies with sour cream and bacon bits, broccoli and cauliflower and carrots ( winter medley frozen veggies) with homemade cheese sauce, and a little sweet potatoes with honey ( mashed), brussel sprouts, and a sparkling drink in wine glassses ( non alcoholic).

Many dessert items are made over the course of a few days to choose from and to have things to offer company should they pop in. the recipes are mostly traditions from DH's family, and I usually make a lemon merange pie, which my mother used to make every year.

That day before sundown we open our the doors and throw back the curtains and let the sun shine in all day and at sun down we put the blinking lights on our living tree to light the longest night. It is decorated with crochet snowflakes and hand made icicles made of recycled pop bottles and blue and silver garland, we sometimes sing "Oh Winter tree" ( our variation on oh Christmas tree). We then leave the tree light until the end of our 12 days of winter on new years day.

Midwinter's day marks the first day of our 12 day Celebration of Winter that we start with a feast and end with a feast on new years day . The kids receive a small gift each day until new years day, they open them after dinner usually.I love that the kids are just as excited over new socks and underwear as they are toys.

The first day of winter and technically the day in which the sun is up for longer then yesterday and marks the beginning of the days shortening, we go for a walk at sundown and watch the sun and we picks some pine cones and twigs and inter foliage on our walk for our nature table.

Every day of the 12 has a special event that we pick to do. One day will be Animal day when we will make popcorn and peanut butter balls for the neighborhood critters ( and go for a walk and hang them from the trees.

Other days we make bread and surprise a neighbor with a steaming hot loaf of bread for them to share with their family. AS the kids get older we may pick certain days to help a shelter. On boxing day we box up all our dry and canned goods we won't use and donate them to the foodbank or a halfway house. Make an art or craft for our scrap book about the year we had.Be kind to a stranger, be kind to a friend etc.

We equate the winter solstice with wisdom, so we sit and talk about our year gone past and what we have learned and what we want to change and what we want to keep the same ( we don't do resolutions for new years we make vows of change and keep them written in a family journal that we go back and look at the next year)

On new years eve we rent movies or play games with family or friends and just before midnight I go outside in the quiet night and ring a bell 108 times. it is a Buddhist tradition that rids of the 108 "sins" man can be afflicted by. I then place a bowl of fruit and pine bows at the door of our home (outside) to bless the house with good karma and greet neighbors or call friends and family to tell them how I am thankful for them in our lives and what I hope will continue in our relationship in the next year.

New years day we cook a huge turkey dinner and prepare meals for the upcoming weeks ( turkey soups, sandwiches casseroles etc)

Then we settle in for a quiet Jan & Feb and veg out at home a lot between skating, sledding and skiing.

Cool Mom Points MEGA

2008-12-18T01:31:00.003-05:00

I made the kids octodogs tonight for supper LOL.. they LOVED em :)

2008-12-17T12:27:00.001-05:00

The kids are currently playing "adoption center" & dd just read ds's price tag-$2 for a newborn :)
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Happy Holidays

2008-12-15T03:27:00.003-05:00

Fun at the Library

2008-12-11T20:04:00.003-05:00

today we took the opportunity to go over an check out the little library in our new home town.

it is literally around the corner and I could probably hit it with a snowball from my back yard! so we went over and switched our addresses for our cards and got Bupba his very own card today. He was pretty excited.

it's a cute little satellite library for the main one in the town we used to live in. I'll be able to order any books from there online and pick them up here.Or I can pick up books while in town and drop them off here when I'm done with them :) i LOVE LOVE LOVE my library.

Snowmen & Santa

2008-12-10T22:26:00.000-05:00

No one under 12 should read this entry

Today had a slow start. We were lucky to find a Guitar hero World tour game in the city last night while we were shopping for some supplies to build the much needed wall and door for our bedroom in our new to us- 108 year old house. We're converting the original living room into our bedroom so Dh can do all his living on the main floor of the house. Anyway...we had been putting aside funds for when rock band came out for the Wii as our family holiday gift, having had the kids put in some allowance over the last few months into the sock for it, as well as monies we've been gifted for the kids for the holidays, and we were waiting for the release. World tour pretty much does everything Rock band 2 does, and the drums have the cymbals already, and we found out that RB2 will be compatible with GH:WT so we decided to make the purchase and save the line ups and crazy headaches on December 22ns when RB2 comes put. we DESPISE holiday shopping crowds, and we opt every eyar to make gifts, or buy early and get it out of the way. this year we've had our buying done early before we even moved to this house.

So anyway... due to the time of day we left last night to go to the city because DH was tired and resting while I shoveled snow, the foggy weather driving home... we got to bed late due to playing GH until almost 2 am. The kids played until midnight with us totally throwing out the brand new bedtime routine on the second night LOL... oh well the joy of being homeschoolers is we can make these provisions and then get back to the routine straight away... Special occasions can be the exception.

Dh and I woke early to the dog barking like he has never barked before when in his kennel, and he sounded like he was outside. DH got worried that I'd forgotten him outside all night, since I have ADHD and have a tendency of meaning to do something and then getting side tracked and forgetting to do it and thinking somewhere along the way that i DID in fact do it.

He wasn't outside, but he was driving me nuts with the barking so I ended up putting him out for a pee and crawling back in bed. When I put him out it was then that I noticed how icy it was outside. Overnight, contrary to the "forcast" the temperature dropped significantly and froze up all the rain we had driven home in only 8 hours earlier. I was thankful that the ice held off until early this morning. But was disappointed that our trip to town was going to be put off due to the condition of the roads.We are still without nuts for the kitchen table and eating off of tv table trays is getting tiresome.

We are fast finding that living in a rural back water AKA a Hamlet that is 11 KLM from the small town of 4000 we used to live in, that they don't salt or sand our roads very promptly. Not that I'm complaining, I grew up in a backwater, and half the fun of doing so was the icy winter days where no plow trucks have been through for days and you can literally skate up the road for miles. Due to being stuck home I crawled back into bed and snuggled with DH for a bit, and enjoyed the peace and quiet. The kids being on the second floor means they sleep less disturbed from Dh's ear;y AM bathroom trips, and they got caught up on their sleep today.

I stumbled about trying to wake up most of the day today, finding myself saying to DH that I wished I could learn to like Coffee. I mean REALLY wished I could learn to like coffee since I have 3 containers of unopened perk coffee in my cupboards that I don't use.

I've been without Ritalin for my ADHD now for about a week, and between that and the craziness of the move , and trying to live a normal day to day AND unpack the house and get it organized, my brain is just having a day where it was saying take a vacation!

My intentions were to get the washer and dryer set up,and keep on top pf the laundry, and not get behind on that as I usually am, but Guitar Hero called to me instead. I played a few songs with DH and DD8, and mostly just puttered about the house trying to get things done.

I made Chicken Curry and Roti bread for supper which took most of my concentration and brain power for the day. The enjoyable part of that is that DS3 helped me roll the roti bread out and did a really GOOD job at it! he was very impressed with himself and proud of his efforts. while he was doing that with me DH and DD8 were playing GH... Which as a matter of fact they are still doing now as I write this.

I managed to make a loaf of bread today in the bread machine,but in doing so, while grabbing the sugar from the roll out drawer in the pantry the whole drawer fell out and landed on top of the one below it with the cans on it, and knocked it out too and that one took the track off the wall of the cabinet with it! :(

Feels like two steps forward and three steps back somedays LOL

We've started a new bedtime routine fo the kids with separate bedtimes, and Bupba got tucked in at 8:30 with an ice pack and a t towel for his cheek, he's left a pretty good mark on his lower cheek jaw area, from slipping about in slippery soles on his PJ's and wearing his rocket boosters. I changed his sheets and I spent an hour with him, reading, doing his journal printing, and talking to him... which brings me to the title of this blog entry...

I thought given his age, I should ask Bupba what he knew about Santa being the season and all...he said he didn't really know who he was or where he came from or what he did...he said that in the Caillou Christmas special Santa came and gave him and Rosie and his mommy and daddy presents.

Since we are Buddhist and only "play Santa" with the kids fully aware of where stuff comes from, I told him about Santa being an elf and a story like Winnie the pooh, or Caillou and that they are fun stories to share and read, and that we "play Santa" and we keep that as a family secret because other families play Santa different with their kids and he should not tell other kids his age how his family plays Santa...at the risk of trying to to make it sound like a dirty little secret. I need to make sure he doesn't end up being the kid who destroys he belief in Santa for some other child/family.

Long ago when DD8 was an infant We decided to go this route because we were both raised on the whole Santa thing, but both feel that lying to our kids was not right speech or right action when it comes to the eightfold path.

Given that both DH and I felt greatly betrayed with the truth about Santa when we got older we came up with playing Santa for the kids to keep it fun and so they had a similar thing to share with other kids.

SO on Christmas eve the kids play "waiting for santa" like all other kids, and have a hard time with excitement getting to sleep but trying to stay awake once they are beyond tired, trying to catch Santa/Daddy putting a stocking on their bed knobs. Naturally, the never manage to stay awake for it, and they awake in the AM with a stocking of treats from "Santa" this is a small part of our 12 days of winter holidays and is a nice way to keep the idea of Santa going without lying and disappointing our kids at 8 or 10 or whenever, when they finally realize that he is not real and they lose all enjoyment of the holiday that was solely based on a lie for them.

Anyway....Bupba told me tonight that Santa travels on a trailer hauled by Snowmen in a truck, and that is how he gets around everywhere to say hello to kids, and give presents. I thought it was so cute but could not figure out why he thought this...so I asked him...and he looked at me and said in that "geesh mom don't you know ANYTHING?" voice..." Mommmmmmeeeeee I knowed dis is how Santa comes to town cause dat is how he did it on daddy's big tv when we wived in the owd house!"

it was then that it dawned on me that just a few weeks ago the Toronto Santa Parade was on tv and the Santa float was hauled by two men dressed up as snowmen in a big pick up truck with duel wheels LOL...

Duh mom!!!

Ok.....now that's I've taken this long to write and spell check and post this, the kids are in bed and I'm gonna go play GH:WT with Hubby and then do the dishes.

The Move-The new House

2008-12-09T15:26:00.003-05:00

Well it was hectic, an crazy... all of which was my fault, being ADHD I didn't allow for snags in the plan or time line and things didn't go as I hoped, but we're here in the new house, getting settled and unpacked a little each day.

Thankfully the snow held off until we got moved, which was always a concern for us given that our original closing date was December 1st. we were able to get the closing early and had the weekend to get some things moved on our own before the movers came on Monday, and with that, two truckloads from the movers and another 4 loads of a minivan hauling a 10 foot trailer I got it all moved.

the kids are enjoying their new bedrooms (seperate bedrooms) and we are slowly getting new bedtime routines established.

The water here is full of iron so when you run the tub it looks like weak tea in the tub...we are cooking and drinking with Spring water that we haul, but we knew this going into the move, so it's not an issue really. We hauled spring water before we moved here anyway.

The whirlpool tub works again now, after a little fiddling around on DH's part, and the kids were the first to enjoy a therapy bath.They slept so well that night. and now they are bugging for one everynight! lol I've told them they need to preserve water here and that the can have one very second night or so. Hubby had a therapy bath in the tub, which was something we really needed for him to have access too woth his disability and chronic pain, and he said it helped his muscles relax in a way that they have not in years and he can't beleive how long he's been living with and enduring the pain at the level he has for so long. I'm so glad that this is going to be helpful for him.

The kitchen was set up terrible, and the space for the fridge under the cupboard would not allow our double door fridge to sit in the space, so nwe had to move the cupboards. we figured that since we had to we might as well start moving the cupboards to where we will want them when we switch the kitchen around a little at a time as we can freecycle stuff to build an island. So DH mustered up the energy and I helped him move the large food cupboard over to the other side of the kitchen,level it and screw it in place leaving provisions for a pantry door into the under the stairs closet, and a space for when we move the fridge some day. IT will be an ongoing project with no finish date in sight...it will all depend on what we can recycle for materials, or buy cheap at the Re Store ( habitat for humanity store)

The upstairs needs a bathroom and we have a freecycled toilet for it alread that we've been saving for 2 years for "someday" and DH had the epiphany he needed for a decent placement of where the bathroom will go up there to not take away any space form the bedrooms, my office or the closets space,. just by changing where the doors to my office and Bupba's bedroom is to use the wasted hallway space in the upstairs landing. Of course before and after pictures will crop up on all this stuff as we go along.

We need to build a wall to close off the now bedroom/once living room from the kitchen on the main floor and build a door to shut off the bedroom, to the main of the house so DH can rest and sleep in the day.

The washer and dryer need to be moved from where they are provisioned to go, and we eventually need to move where the side door from the driveway and back porch is, to go off the back of the house in order to make i more windproof and weather proof, it's so cold back there now with the cracks in the door fame for the side door I hung a comforter over the back door to keep the wind from blowing straight through into the living room.

We knew the house had things that needed to be done to it, since it IS 108 years old at LEAST that we can trace it back. So I'm no complaining, but right about now I wish I could knit sweaters really fast! LOL it's gonna be a snuggle and put on another layer kinda winter...and we have not had the -28 weather in mid Feb here yet!!!

2008-12-03T12:12:00.001-05:00

-can't call it a failure cause we're mostly moved-but it is chaotic mess as per my usual-sorry DH!
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2008-12-03T03:52:00.001-05:00

Sweet-laying in bed watching the fireplace flames as they dance about keeping us warm
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2008-12-03T02:56:00.000-05:00

Tired-still have some stuff left to move-we get wifi isp from library though so will blog soon
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2008-12-02T11:48:00.001-05:00

Mostly moved no internet now -just phone-@oldhouse cleaning and last packing left from move 2go
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2008-11-29T12:30:00.000-05:00

@ the new house alone dropping off a trailer of outside stuff-1st &last time it will be this quiet
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ADHD Haiku

2008-11-28T04:21:00.002-05:00

Out of Ritalin
Doctor is out of city
spinning in circles

Homeowner

2008-11-27T22:21:00.002-05:00

We went to the lawyers office today and signed the papers to close the deal on the house. All the money has been paid to land transfer taxes, to the lawyers, deposit to the seller and first mortgage payment has been made.We asked the lawyer to try and see if they could firm up the lose ends tomorrow instead of waiting until Monday and possibly getting the keys tomorrow so we'd have the weekend to move fragile stuff like gerbils, budgies, and plants. He said that the sellers lawyer usually takes of Fridays, but he'd call him this afternoon with all the paperwork and details to see if they could firm it up tomorrow for us. So we're hoping the layers call us tomorrow with the good news that we can pick up the keys and the house will be ours to start moving stuff on Saturday.

We then went for a drive to the house to have a look and they have it all cleaned out and vacuumed and ready for us to just move our stuff in. Looks like the rowing machine and the large painting I was hoping they'd leave behind is still there :) I only want the painting for the frame and the canvas I plan on painting over it.

The Kids are stressed out and picking at each other and driving ME and themselves nuts. DD doesn't do well with change ( read "no puke pills" in 2005 archives) and little ADHD boy is climbing the walls and hanging off my last nerve. I keep breatheing but I'm about to hyperventilate LOL, thank goodness for a blog to vent.

hubby the darling that he is, thought ahead and burned a bunch of our DVDS to one disk for them in the dvd player and they are in their room watching Lilo & stitch 2. we bartered with them for staying in their room with the video, to stay out of my way to empty the attic. Some would call it bribing, and say it is a negative thing to do, but I look at it as teaching compromise and symbiotic relationships.A handy tool to know in life.

Just taking a break from emptying the attic currently...seasonal stuff and baby stuff I wanna keep for when the kids have kids ( bassinet, crib toy etc) Now that I'm all done having babies...oh my gosh, can you IMAGINE how much more I'd be moving right now if we still had baby stuff younger then 3 yo stuff to move? so thankful and blessed to be the family we are.

OK one more paragraph and this will be bordering on procrastination. I hate the attic stairs theya re like a ladder and very rickety.

Homeschooling Grade System- By an 8 Year old

2008-11-26T21:13:00.004-05:00

My daughter just came to me while I was cooking dinner and told me that school grading system suck, and this is how it should be a-Awesome b-Bad c-Close d-Do it again e-still undecided f-Fantastic t-Terrific!!

First Snow of the Year

2008-11-26T19:16:00.007-05:00

While every where else around us has had enough snow to play with, we here, being so close to the lake, can't count on the weather systems to work the same way for everyone else. we are jetted out into lake Ontario, are are very often in our own little world when it comes to precipitation.

So, only today did we finally accumulate enough snow for the kids to actually be able to get dressed and go outside and play. It's a very dense wet snow and while not a welcome sight for hubby or I with us moving to our new house in 5 days, it IS the perfect snow for sledding and snowmen, which please the children beyond belief.

This is the first real winter that Bupba has the vocabulary to express himself well as the unique individual that he is. He's decided that he doesn't like snow pants and mittens because they make him sweaty.

I discovered this when I was packing the yard stuff on the trailer a friend lent me, when bupba came outside in just his spider man Halloween suit, boots and a wide open coat informing me of just how sweaty and yucky they made him.

Thankfully it is half snow and half rain so it is only about 2 degrees celcuis outside so he didn't freeze, but he will sure learn that mitts and snow pants are a welcome wardrobe for Canadian winters.

My daughter decided on making a snowman, and started one before we left to go grab more packing boxes from some stores in town, but came home to find that the said friend who'd brought by the trailer for us to use, had run over her snowman...she's doesn't build em big, so it was understandable that he didn't see it in his huge pickup truck backing the trailer into our yard.

when we got back, DD rebuilt her snow girl.
Bupba shoveled snow things around the yard while I put the yard stuff getting covered in snow into the trailer and then threw the shed roof over the top of it to keep it all from getting more covered with snow.

I've been so busy packing and cleaning and getting this move sorted out, that I haven't really been stopping to smell the roses like I try to do on a daily basis. So for a few minutes while outside I grabbed the small camera and took some pictures of the kids, and just stood in the yard and looked at the snow covered trees and took a breath.

It was nice, for just a moment I forgot that our life is housed in boxes right now.

Then I came inside and the crashing reality of just why we are moving hit me like a lead brick. the front hall in the house really sucks...you walk in from the front door, and there is stairs to go up, and then a door to the living room. And in the winter this hallway gets soaked with snow on the floor, wet clothes, and boots,mitts, hats and scarves. 4 people trying to undress from winter clothing in a 3 by 6 "hallway" really sucks...kind of like when I was in my 20's and would take the TTC home from work at rush hour being packed like sardines, but all trying to take off your boots and coat and not get your socks wet all at the same time. it's a chaotic awkward ballet of sorts.
This first snow was a reminder of just exactly why we are so blessed to be moving to a new house.

Green for Cheap

2008-11-26T18:47:00.002-05:00

As a homeschooler, everything is a chance for learning, so a recent trip to the grocery store really presented itself as a lesson in marketing and being environmentally friendly for little or nothing, when my daughter suggested we buy a pretty bottled “green” cleaner for the toilet.

It drew her attention because of the pretty daisy on the clear bottle and the word “Green” with a picture of the earth. I just had to cringe at the blatant marketing scam, and shake my head as I watched three women pick up the bottle and stick it in their cart without even reading the bottle, all for the low, low price of $3.98 for a 500 mg spray bottle!

Green is the new marketing/advertisement buzz word these days, and it drives me nuts! If it says “green” on it, it must be good for the environment right?

I’m amazed that people will pay extra for something that claims to be environmentally friendly, not knowing if it really is, or even considering that there are much cheaper options available. Our society is far to conditioned to the use of convenience/time saving products that allow them to not have to put any thought into stuff because they are too busy. Meanwhile, these companies are laughing all the way to the bank with your green, just by claiming they are green and packaging it all in a pretty convenient spray bottle that lessens our “environment guilt” with each squeeze of the trigger.

The cleaning solution in question was made by a large company that makes other popular “non green” cleaners for every surface or appliance in your home, and this one’s claim to being green is that it was made with plant extracts and had no phosphates in it. On closer inspection on the back it did not even list it’s “natural plant extracts” ingredients, since they are only required to list the alcohol that was this cleaner’s base. It made me wonder if this product was simply green colored alcohol?

The pretty picture of a flower with water droplets on it’s peddles implied “fresh”, and the clear plastic bottle to show off the pretty green color of the cleaning liquid inside all call to me “buy me, I’m green”. I admit, the marketing department of this product did it’s job! Bravo! They make the consumer feel like they are doing good by buying this green product by making it appealing to look at. There was no denying it was actually green, so they cannot even be accused of false advertising. But heck, you can make your cleaning solutions green by soaking some fresh plant leaves from your back yard in the bottle of alcohol, or vinegar to clean the house if it makes you feel like your being “green”.

“Going green” does not need to be expensive with these gimmicky "Green" bottled cleaners that many people end up buying because they are so used to the years of brainwash marketing campaigns for things like Mr. Clean and Lysol., and air freshners that are laden with chemicals. Does anyone know what a natural house smells like anymore?

Being green means getting back to the way my grandmother’s generation did stuff before the fifties, when recycled newspaper and vinegar was used on windows rather than Windex and paper towel.

An old rag, a discarded tooth brush, baking soda and vinegar and elbow grease work just as well, or better. They are much cheaper, healthier for your family, and have much less packaging to recycle. All of which give piece of mind that you know what your actually using in your home. Some people complain that it takes longer and they don’t want to use “elbow grease” because they don’t have the time. But these products on TV they show wiping way the caked on dried spaghetti splatter on the stove takes “elbow grease” anyway! They don’t wipe it way as easy as they show in the commercials. A sponge with hot water and baking soda left on the dry spaghetti sauce splatter for two minutes while you do something else will wipe away just as easily with minimal “elbow grease”, as it would if you used a spray bottle of name brand kitchen cleaner. You still have to leave it to soak in, and scrub hard to get off anyway. Don’t be head faked by these company’s marketing ploys.

For the last seven years I have cleaned the house with only vinegar, baking soda, rags, cloth mops, elbow grease and a small amount of beach or alcohol for disinfectant when need be, which I limit due to my husband's severe chemical sensitivities from his illness.

I don’t buy paper towels, or disposable duster gloves or flushable toilet bowl wipes, or special cleaning solutions for floors that spray out of a mop and throw away wet mop rags that are marketed to women these days.

Are they convenient? I guess so, but the time it take one to throw that in the garbage, creating more waste for a land fill, is the same amount of time it takes me to dump my mop water down the laundry sink, and throw my rag or reusable rag mop top in the washing machine for the next load, that I can use again and again until I wear it out a year down the road.

Being environmentally friendly doesn’t need to cost you anything, and in fact it can save you money.

A box of no name baking soda at your local large chain “no frills” grocery store costs .99 cents, a large bottle of vinegar costs about $4.00, a bottle of lemon juice costs about $1.29, and bleach costs about $1.99. Rags can be made from kids old flannel pajamas, or cloth diapers for free.

We don’t need five different bottled products to clean the different areas of the house. The marketing of “bathroom” and “kitchen” cleaners has been ripping off consumers for years, and now they are making the same specialized cleaners in their “green” lines. They all do the same thing! Shop wise!

When I use dryer sheets in the winter when I’m not hanging my clothes on the line outside to save energy, I cut a box of 100 sheets into thirds, making 300 sheets. They work just fine to keep the static cling away cut in three, and last three times as long. The added benefit is I don’t go around smelling like the perfume scented fabric sheets. Liquid fabric softener, if you use them, can be diluted by ¾ softener to ¼ water, to make your bottle last longer It still works as well to soften the clothes and keep away the static.

Often I use a .99 cent lemon laundry soap bar that I grate up and soak in a dish of warm water to make it more gel/liquid state before I add it to the laundry load, because I do not have time to rub dirty areas of each garment with a bar of soap. In a pinch when I’m out of laundry soap this is a good cheap backup option to wash the laundry.

When I do use a bottle of laundry soap, which I only buy when it is on sale, I use half the recommended amount for a load. You never need as much as the bottle or box recommends. The company just wants you to buy more of their product sooner, to keep them in business. Sure, they are going to recommend more than is required to actually get your clothes clean. It’s good business for them. I can make a bottle marketed for thirty two loads last over 60 loads! Of course, if your clothes are really dirty from rolling in the mud and catching frogs in the swamp, which is known to happen around here, it won’t last as long, but it still can be stretched way beyond the suggested amounts.

Being environmentally friendly doesn’t need to be an expensive choice in life. Make your choices wisely. Don’t be fooled by gimmick marketing and pretty packaging.

Bathtub Blogging

2008-11-26T13:35:00.003-05:00

Oh joy-laying in bed this morning rolling over to wake up to the request of breakfast by my daughter, I stretched and got a charlie horse in my calf. It has not loosened up in the least all morning,so here I sit in the tub soaking my leg in Epsom salts and flexing the muscle in hot water-hoping for fast relief so I can get back to packing the sewing room and start emptying the attic. Totally cool that I can blog from the bathtub on my cell phone though!!!

blogging from my cellphone

2008-11-25T06:14:00.002-05:00

This is my first blog from my cellphone. when we move we're going to have no internet for a few months until the wireless company who actually charges a decent price comes into our area. if your from my area don't buy KOS ISP they are a ripoff

-- mama to two beautiful kids Butterfly born 22/10/2000 & Lil' Squirt 02/02/2005 best friend & wife to my "Mr Incredible" since 10/02/1999

7 more sleeps

2008-11-24T18:22:00.005-05:00

This time next week we'll be surrounded by half unpacked boxes in our new home...unpacking stuff and getting ready for our first sleep in our own home. here's a pic from back in August when we signed the offer and it was accepted.

3 year old's Question of the Day

2008-11-23T14:33:00.004-05:00

Bupba: "Why do moons have to be here at night?" Mommy: " Ummm..well....why do you think moons come out at night" Bupba:"cause it's dark and the world needs a night light?" Mommy:"I suppose that could be why, can you think of any other reason?" Bupba:"it keeps the sky from falling!?" ( Like a button holding a shirt closed I guess he means?) Mommy:" LOL... I suppose that could be too...but....the real reason the moon is in the sky at night is becasue it is really there all the time, it is just that it is so bright in the daytime that....." Bupba:"Mommy, I'm firsty... can I have a drink of milk pwease?" Mommy:"Uh...oh.. umm ok...you can't see the moon when it is daytime, but it's there...come on let's get you some milk" Bupba:"fanks mommy"

2008-11-22T00:00:00.001-05:00

This is a test blog entry from my cell phone,some days i'll only be able to micro blog
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Sent by Text Messaging from a mobile device.
Envoyé par messagerie texte d'un appareil mobile.
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Escarolls

2008-11-21T18:02:00.000-05:00

My 3 year old son claimed to me last night that the pillsbury croissant rolls I made looked like snails all excited :)

kinda a silly thing but those are the types of silly things he says in a day that make me stop for a moment and be in the moment, and enjoy life. Hubby decided that from now on we'll call them escarolls. :)

Let's bridge the gap between parents of kids Diagnosed with Austism Spectrum

2008-11-19T18:58:00.002-05:00

In recent years parents of Autistic children have been divided into two categories. Being told their child's vaccinations didn't cause their autistic traits, or parents of children with Autism from birth being made to feel like choosing to vaccinate ( or other parental choices) caused their child's Autism.

It is time to knock down the wall and stand together, rid of the guilt one way or the other and band together.

My daughter has been diagnosed with PDD NOS, the general blanket term for a child who has autistic traits co-morbid with other combined traits like oppositional defiance, sensory integration, auditory processing etc.

She's been that way since birth. In fact it runs deep in the family DNA, so I am well assured that any delayed and selective vaccination we did with her did not make her the way she is.

However, I do not agree with recent scientific studies and claims from the medical society saying that vaccines are not causing health issues for some children that are being labelled as Autism.

I don't disagree that families are seeing a correlation between the vaccinations and other environmentally caused health issues presenting them selves as a neurological issue that can be categorized under Autism Spectrim Disorder. It is something that I've been saying for years.

The problem is that when it walks and talks like a duck we assume that it is "just a duck", but we fail to see that there is more then one kind of duck in the world.

It seems at this point in scientific study, the medical establishment is unable to call what children affected by vaccines and other environmental issues like food allergies what it really is. The families of kids with acquired autism are being told they are wrong, when the correlation is as real as you or I.

I believe that we do not know a lot about the brain yet, and it's mechanics, and therefore nothing can be counted out...I believe that yes...environmental things like toxins, and things in vaccines could cause issues that present like textbook autism.. we just don't have a name for it yet, so these kids are being labeled as Autistic.

When the parents start to change diets, and stimuli and detoxify they child's system, and there is improvement, it looks negatively on us parents with a child who have ASD from birth due to wiring. ( some days I swear If one more person tells me my kid needs to stop drinking milk and she won't be like she is I'll smother them with a cow!)

No one wins when we are not open as a society at looking at both sides of this autism coin. We are doing these children and families of these acquired autism cases a disservice by not looking at it and accepting it as a legitimate issue.

We are doing the families with children who have had ASD from birth a disservice by fighting about the "cause " of autism, and making them think they did something "wrong" in choosing to vaccinate or drink milk , or eat hot dogs, or lick the batter from a cake batter ( or whatever someone thinks is the reasons tomorrow) while we waste time trying to find a "cure" and ease our parental guilt rather then learn to adapt and cope, and live better WITH autism.

I'm not for nor against vaccinating for the record... it is a personal choice that each family must make on their own.... as a parenting team my husband and I could not agree on vaccinations so we met in the middle with the decision to selectively delay vaccinations administered individually.

It is my belief that any child who presents with symptoms or traits of autism should be tested for toxins in the system... and tried on an elimination diet etc., and if that doesn't work, it can be assumed that they were autistic from birth and should be given the diagnosis of ASD GIN ( Autism Spectrum Disorder, Genetic In Nature) , and if they respond to detoxifying the system, or diet eliminations process, they should be given the label AASD EIN (Acquired Autism Spectrum Disorder-Environmental In Nature)

Which ever form of ASD you child has, however it happened, whenever it was notice, the children are showing signs of developmental delays and have extra needs that need to be addressed. We need to stop fighting about how it happened, it just did. We need to band together without guilt and blame, and work together to give the children the best lives we can. Be it, through learning to accept and cope with lifelong autism, or while going through reversing AASD EIN.

It's time to recognize both, and it's time to stop fighting with each other.

Rock Make Up

2008-11-19T01:18:00.005-05:00

When I was 7, my best friend and I used to make our own make up. We'd take pretty colorful rocks and scrape them against other rocks to get a powder and apply it to our eyes for eye shadow. He'd take Vaseline and mix it up with berries from her grandfathers garden and make our own lip gloss. It is a fond memory I have of my childhood, and it recently came flooding back to me while in a store looking at makeup with my daughter.

She is fascinated with makeup right now, and being the cool , totally out of the box mother that I am, at 8 years old I'm letting her wear blush and lip gloss and eye shadow. I helped her pick out the colors, and gave her tips and hints on how to apply, and let her go to town.

She somehow manages to put the eyeshadow on like she is a cyclopes every time and has big blue and green streaks across the bridge of her nose! :) But, she's 8 and she thinks she is beautiful.

Some might wonder why we'd agree to let our 8 year old daughter wear make up, while I'm sure others think that we are outright wrong for doing so. It doesn;t matter to me what anyone else thinks, because it is our choice.. but for the sake of discussion...we did it for two reasons.

1. I'd rather she experiment now and make her mistakes at this age, so that when she's a teenager she knows how to put it on already and the novelty of it will have worn off by then, and she won't look like Mimi from the Drew Cary Show.

2. I'd rather she desire wearing make up for herself, rather then as a teenager because it is somehow tied to being pretty enough to attract the attention of the boys.

Now, I'm writing this because she and I have decided that we are going to experiment when we move to the new house and start making our own makeup. Namely gloss, blush and eyeshadow. The reason for this is because there is not much these days that does have "made in china" marked on it when we look at make up ( that is in our price range mind you), and with the tainted milk ( and powdered milk often being a filler in bubble baths and makeup) and lead in things these days, I'm in fear of giving my daughter lip gloss that has some sort of chemical in it that would leech into her lips and make her sick.

If we know where it came from, and what's in it, I'll feel better about it, and I think it would be a good chemistry/cooking lesson for her for homeschooling.

So my latest googling project has been to acquire homemade make up recipes and some small jars to hold stuff....things that are simple and that have easily attainable ingredients.

I think this will be fun, and I can't wait to get started :) Stay tuned ....

Cutest Ugly Doll Ever

2008-11-18T20:39:00.002-05:00

Made by my daughter, who she named "Scrumples" The world's cutest ugly doll. Made of socks and a knitted winter hat and embroidery thread, stuffed with my 3 year old's underwear for stuffing LOL And it never would of happened if I didn't have a sock box full of unsorted socks, because I never pair them. I'm not lazy, I'm supplying materials to help bring out my daughter's creativity :) Ya.. that's my story and I'm sticking to it :P

The List

2008-11-18T01:09:00.004-05:00

I'm not sure who can be credited completely for "The List", my husband or myself, but it is a little thing we've been doing when in stores, especially the toy department, ever since our daughter was old enough to say "I want this".

It was a technique we used with her to get her to be accepting of putting down something she saw and liked and wanted to play with or look at longer,and coming along with us to finish our shopping trip. Until we implemented the list, there was a lot of crying and begging, and not listening when she was looking at things. Not an uncommon sight in a department store.

Like most parents I'm sure, we dreaded the toy section of most stores...until the list.

"What is the list?", you ask.

The list is simply a page in the back of my day planner with the things they like written down on it. When I want them to come along with me and stop looking at something, I simply acknowledge what they like and write it on the list...most of the time it works, and I no longer have to drag my child through the store or confine them to the cart because I'm in fear of them hanging around and refusing to stop looking at something, and making my shopping trip miserable and last 3 times as long as necessary.

Mind you I AM shopping with kids, so they do need reminding sometimes, or they have bad days, or, it does take a bit longer, but the list has been a sanity saver for us many many times.

At one time, I had to keep a physical list, and they had to see it being written down for them to feel like they could leave the thing behind, but now, they show me something, and I say "oh, ya that's very interesting, I can tell you like that very much!" and they'll say something like "ya I really like it, can you put it on the list?" and I'll agree...make a mental note of it, or simply tell my husband, "Ok Daddy, this transformers toy is going on the list" and when he agrees with me, that is all they need to hear , and they are right beside me leaving that isle and going forward continuing on with our shopping.

It makes me feel good that although I have a list that is 25 lines long after a shopping trip, or every 5 steps down an Isle, I'm verbally putting something on the list, I have kids that are relatively compliant and are not screaming or begging for things asking why can't they have them all the time.

We have set a precedent with our kids early in life that we are not wealthy people, in fact down right poor by societies standards, and that everything that gets purchased in our home is a decision not taken lightly and one that is discussed and planned.

They see us go over the grocery ads every week to see what is on sale and what is not, and now my kids can even go through the grocery store with me and ask for something that catches their eye, and all I have to do it say " I'm sorry, that's not on sale this week, but I can put it on the list for you?" and they will most always, go" ohhh ok"... mind you it is not a cheery response, or sometimes my daughter will get mad that the store NEVER has pogos on sale, but they are not flipping out on the floor over fruit loops, or pogos like some other kids I see in the stores.

For a family that shops together out of necessity, the list is a lifesaver. The good thing about it too, is that it teaches our kids that although you might want things, you can't always get them right away, or maybe even ever, and that it is ok to desire things, but not to lament over them. It teaches them to acknowledge the desire for something, but t not let the desire eat them up emotionally and let it consume them. Once it is on the list, it is no longer an issue, or a source of suffering emotionally, over something they can't afford.

It doesn't hurt to let them see your list either. Tonight, I put a pair of dressier winter boots on my list. It would be nice to have some nicer boots then the mucking around boots I have now. I looked at a conservative pair for $14.99 My daughter immediately brought me a "nicer pair" that were $34.99 and I told her they WERE nice, but that I just wanted a relatively ok-nice then the ones I have now- pair for a cheaper price and showed her the price difference. She put them back, and was happy with the answer.

If your a parent who dreads shopping with the kids due to the gimmie gimmie's....try starting a list of your own :)

If you ask me... it's a pretty effective parenting tool.

Let me know how it works for you.

3 year olds make up interesting descriptive words

2008-11-15T18:57:00.004-05:00

My 3 yo son yesterday had an incident when he went to go potty and had the runs, which was unknown until he had an accident on the floor on the way to the washroom. He was a little upset, and called me to the washroom to help him.

"Help me mommy, I had an accident on the floor, I have dia-water-reah!"

Poor kid....I giggle at his cute descriptive explanation but he thought I was giggling at his misfortune of having an accident.

Promises

2008-11-14T15:51:00.005-05:00

So, i went to the lawyers office in town today to do some paper work for the house closing for December 1st, and while I was there I went to the No frills store to buy a block of margarine to make fudge for family fun night tonight. But when I got to the register i got the dredded"insuff funds" notice on the bank card.

With a quick check in with my hubby, turns out we only have .85 cents to our name at the moment until CTTB comes in. That totally sucks, but aside from the margarine for the fudge we were good until then anyway.

So, after discussion, we decide I'll go to A & P to buy the margarine even thought it is more expensive, and put it on the visa. So off I went... with my baking margarine in hand I stand at the counter and wait for the cashier to ring it through. She tallies up the bill, and was appalled at the price of the single block of margarine, but then even more shocked when I pulled out my Visa to pay for it. She said "really?", though not in a rude way, so I took no offense and giggled.

"Really" I answered. " My husband and I agreed we only make important purchases with the visa."

" That must be some pretty important baking margarine!?" she smiled. To which I replied " yes indeed, that's not margarine, that's a promise to my 3 year old and 8 year old for fudge for family fun night tonight."

she smiled and said "AHHHHH that's pretty important then"

I smiled as I signed my name to the slip she keeps a copy of for her records and passed back her pen, and I said..."yes...because to a child.... a promise is everything."

The older lady behind me purchasing her small order with her trundle buggy over heard the whole conversation and looked at me and smiled knowingly.

I bid them good day, smiling on my way. As I was walking away, I over heard the older lady tell the cashier "That's good family values for ya!"

How's that for reassurance that your doing the right thing? That's Attachment Parenting values for ya.

UK School Uses Hug Therapy To Modify The Behavior of Troubled Children

2008-11-14T10:46:00.002-05:00

I hope you watch this... it is sure to be a testament to the need for our society at large to guide new parents to know and use Attachment Parenting philosophies at home.

Hugging should not have been needed to be discovered as a therapy for these kids in the first place, but at least it has been, and genuine attachment and affection with adults in their lives is showing to be a positive thing to help them gain control of their self destructive behaviors.

Hold Me Tight, Let Me Go

Airs on Sunday November 16, 2008 at 10 pm ET/PT on CBC Newsworld

Acclaimed documentary film-maker Kim Longinotto (Sisters in Law, The Day I Will Never Forget) brings us an incredible film about a unique last-chance boarding school that uses hug therapy to modify the behavior of troubled children. The Mulberry Bush in Oxfordshire looks after and teaches children who have been expelled from regular schools for extreme behaviour. The three-year programme gives them the chance to turn their lives around and re-enter the regular school system.

Longinotto spends a year at the school following the progress of four charming but troubled boys. All have severe problems with anger and violence; they punch, kick, spit and curse at the remarkably patient teachers who are trained never to raise their voices and who encourage the students to express their emotions. The film compassionately captures the battle these children go through to give voice to the hurt they carry inside. It is a sensitive and heart-wrenching study of the results of family dysfunction and also stands witness to the effects-bad and good-adults have on growing children.

Mulberry Bush is not an average school. It costs 113,000 British pounds a year and is highly selective. But you don't get there by being super rich. Each child is carefully chosen and paid for by local education authorities hard strapped even to buy enough books for their normal classrooms. They pay for these children for one reason only: they have no idea what else to do with them.

This film explores the remarkable relationships which are formed between the staff and children. We are drawn into the arduous and emotionally charged process of trying to break the kids' violent and self-destructive patterns of behaviour.

Schools Fail to Educate Unless They Emulate Homeschool Learning Through "Special Classes"

2008-11-14T10:34:00.004-05:00

I read the article I've posted below, and my first response was not like most people would probably have of "well good for them for finding a way to teach these kids math". My first response was " Took them this long to figure out that a more one on one teaching method works!?"

This is a best testament that homeschooling works. When the schools and teachers start trying to create "special classes" that emulate a more homeschooling style of teaching in our countries school because the traditional ways theya re doing it now don't work, that speaks volumes.

Reported in Globe And Mail Today

Melissa Marsh is a special education co-ordinator at Gwa'sala-'Nakwaxda'xw School in Port Hardy, at the northern tip of Vancouver Island. Its students include some of the most challenged kids in Canada. Many struggle with learning disabilities, cognitive disabilities and behaviour problems. The community has its share of social issues, and parental involvement is low.

For kids like these, academic failure is depressingly familiar. "The shutdown mode comes extremely quickly," Ms. Marsh says. But now, kids at this school are experiencing the unaccustomed taste of success in a subject that far more advantaged kids have grown to dread - math.

The JUMP program, pioneered by Toronto mathematician John Mighton, breaks almost every rule of current math pedagogy. It does not depend on the "discovery" method, group work or real-life examples. It is highly structured, relies on a great deal of direct instruction, repetition and reinforcement, and proceeds in small, incremental steps.

It also works.

"Repetition is crucial for many of our students," says Wayne Peterson, the principal. He adds, "Your regular math texts have too much reading." JUMP (Junior Undiscovered Math Prodigies) is structured so that every kid can solve the problems, one small step at a time. That builds their confidence and self-esteem, and keeps them motivated and engaged. It can get even low achievers excited about math. Teachers say their math skills dramatically improve - and so does their behaviour, their levels of engagement and their attitude.

"The kids aren't fighting me tooth and nail any more," says Ms. Marsh. "They know what's expected. They have the steps set out in front of them and they know they are going to be able to achieve all of those steps. The kids in my special education class go, 'Whoo-hoo! I did the bonus question and I got it right!' One Grade 7 student has never been able to sit in math class without completely disrupting it. JUMP has changed that. Today, he participates in class discussion and does the written work by himself."

The JUMP program is now being used in more than a dozen first nations schools in B.C., as well as in many regular schools in the Vancouver area. "We found that the regular textbook way wasn't reaching all the kids," says Christine Hammond, head teacher of N'Kwala School, near Merit. The program is especially effective with her ESL students, because they don't have to wade through oceans of text. One floundering Innu boy, for example, quickly became a math whiz. The kids at her small band school are now performing at the regional average in math, she says. JUMP is also effective with adult learners, some of whom, after a lifetime of frustration, are getting their GEDs.

Liz Barrett is a South Africa-born educator who travels the province doing outreach and teacher support in first nations schools. For her, proficiency in math is a social justice issue. "These kids are falling by the wayside, and that's unacceptable. If your students aren't getting a Grade 12, the door is closed to them." She discovered the JUMP program four years ago, when she heard Mr. Mighton lecture in B.C., and became a passionate advocate. She's now helping to launch a JUMP pilot program in South Africa.

Mr. Mighton, 52, is an unusual man. As well as being a mathematician (currently in residence at Toronto's Fields Institute for Research in Mathematical Sciences), he is one of Canada's best playwrights. He got interested in math education because he thinks the state of numeracy in Canada is a disaster. Judging by the evidence, he's right. In Ontario, for example, a third of community college students are in danger of failing first-year math. Mr. Mighton also believes we must reverse the "culture of failure" that permeates math education. "There's no reason the vast majority of kids can't learn math."

Ten years ago, Mr. Mighton began tutoring inner-city Toronto kids in his apartment, with great success. The next task was to determine whether JUMP would scale up. He began working to persuade school boards, a far tougher task than he expected. But the initial results have been good. One British inner-city school district, in London, agreed to try it. At the start, the kids were performing an average of two years below the national level in math. After one year of JUMP, 60 per cent of them passed the national exams.

JUMP works for middle-class kids, too. One Toronto teacher used it with her Grade 5 kids, whose math skills at the start of the year ranged from Grade 3 to Grade 7. By the end of the year, every student signed up for the Pythagoras competition, which is written only by top students. Fifteen out of the 17 achieved distinction.

The JUMP program is founded on observation, evidence, teacher feedback, continuous improvement and rigour, combined with new research findings on how the brain learns. By contrast, most programs taught in school are not. For the past couple of decades, both math and reading instruction have been an ideological battlefield that pits the "progressives" - educators who favour good things such as discovery and creativity - against the traditionalists, who favour bad things such as repetition and direct instruction. The progressives have had the upper hand, which is one reason why JUMP has been regarded in some quarters - especially in progressive-minded Ontario - as positively dangerous. Last May, consultants with the Toronto District School Board dismissed JUMP as a form of "rote, procedural learning." In Ontario, that's the kiss of death.

Now the tide is turning, though not fast enough. Last spring, the U.S. National Mathematics Advisory Panel endorsed the seemingly obvious idea that, in order to succeed in math, children need to understand what they're doing.

But the school system is plagued by other barriers that actively discourage best practices. One is the widespread use of consultants, who often write the very textbooks they then are paid to recommend. Some teachers are heavily discouraged from using instructional methods or materials their school board frowns on, even though they work. Many schools and parents are beaten into submission by claims that certain programs are "evidence-based" even though they're not. There's a lot at stake in how curriculum decisions are made - but parents and teachers seldom have a clue, or a voice.

So if you're interested in JUMP for your kid, you may have to move to Vancouver or Port Hardy. You could also check out the JUMP website (jumpmath.org). And Mr. Mighton has written two books, The Myth of Ability and The End of Ignorance. The program survives on charitable support, and he is a more or less full-time volunteer.

"Teachers get so excited by this," says Liz Barrett. "Suddenly they've got the tools to reach the students, and suddenly they're all achieving."

Thomas Beatie and his wife are expecting a second child

2008-11-14T10:10:00.002-05:00

SOURCE: CTV.ca Thomas Beatie, known around the world as the "pregnant man" who gave birth to a girl, is carrying another child, says a report. In an interview with ABC News, Beatie said he is currently in his first trimester and his baby is due next June 12. Born a woman, Beatie underwent hormone therapy and had his breasts removed to become a man in the late 1990s. However, he kept his female reproductive organs and stopped taking his twice-weekly doses of testosterone ahead of his first successful pregnancy. Beatie said in the interview that he did not start taking testosterone again after the birth so that he could get pregnant again. He gave birth to a baby girl, named Susan, on June 29 of this year. He decided to get pregnant the first time because his wife, 46-year-old Nancy, could not become pregnant. She had a hysterectomy as a result of endometriosis. Beatie, 34, was impregnated through artificial insemination, using donor sperm and his own eggs. He has said he had a natural birth, not a C-section. Beatie has written a memoir, which goes on sale this week, called "Labour of Love." The couple also sold exclusive photos to Getty Images and were paid for their appearance in a British documentary, ABC News reported. However, Beatie told ABC's Barbara Walters that money isn't their motivation. "We've turned down about $2 million altogether from people wanting to do all sorts of things with us. But as far as you know, doing it for the fame, I have to say I'm infamous. I mean, who wants to be unpopular, controversial and despised?" Beatie has now been pregnant three times, but his first experience was an unsuccessful ectopic pregnancy, which was hampered by medical complications. Beatie has said that it was a "life-threatening event" which resulted in the loss of three embryos (he was expecting triplets) and his right fallopian tube. He made those revelations in an interview last March with The Advocate, which is a magazine for lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people. "How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible," he told the magazine. "Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am." Beatie started his sex reassignment therapy about a decade ago and lives with his wife in Bend, Oregon. The couple operates a T-shirt printing business.

The big attachment parenting question...Won't AP spoil my baby?

2008-11-14T03:43:00.003-05:00

Many new parents find attachment parenting to be a fitting philosophy for raising their baby, but when you about 7 to 12 weeks in and you're dead tired and the baby wants you every waking ( and sometimes the sleeping ) moment of the day, you start to honestly wonder if you're doing the right thing. Add to that a "well meaning" mother in law telling you you're going to spoil the baby if you keep carrying them and sleeping with them, and you can really start to waver on a decision you and your spouse were very firm and united on.

The short answer is.... No, your not spoiling your baby :) keep it up, and feel secure in knowing your doing the right thing.

The longer answer follows.....

Attachment parenting is one of the oldest ways of caring for babies, and your following your instincts, but it sounds as if outside influences have you second guessing yourself right now. holding and nurturing and breastfeeding your baby is the way parents for eons have taken care of babies, until childcare advisors and so called experts came onto the scene and led parents to follow books instead of their babies. Because of that we live in a society of people raising children in a "convenience parenting" way.. that is to train the baby to do what the parents need to remain the most convenient and non life changing to the parents life habits. They do that through emotional neglect, touch deprivation, and fake senses of security with machinery and gadgets. A multi billion dollar industry.

As Dr. Sears says, and I like to use as a way to explain to new attachment parents...Picture your family on a deserted island and you've just birthed your baby. There are no books, expert advisors, or mother in-laws around to shower you with child baby- tending advice. The baby B's of attachment parenting would come naturally to you as they have other cultures who have centuries more child-rearing experience and tradition than all of us have.

You may worry that being nurturing and responsive to your baby's needs might spoil your baby and set you up for being manipulated. This is why it is stressed that AP is responding appropriately to your baby's needs. That means knowing when to say "yes" and when to say "no." to your baby from situation to situation. Sometimes in our want to give children everything they need, it's easy for us as parents to give our children everything they want, and with that there is a big difference. But a baby at 7 weeks old is hardly manipulating you, he's just asking for what he needs to feel warm, full, dry and safe.

I always maintain that attachment parenting is a game of balance. As you and your baby grow together, you will develop the right balance between attentive, but not indulgent. An example would be that you don't need to respond to the cries of a seven-month-old baby as quickly as you would a seven-week-old baby, so you're not even at that point yet.

As your baby grows, you become an expert at reading his cries, so you can gradually delay your response. You'll know what is the "I'm bored, come entertain me now!" cry and the "There's a diaper pin stuck in my hip" cry.

Don't think that AP means that the baby pulls mommy's string and she jumps. Because of the mutual sensitivity that develops between attached parents and their attached children, parents' response time can gradually lengthen as mother enables the older baby to discover that he does not need instant gratification. Yes, you give a lot of yourself in those early months, as you are doing right now, but you get back a lot more in return in the months to come.

As an AP mom, you DO need to take breaks so you don't get touched out and begin feeling smothered by the baby's needs and everyone else's needs around you. This is why shared parenting by the father and other trusted caregivers and older responsible siblings is important.

Contrary to popular mainstream beliefs, attachment parenting is not spoiling a child. A lot of new AP parents ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby create an overly dependent manipulative child?"

The answer is simply, no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the exact opposite. Attachment fosters independence. When a young child has gone through infancy and toddler hood having had all their physical and emotional needs met, they feel safe and secure, and that generally gives them the courage they need to do new things on their own knowing you are there to catch them when they fall, literally and figuratively. With that safety harness for them, you will find that as he grows older the length of the string that connects you both, will get longer and longer even though it remains tied tight around both of your waists.

Think of attachment parenting as having an emotional umbilical cord still attached that gets longer as the baby gets older. With AP families, the umbilical cord usually always remains attached, even into teenage years, but you learn when to leave it slack or when to use it to pull your child closer to receive the support and care they need at any age. And, unlike apron strings, that society always refers to needing to be cut... emotional AP umbilical cords shouldn't ever be cut, that's when you know you've lost your connection to your child.

That's what I'd say if you asked me anyway...

You can have your schools, we're just fine thanks

2008-11-14T02:41:00.001-05:00

What does school teach about life? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And certainly nothing that I can't teach my children at home and from just living life.

Whenever I mention that we are unschooling and our children will not attend a public educational institution, people look at me with almost horror in their eyes and mention the social aspects of home schooling and say that my kids will be a recluse or shy or less able to play with other children.

Doctors, and nurses ask me all the time what we are doing to “ensure their ability to socialize and learn to play wither others.”

People see my almost 4 year old son, being shy and reserved when they, complete strangers, or people he does not know well or see often, and comment that perhaps he needs to attend preschool in order to “work that out”.

My first question is…Why is being shy or a quiet reserved person a bad thing? Why is that something that needs to be “worked out”? I remind them that my son is not unique and he’ll respond and interact however he feels comfortable and I won’t push him.

It is amazing the just because we homeschool, they sct like this is a unique issue and a problem that public schooling will solve.

My husband is shy… and he’s 40 years old. Seems like school didn’t solve it for him, Is he a case of shyness that slipped through the cracks in the public education system? I think not.

There are thousands of children in the public education system, that are shy and reserved. Sitting in a class of thirty other children does not make them un-shy by any means.

If anything, it stands more to reason that being in a class of other children who have the opportunity to pick on them for being pointed out as shy and one who needs to be dragged out of his shell, would make matters worse for them. Stressing an extremely shy child in such forced social situations can cause a lifetime of anxiety for a person. It is certainly not good for a child who is seriously shy to be taught being shy is wrong, and forcing them to interact when they don’t want to.

I love that people can use shyness as an example of a reason to not home school when they have no clue what your child is like in the first place. My daughter is certainly not a reserved child, and in fact is the social butterfly of the neighbour hood, being called on by the neighbour children at 3:30 when they get home from school.

I have asked people what kind of social skills they think my daughter is missing out on by me not sending her to school when she hits that “magical learning age of five”

I have received responses like:

“How will she make friends?”

“How will she learn to play fairly and share?”

The fact is, from what I have seen and experienced, she would likely only miss out on things that are not generally needed in life. Like needing to ask permission to be allowed to listen to her body’s cues and go do a natural bodily function, while learning what it is like to be humiliated in public because it is because she has to ask in front of her peers. This can be embarrassing, especially when a child’s trust in their own perceptions needs to be approved by a teacher first, not to mention, teaching kids that adults don’t trust you and your ability to judge for yourself, if the teacher refuses and you really need to go, and I turn creates a lack of trust in adults with the child.

I have literally seen children pee their pants because the teacher did not think that the third kid to ask to go to the washroom in the last twenty minutes really needed to go!! PLEASE!! They all just drank a juice box at recess time; of course they have to pee.

My children would miss out on having their creativity handed to them in a coloring page, and a pre decided, pre cut color and paste craft, that will be critiqued if they color the picture the “wrong” colors. They would miss out on their imaginations being squashed because the teacher thinks math is more important right now then wondering where butterflies come from.

Looking back at my own report cards from as far back as kindergarten, they all say in the “concerns and comments” section, that I was too much of a day dreamer and needed to be told to get back to work on a regular basis. One teacher even went as far to call me a “spaced out child”, because I was more interested in looking at the bugs and worms outside on the ground, or the birds flying by the classroom window. “Sapced out was the 1979 term for ADHD I guess.

I was reported in Kindergarten for being “too interested in playing house” and not using the blocks more, and was actually punished with no play time in the dress up, play house area, until I did at least 10 minutes at the blocks and 10 minutes at the chalk board for free drawing. I kid you not!!! I remember being worried that I’d fail kindergarten if I didn’t comply and grit my teeth though forced chalk board free time. I also remember the next terms report coming home and it being detailed at how I either was successful or needed improvement at being “well rounded in my play”. I apparently painted to fast, and didn’t put enough detail into my drawings, and I was too wrapped up in playtime to stop playing dressup and houe to go out for recess.. How completely asinine!!!

Funny how today I’m a mother and a wife “playing house” and I seem to have no lack of ability to play with building blocks with my son, or stacking the wood. I have the ability to put down the housework and go have some fun for a short time, and..funny enough I STILL hate the feel of chalk dust in my hands.

I don’t want my child’s interests to be pushed aside, and have her be told that her imagination is not important. I don’t want her chanstized for not being “well rounded enough” because she has a genuine interest in something she is good at or enjoys doing. I feel that can greatly effect ones self-esteem negatively.

I always wonder who decided that all children at the age of 5 and 6 needed to be more concerned with math and the alphabet, then whatever interests them at that age. I know as an adult I do not learn on someone else's schedule. I learn as I find I am interested in it.

The day that all adults /governments/school systems realize that children are people too, and are to be cherished and loved, not controlled and told when to think what, and when to think it we will have a wonderful world. The day that home schooling is the norm and the majority, is when I will breathe a sigh a relief, but sadly, I know I am not likely to see that day in this lifetime.

So, maybe my child would not learn how to stand in a line? That seems like a big concern and something schools teach children right? Teachers or obsessed with lining up for everything. Stand in line for the bus, stand in line for the bathroom, and stand in line for the basket ball in gym class. Stand in line to leave a classroom for lunch. Schooled kids are like trained seals who line up at the clap of a hand or the sound of a bell.

Someone actually told me that once! That my kid would not know how to stand in line in real life if they didn’t go to school, and that standing in line teaches them patience.

Really!!??

It does?? Well then the lady that works at Wal-Mart who was on a break shopping and butted in line in front of me the other night because she only had a few things, must not have gone to school! I thought she was just a rude person, but I guess she was just ignorant ( not aware).

I’m not kidding, as she was butting in line, without actually waiting for the answer, she said ” You don’t mind if I go ahead of you do you? Thanks so much” and had her stuff on the belt, cashing out, before I could blink.

She had two less items then I had, and she didn’t even wait for my response, because she wasn’t expecting one. She expected that I’d comply to her “request” ( read demand) without complaint.

My response was “No, I guess I don’t mind at all, since you didn’t wait for a response and are already there!” she didn’t even LISTEN to me, and was off chatting away to the cashier on duty, so I was essentially speaking to no one. My husband was enraged! I just shook my head. Another great example of the school system at it’s finest, putting out thoughtful, patient, well-rounded people into the world.

I am amazed that people cannot see the things they do in normal life that are life lessons so much more then sitting in a class room and all listening to one person call the shots. When I was told that my kids needed school to learn to stand in line, after the laughter, I responded with, “Well, I guess maybe a bank would be good enough to teach about standing in lines, don’t you think?”, and “Oh, and what about the grocery store, the doctors office?”

The thing about lines in school is you all have to stand in a pin straight line behind the next and are not allowed to turn around and talk to someone you know. Is that natural?

I ask you... When was the last time you were in a bank and saw the line be perfectly straight? NEVER. But gee, everyone knows who is first, and when their turn is don't they?

Looks like the teachers were wasting our time teaching about lines, or they should have admitted in the first place they were not doing it for our benefit to learn paitence; they were doing it for their own benefit so they would not have to deal with children actually being children and human.

I have yet to see someone who saw a friend or neighbour in a store and didn’t talk to them, because they were taught in school that when your in a line you need to be quiet.

Can you just imagine this conversation?

You: "Hi Ril! How have you been!? It’s been forever, how are you keeping? How’s the kids!!?" Me: "Shh, don't you know we are not supposed to talk in line!!!” then, a quick glance toward the cashier, to make sure they didn’t catch us, and, “I'll call you later, shh before we get in trouble!! The cashier might see us!"

I don't know any time in my life since I have been released from institutional schooling, when I have ever spent five days a week in a room with thirty other people my age, or was expected to, and I certainly don’t know how that at any point in my schooling years, taught me valuable social skills that I used as an adult when I worked with mentally handicapped adults, or visited elderly folks.

About the only social skill is taught me was how to pass the notes discretely and not get caught or it would be read out loud to the class. School also taught me how to not show people that I was different or unique, because I would be picked on for it.

Great set of social skills. Don't be yourself, lie and be sneaky!

I have worked many jobs since I graduated from school at 18, and none of them required sitting in a room with people of the same age or skill level. As a matter of fact, like you, I’m sure, the jobs that I held, had so many different ages/races/religions that I learned more about the world and people's cultures then I could have from any book, that it was amazing. I did not read about other countries and cultures, I experienced them and talked to people of that culture and learned so much and made friends. Tasted their foods, watched their traditions and asked questions out of genuine interest. That, in my opinion is a far greater lesson then writing out on a piece of paper where India is, and its population, and passing it in to a teacher to grade.

If I wanted my child to be told what to do constantly and to conform to someone else's ideas of the world I would sign them up for the armed forces. In my opinion, not even I feel I have the right to impose my own beliefs and feeling on my children. We try to set things up for self investigation for them, and plan to allow her to be exposed to as much as possible so she can make her own choices, as far as careers and religion goes, later in her life.

Schools do not teach social skills, at best (or is that at worst) recess and lunch hours do, as limited as it is. That alone should clue our society in to just how our schools are failing to teach life skills. In the meantime, until they figure that out, they are only now reporting on national Canadian news that our schools are failing to provide adequate education to our children, who are graduating well under grade level for reading and math skills, and are struggling in the real world due to it.

Africas

2008-10-30T18:26:00.000-04:00

LOL. My son never fails to amuse me with his cute little speak. Tonight he is calling dried apricots "africas" "Mommy, me and my puppy ( stuffed dog) am eating africas cause they make our froats feel better" ( he has strep throat right now, and looking for anything to sooth the soar) so cute.

Exciting News for Us!!

2008-08-29T13:35:00.000-04:00

I thought I'd write a blog entry and let everyone know about our amazing news!!!

We bought a house! Now I know everyone buys houses every day, and that might not seem like a big deal, but the circumstances surrounding the purchase are amazing and if it were not for good karma and good people, this never would have happened.

DH's aunt has been trying to help us buy a house now for over two years, and due to circumstances that are too long to explain, we were chopped off at the knees every time we found a house we thought we could get due to CMHC saying no, because of a house DH owned with his first wife over 15 years ago. It foreclosed while it was still in his name as they were separating, because she took over the house and was supposed to be buying him out, and didn't.She just let it foreclose and vanished into thin air.

Anyway, to CMHC DH is "high risk".. not sure how long they hold stuff over your head like that but seems like forever at this point! and since CMHC has right of first refusal for mortgage insurance.. all the other ones declined as well. ( What the point is of the others, I'm not really sure anymore!)

Anyway....back to this house.

I've been taking DD7 to a market at a small village close to here every Saturday morning to sell her photography on notecards we've been making and just LOVE this little village. They have a small fair day every year, and it is a very quaint village/hamlet here. It reminds me very much of the place I grew up in Cape Breton, which was also an old milling village ( grain/grist mills)

We've spent a fair bit of this summer fishing out of that mill pond and enjoying BBQ dinners on the sore of the pond, and walking through the village just enjoying the tranquility of the place, saying things like " it would be so nice to live here, too bad there is nothing for sale"

Anyway, at the market, Dh told me to get to know the locals and ask about rentals and properties for sale around because we really need to get out of this house for His health and also for all our sanity.

So I did what I do best... I made friends with everyone, and chatted and talked a bit and discovered that a house that I noticed before in July and only passed by due to it being out of our price range, was no longer "on the market" and was owned by a local winery and that they house the farm hands there in the summer and it sits empty in the winter, and he was interested in selling it because he was building bunk houses on the vineyard due to the price of gas now and didn't want to pay to shuttle them from the village out to the feilds daily anymore after this year. Though the listing had just ended and they were waiting to re-list it, I was told who the real estate agent was, and I was assured that I could probably offer much less and that it would likely be accepted.( small town gossip)

I got the info and called the real estate agent, and made arrangements to go see the house.

I should have said that a week before this DH's Aunt called me with the name of a mortgage broker who thought she'd be able to help and that by now after a year of jumping through their hoops CMHC would not be an obstacle. Had I not known about her as a contact I might have over looked the house completely, but I figured what could it hurt.

We put in an offer, and after a stressfull week of waiting to hear we were declined by CMHC AGAIN! :( I bawled my eyes out!!!!! I didn't know what to do...this house was PERFECT for us and was meant to be and I could SEE us living there and making a life there and the kids growing up there and even see our future grandkids running through the house there.....it was that strong a feeling in me.

Against the advice of DH, who is ever the "realist" ( but I call jaded due to the crappy hand he has been dealt over the years) I wrote the real estate agent an email. Before this happened we agreed to go with him as the agent rather then bring in our previous agent from last year on it, because it was going to be a straight forward purchase and I just got an uneasy feeling when I thought about going with her, and I could feel good vibes from this real estate agent.

So I wrote him a letter after we were declined and told him we had been declined and why, ( though I had warned him from the beginning that it could be a possibility as it was in the past) and I told him how I felt we were right for that home and I JUST knew it was meant to be ours.

I told him how DH got sick, how it has affected our lives, what it means for us daily, and how it plays on the kids and the family emotionally, etc, and told him every way I could see that this house would make DH's quality of living 1000% better. And then I asked him if there was any way he could go and present a vendor take back mortgage to the owner. ( the seller holds a second mortgage we pay for a period of time until we can get a conventional mortgage)

He wrote back and said he wasn't sure if it would fly, but he'd give it his best shot. I told him I'd appreciate him just asking for us.

He wrote back and asked me a bunch of other questions about insurances, afford ability, etc, and I was upfront with him and honest and broke down our finances for him and explained in detail how we as a family of 4 live off of 3000 dollars a month and how we COULD afford this home. He asked for some references and called them and confirmed we've never been late for our rent ever, have always maintained our utilities bills, and even called around the community to a good friend & a past neighbor who ran the advertising department at the newspaper who he dealt with for his real estate ads, and possible future neighbors I had met at the market and DH's Aunt who he knows from the bank ( in a small town every one knows everyone) to see how they felt about us. Everyone apparently gave "raving recommendation of approval" for us to be homeowners and said we deserved it more then anyone they know!!

After all of that, the real estate agent took this info to the Owner, and he apparently felt so moved by our circumstances and our determination to not let it beat us down in life that he offered to do a vendor take back mortgage for us AND knocked almost $20,000 off the price of the house!!!!!!!!!! So we can have this house paid for in 15 to 20 years, not 40 like we would of had to do if we had of done a conventional mortgage!!! I was shocked...it turned out that the real estate agent and the Owner went to school together, and the real estate agent brought it to him, and that made it easier to fly, since the agent thought he should do it. The agent also waived ALL his commissions on the sale as his "gift" to us!!!!!

When the real estate agent called us on our 10th anniversary and told me this I started bawling my eyes out!!!! my neighbor heard me as I was sitting on the front porch on the phone and thought someone had died!!! She asked if everything was ok, and I shred the news with her, and she was extatic for us and we hugged and cried too! Then I ran upstairs where my DH esentially lives in this house due to his inability to use the stairs well, and told him and he started crying in shock, disbeleif and amazement. We hugged for like 15 minutes!!!

As we were getting ready to head out for our Anniversary dinner ( that we really could not afford but were going to do anyway and just be minimal) the agent called us back and said that dinner was on him and go and enjoy. When he had called to tell us the news, he asked if I was busy and I had mentioned the place when I said we were just getting ready to go out for dinner for our anniversary. He called ahead and had it paid for!)

DH is so happy and excited, the kids are excited but as normal kids worried about making new friends and leaving behind old ones though we are only moving 11 klm away.

So, we signed the deal yesterday and it is official, we bought a house... and we move in late November/1st December when the picking is done and the workers vacate the house.

So let me tell you why this house is perfect us and was meant to be.

The house is an old bakery and is over 108 years old - I was a cake decorator in my former life ( before kids that is LOL, and do some decorating on the side for the community) and I worked in a bakery in my early 20's. My mother and my grandmother were bakers/cake decorators.

The bathroom is on the main floor, and has a deep whirl pool bathtub, and DH will be able to start his daily hydrotherapy when we move in!!!!!

The kitchen is HUGE, which I have always loved and wanted!!Being from teh east coast the kitchen is the hub of the home.

We can make the living room into a master bedroom easily for us so DH can live on one floor of the house, and we can make the house easily wheelchair accessible in the most likely event that will one day need to use a wheelchair and or a walker.This house will allow us to live independently until we are either no longer living in our old age, or they need to drag us out of it to a nursing home because we can't take care of ourselves anymore.

The house had three bedrooms upstairs and we can put in a washroom upstairs for the kids and company with relative ease, the kids will have a room each a and a study for homeschooling and crafts etc.

The downstairs has a nice sitting area with a wood stove off the kitchen we can use as the family room since we'll be taking over the living room as our bedroom.

The yard is fully fenced in. So no more anxiety for me with the kids playing outside and me needing to watch their every single move in this crappy neighborhood we are in now. There is a workshop on the property big enough for DH to have a private work shop where he can arrange all his tools so I won't be tripping over them anymore and he can go there and use and when he gets to tired can just leave them where they are, lock it up and go for a nap and then go back to later. It will give him purpose again in life!

The additional area of the workshop was an antique showroom and is nicely laid out to be able to make a photography gallery and studio for all of us and For DD7 who is gaining publicity for her art in the county, and we can sign on to be a part of the art gallery tours in the summer.

We can literally spit on the post office as it is next door to us, the library is right there, and the mill pond DH has been fishing in all summer is right across the road! we can easily put the canoe in the pond without strapping it to the roof and wasting precious energy on going to the water to canoe for a little while.

If ANYTHING was ever meant to be, this was!!!!!

Anyway we are MAJOR excited and feel so blessed by the love and kindness of strangers we have had in our lives, and I wanted to share that with you all, and thank you for your unending moral support

My son, the future doctor.

2008-05-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

I am overflowing with mommy pride right now cause my 3 yo son just told me he wants to be a doctor who helps people when they are sad when he grows up :) he’s so sweet. and that suits his caring, and helper personality so well.

minnie miny mo

2008-05-22T22:21:00.000-04:00

my 3 yo son is sitting here singing…

“minnie minnie miny mo, catch a tigger by the toe, minnie miny miny mo”

my 7 yo daughter is trying to correct him, and he’s insistent he “wikes it de way it is!”

I just found out my husband is a polymath!!!

2008-03-12T22:19:00.000-04:00

oh man!!!! there is an actual real definition for a know it all!! :P

my husband is a polymath!

Polymath From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search Leonardo da Vinci is regarded in many Western cultures as the archetypal “Renaissance Man”. Leonardo da Vinci is regarded in many Western cultures as the archetypal “Renaissance Man”.

A polymath (Greek polymath?s, ?????????, “having learned much”)[1][2] is a person with encyclopedic, broad, or varied knowledge or learning.[3][4][5][6][7]

The dictionary definition is consistent with informal use, whereby someone very knowledgeable is described as a polymath when the term is used as a noun, or polymath or polymathic when used as adjectives. It especially means that the person’s knowledge is not restricted to one subject area. The term is used rarely enough to be included in dictionaries of obscure words.[8][9]

Renaissance Man and Homo Universalis are related terms to describe a person who is well educated, or who excels, in a wide variety of subjects or fields.[10][11] This ideal developed in Renaissance Italy from the notion expressed by one of its most accomplished representatives, Leon Battista Alberti (1404–72): that “a man can do all things if he will.” It embodied the basic tenets of Renaissance Humanism, which considered man the centre of the universe, limitless in his capacities for development, and led to the notion that men should try to embrace all knowledge and develop their own capacities as fully as possible. Thus the gifted men of the Renaissance sought to develop skills in all areas of knowledge, in physical development, in social accomplishments, and in the arts.

Yep… my hubby is a polymath. And I mean that sincerely, he is a genius, literally.

which can be helpful and a great resource when homeschooling, but it can also be hard to live with…when he uses words I don’t know.

hotmeal & jackethouse

2008-02-08T22:18:00.000-05:00

kids are the cutest when they are learning english :)

Just a few mentions of the things Bupba has his own names for at three years old

oatmeal is “Hotmeal” housecoat is “jacket house” doctor pepper pop is “doctor office pop” vitamin c is “vitanim seed”

Forever I’ll be a Mama of Two

2008-02-07T22:16:00.000-05:00

Well, after three years of holding off to be sure, talking about it and thinking about it, and then making a final decision, and then waiting on getting an appointment for the procedure, we had decided to make being a mama of two a permanent thing. We decided that I’d get my tubes tied. Hubby has CFS and heals very slowly even from minor cuts and scratches, so we decided it was best that I “get the snip”.

Today was the day….I was up early this AM had to shovel 25 cm of snow out of driveway to be able to get to the hospital :( Got everybody ready and drove to to the city (an hour way)…got to hospital for 12:30…checked in, waited until 2:30… they had a decent private waiting room for people with kids that Hubby and the kids got to use alone for the whole duration of the hospital stay, had loads of toys and videos to watch so they watched a few movies and played…we got a free parking spot right by the front doors so we didn’t want to give it up, so that all worked out well that he didn’t need to take them anywhere to occupy them for 5 hours… got in the OR and was put under at 3pm….did the thing…woke up at 10 after 4… in recovery until 5, the crappy part was it happened during shift change, so hubby was beside himself with worry because no one gave him updates cause I think he got lost in the shuffle and the family room door was closed and “out of sight, out of mind” happened…he was getting nervous after 2 hours of no news.

They took me to the out patient post op admit and recovery area where they were in the family room and before they even went in to get him from the family room, he knew I was there and came out (energy is an amazing thing and we’ve always had that sense about each other’s presence)…

The kids were happy to see me! :) Bupba yelled “Mommy you home!!!” all excited, to which I replied.. “Yes I am bud, cause I’m here with you guys!” The nurses thought that was sweet LOL…got my vitals checked and the kids got stickers for being so good :)

Then I got up almost right away and dressed asap ( going slow), Anjohli wheeled me to front door of hospital LOL… then we went to Swiss Chalet for supper on gift cards from family (went there ’cause they have soup)…felt fine no sick feeling from the anesthesia or anything or shoulder pain so far… just been peeing like crazy from the IV fluids.

I was STARVING by 5 with no food since midnight the night before!….had the soup and half a sandwich and is was good!

I feel ok when I’m sitting or lying still, hurts a bit when pain meds wear off…stopped at Wal-Mart on the way home to pick up pain meds, thought I would walk slow and be ok, but thought better of that after a few minutes in the door and the pharmacy being at the opposite end of the store…so I got a powered cart to sit on… so with that felt good enough while sitting to pick up a few other things we needed and had been going without (stayed for about 45 minutes.. a short visit for us to a Wal-Mart…got out of Wal-Mart to meet the weather really coming in…second band of the storm started when we were eating dinner…

Hubby drove home in the heart of the storm, could hardly see in front of the van all the way, but no one else was on the road either, so that was good. He’s a good driver, was a taxi driver at one point in his life and has driven in every kind of weather going. But still, I was very alert while he was driving worried about his pain and exhaustion level, so I couldn’t rest in the car much. He doesn’t drive ever.. that’s the first time he’s driven that distance in like 4 years due to the extreme cramps he gets in his arms and legs and ribs from holding himself in that driving position for too long.

We got home at about 10:30 pm, from needing to drive slow… and we missed the ferry by 3 seconds and had to wait a half hour for the next one to get back onto the island that is the county… I coached the kids to put themselves to bed (WOOHOO) and laid down from 11 to now…hubby changed my dressings, and now I’m down stairs thawing soup for him cause he’s just exhausted.

Will be going back to bed as soon as the soup is finished…I feel ok…just slow response time from the anesthesia still. Going slow from sore stomach muscles and taking just Tylenol and or ibuprofen for pain as needed.

The Hospital seems like a great hospital…one of Canada’s top teaching hospitals. I told them that I was most nervous about the moments of going under the general…everyone was great… bedside manner was outstanding. The team all introduced themselves prior to going in the OR, and even the doctors used first names, not ” Hi I’m doctor so and so…” it was ” Hi I’m Peter…I’m the OBGYN we met a few weeks ago…good to see you again…” and ” hi I’m Joan, I’m your anesthesiologist…” they were all comforting and kind, they obliged answering my silly questions about them feeling on their game and had all had a decent lunch and good sleep the night before etc :) they were aware of my general anxiety issues…and the male nurse was great , he was from Cape Breton and when he asked me to visualize my vacation I wanted to go off to I picked to go visit Cape Breton, and he was really cool telling me to visualize CB on the map, and then to see the Cabot Trail, and that when I got there he’d meet me at the Red Shoe pub for a pint LOL… he did this while I was breathing in the mask to go to sleep, I felt the coolness of the anesthesia go in my IV in my hand and tasted it a bit in my mouth (kinda weird… I can still taste it a bit) and closed my eyes listening to him tell me this stuff, so he took away all my anxiety with his visualizations guidance, and I just let it come over me, and the next thing I new I was awake in the recovery.

Bupba thinks my belly button has a booboo and needed to be “sixed by de doctor office.”

I’m resting for the next few days for sure.. and I don’t care about the 40 cm (literally, it’s drifting) of snow in my driveway right now, I’m not going anywhere for a while. It can stay there. Or perhaps the wind will stay around after the snow stops falling and it will drift right back out.. one can always hope :)

clock in the mornin’

2008-02-06T22:13:00.000-05:00

Bupba is 3 now…and he just make my heart swell with his cute little sayings and actions.

yesterday for no reason , he came into the kitchen to tell me he loved me , then went bouncing right back out as quickly as he came in.

But the cutest thing he does these days, is how he says what time it is in the morning :)

he woke up this morning, and he sat up in bed and looked at me, asking why I was in his room.. I told him we had to go into the city today.. he looked at the window, and said ” oh, it’s ‘clock in the mornin’ me can get up now?

he’s just too darn cute :)

New Family Member

2008-01-08T22:02:00.002-05:00

Posted By PolarBear

Since we lost Sunbeam on December 24th, things have been a little sad around here. Almost daily the girl has reminded us one way or another about our missing friend.

A few days after he died, we began looking into getting a new boy budgie. We were trying to get one from our local pet store, who brings them in quite young from a breeder, but she was not able to get in touch with him. Missing Sunbeam was making the girl AND her Dad pretty sad, especially when the boy calls every bird he sees “Sunbeam”.

We had to make an unexpected trip to the city today, so we decided to take a look around the pet stores. We’d looked before and they hadn’t had any young birds that looked healthy enough to me, and the healthy birds were too old to start taming with much hope of anything other than a “might sit close to you” bird. But today, I think we got lucky.

At the same pet store where we got Raindrop, our female budgie (who is notoriously cranky and not very tame), they had a mixture of birds that looked anywhere from 8-9 weeks to 6 months old. One of them was an alert, curious little Yellowface blue that appears to be male to me (only time will confirm this but I hope he is). Now, I wanted a white bird that was very different from Sunbeam but Mama really liked this one and thought he was “friendly”, and since she had been the person who had called my attention to Sunbeam a few years ago, I went along with it. He’s not especially fancy and he isn’t going to produce interesting hybrids if he and Raindrop breed, but although he is one of those “Bin-O-Budgies” parent-raised never-tamed birds who chomped down on the clerk when she took him out of the cage, it looks like he might work out OK. We got him around 1pm, and by the time we were home at 6:30pm, he was taking seeds from my fingers - not from the palm of my hand, but right from between my fingers. Assuming it is not because he is ill (which is a slight possibility in my budgie experience), he is a very personable bird.

I only hope that we can have him as tame and friendly a companion as Sunbeam. An added bonus would be if I could finally teach a budgie to say more than one word. After watching some Youtube videos of some very well-trained and talented budgies, I have some hope!

So here’s a pic of the new boy - his name is Horizon. Yeah, I know, I am never going to be able to get him to say his own name…

First Time on Skates

2008-01-02T22:08:00.000-05:00

I am sure most everyone has seen it but the boy went skating for the first time, and we have video of the whole family skating.

It’s on You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JoghXKnGaY&eurl=http://www.holyjumbo.ca/momnpop/archive/2008/01

Sadness- A tough lesson in life

2007-12-24T21:49:00.000-05:00

Heartache by PolarBear

We are all very upset today. Our wonderful budgie friend, Sunbeam, died. He was the tamest I have ever been able to get a budgie. We actually got him as a family Solstice gift in 2004. Now, barely over 3 years old, he is gone.

For the last year he and his partner Raindrop have been my constant companions in our bedroom. I had stopped closing their cage door unless we had to have the house doors open. Sunbeam would sometimes wake me when I was napping or even in the morning by hopping out of his cage and landing on my head and lightly pulling on my hair. I was never able to teach him to talk, but he was an astonishing mimic, often playing games with us by imitating the sounds of the phone or the microwave and seeming to chuckle when someone came running to find out what was happening.

Looking back on the last few days, I think he was trying to tell us he was not feeling well even though he showed no serious signs until just yesterday. He had been extra affectionate a couple of days last week, and would not leave my shoulder. One morning he kept coming out of his cage and sitting on my leg while I was sleeping. I was worried I would roll over on him so after putting him back 3 or 4 times I closed his cage door until I was ready to get up for the day. It seems like he was trying to tell me something was wrong.

We tried so hard to save him. There is no vet that we could take him to anywhere here, and we wouldn’t have had the money anyway, so I had kept him warm and hand fed him mashed-up seeds and tried to get him to drink juice and water. At first he would take a little and seemed to be getting stronger, but finally he just refused.

I sat beside him all day long, watching him in his cage. Finally he got too weak to hold on to the perch and I caught him before he fell. I held him close for another hour until he finally breathed his last in my hand. When he died, we all cried, but me and the girl cried the most. The boy didn’t entirely understand and thought we could put new batteries in him.

Up at the top is a picture I made of him when he was a few months old. I took a photo and processed it digitally to look like a painting.

We’re really going to miss him.

Things I Never Thought I'd say

2007-09-13T21:46:00.000-04:00

Ever notice how being a parent makes you say things you NEVER thought you would say? Today, we had one of those moments. There is not a lot of explanation required except to say that our two year old took off his diaper and was running around the house. And i heard myself say:

“Don’t be putting a clothespin on your penis.”

There are so many other things like this that happen. So many of these are so embarrassing that you almost hate to talk about it but… these are things I never thought I'd have to day

“Why did you put the air freshener up your nose and get it stuck?”
(At 2am) - “You had your time to play with Mommy. Now Daddy wants to play with Mommy. GO TO BED!”
“Get that toy away from your crotch. Your vagina is NOT a parking garage.”

I can’t think of any more right now, but I am sure this is a post open to future revisions!

Fun Stuff

2007-07-10T21:44:00.001-04:00

By PolarBear

We’ve been doing a lot of work making a garden, including one for the kids. Using the “Square Foot Garden” technique there is a 3×3 foot section of garden especially for them, growing cherry tomatoes, little cucumbers and all sorts of stuff.

It has been a lot of work but is educational for everyone… this is an all new technique, but it has been very exhausting since I can only put in an hour or two a day so it has taken what seems like forever.

Now, because we’ve been working on the garden something else got neglected - the front porch. It didn’t get any attention so some stuff just sat there, including a box with some pieces of rag and the silly girl’s purse.

Tonight, MamaRil finally started tidying it up since the garden is almost “done” (it will never be “done”, but almost all set up). When she picked up the box with the purse she heard noises inside… and buzzing. She got a little nervous, worried it was wasps and dumped it out on the front lawn.

It wasn’t wasps - it was a nest of bumble bees! Just a tiny little nest with a little queen and a whole bunch of the tiniest bumble bees you could ever see. Well, all I knew about bumble bees is that they don’t make honey and they pollinate EVERYTHING. So I checked things out online (the internet is great!) and we all learned a lot.

Tomorrow, we are building a new home for our bumble bees (hopefully they will stay around). We’ll put it in the back yard near the garden and hopefully they’ll help pollinate all our plants. Cross your fingers that the bees stay!

Today Our Baby Boy Is A Kid

2007-04-19T21:40:00.001-04:00

Posted by PolarBear

We’ve gone through some huge changes in the day. Or specifically, last night.

The boy has learned some new skills. He is developing a huge vocabulary and is able to say many words clearly. So, his ability to communicate has increased by leaps and bounds. That’s not the big thing that came to a head last night, though.

In the last 10 days he has shown huge growth in 2 areas:

He has figured out how to open doors. It wasn’t consistent at first, but now he is able to open any door he wants to any time he wants to.
He figured out how to get out of his crib.

This came to a peak last night. When he decided he didn’t want to go to bed, he figured out that he could just get up, get out of his crib, open his door and leave his room.

It is a huge milestone, because since he can now:

talk
get anywhere he wants in the house
control whether he stays in bed

He is officially a kid, no longer a baby. You can’t put him anyplace and expect him to stay there any more. He has always been an escape artist when it came to high chairs, booster seats, strollers and so on, but now the last place he could be put is ineffective. No more making him take a nap. The only place we can keep him in place is in his car seat in the car. I sure hope that he doesn’t start unbuckling himself anytime soon.

We need to take his crib apart and set up his toddler bed, and we are going to be on the lookout for bunk-beds for his room. Last night, the only way to keep him in a space was to let him go where he wanted to go: to sleep with his big sister in her room. Although they stayed up pretty late, he didn’t come out any more. Mama thinks he’ll be sleeping there tonight, too.

We’ll see.

I for one am sad that we don’t have any more babies. They grow up so fast.

OUCH

2007-02-07T23:36:00.000-05:00

Written by Polarbear-My hubby

Oh what an awful evening.

The girl decided that, in spite of catching crap for it every time, she could jump up and down and dance on the couch. We were upstairs and heard a crash, and rushed downstairs to find she had bounced herself right off the end and through the top of the glass end table.

Mama grabbed her foot, which was bleeding, while I went hunting for a towel. I had Anjohli get down on the couch, which she was already bleeding all over, and had Mama raise her foot above her heart and keep pressure on it. After a few minutes of pressure, I took a look at things and decided she was probably going to need patching up. I told Butterfly we would have to go get stitches or maybe just steri-strips put on it at the hospital so they could make sure there was no glass left inside. She burst into tears and said she was scared of stitches and she didn’t need the hospital. I told her, they might even just glue it or something but I wasn’t sure, but I was absolutely sure she had to go to the hospital.

We got the bleeding virtually stopped and while Mama prepared the vehicle and got the boy into his seat, I consoled the girl. I then asked her if she wanted a picture of her toe so later she could show people what happened, and she thought that would be cool. I took a picture of the cut on her big toe for her… and here it is.

She didn’t want to go to the hospital but I scooped her up in my arms and carried her out. 6-year-olds are heavy, I’ll tell you… I cradled her in my arms all the way to the hospital, and by the time we got inside to the triage nurse, she was actually quite calm. Of course, we had to get in the car and drive through a blizzard and all she had on was a dress (and her coat) , with no shoe and no way to put anything on her, so she was a little chilly. She lay down across a chair with her toe up, and after 10 minutes they brought us around to treat her “Level 4 laceration”.

As usual we ended up waiting in the treatment room for about 40 minutes before anyone looked. A really nice resident finally came in and gently checked over her toe, cleaned out a few remaining bits of glass, irrigated the cut to be sure and asked the girl if she was tough enough for some stitches. He then said, maybe we can get away without stitches and asked Butterfly if she would like them to glue it instead. He asked his attending to look at her toe and he agreed it was a wound that was suitable to glue. So, the opened up the Medical Krazy Glue and stuck her toe together, put on some steri-strips to strengthen it, and put on a really nice dressing.

We finally got home around 9:40pm after picking up some frozen pizzas, since the whole evening had been more or less absorbed. The doctor had told her to stay off her toe, but as usual with kids, as soon as we were home and safe she had to start walking around all over the place. She is supposed to keep the dressing on and stay off it for 48 hours. We may have to tie her down tomorrow.

Anyway, we are very glad it wasn’t worse… it could have been really serious if she had landed differently, so we were all lucky. Good thing the only permanent damage is the end table, which has 3 levels and the top one is now in a million bits in the garbage.

She took some kids’ acetaminophen and has finally gone to sleep. With everything going on the stress level is really high here right now, so it is a relief to be getting to bed.

Last Nursing

2006-10-17T02:37:00.000-04:00

Well....Bupba is weaned...Not by his choice, but by mine. He is doing pretty good with it, he only has asked a couple of times and I have just offered hugs and kisses and cups of milk or juice. I decided with my doctor to wean him so I can start a new medication to help with my ADHD. Over 2 years of scatterbrained days is quite enough for ALL of our sanilty's sake.
We had our final nursing session the other day on the couch. It was nice, a peaceful moment between us as every one else was still sleeping. I grabbed the camera and took some photos of us with our last nursing to have them to remember our wonderful 20 months of breastfeeding.
Just wanted to share it here. I'm still feeling sad that we ended it now, but I'm feeling sastified with our 20 month run, and that we both ended it on a positive note. He is such a sweet child.
This is my favorite picture of the photos I took.

Reach For The...

2006-09-17T18:46:00.000-04:00

Sun... Flower! The only one of our 5 sunflower seeds that we planted grew into this! I don't know if there is enough time to get very many seeds before frost comes, though.

Harvestin the goods :)

2006-08-28T01:45:00.000-04:00

The first "large" harvest from our garden.

Happy Birthday Mom

2006-08-28T01:33:00.000-04:00

The summer seems to have just flown by! But it always seems to be the end of sumemr for me after my birthday.. We had lots of fun all July and August so far...with beach days, playing in the backyard on the slide, guided walks in the parks, exploring life and the world around us, we have not had any time to stop and blog much at all.

The kids are getting old enough I have upgraded ( or down graded, I'm not sure?) to being called "Mom" they grow so fast!

My Birthday was on the 13th of August, and the boy fed me cheerios by hand ( and 18 monther's version of breakfast in bed) and Butterfly made me a cake. Her very first, of which she is very proud, as you can see by the smile in the pic below.! I did the gathering of ingredients and she did all the work ( aside from hot oven stuff)
The result was a delicious lemon poppyseed bunt cake with lemon icing, topped off with 32 sprinkles just for me :)

Helper boy got in on the action and licked the beater :)

It was a good birthday :)

Onyx & Diamond ~ March 17th - June 1st~We miss you

2006-06-02T01:56:00.000-04:00

We Only Wanted You They say memories are golden well maybe that is true. But, we never wanted memories, we only wanted you. In life we loved you dearly, In death we love you still. In our hearts you hold spaces no other could ever fill.

So new to the family we were unable to take picture of Diamond, our pure white, ruby eyed, Gerbil. Onyx, above was our black beauty. We will miss them both. Loved and missed as well by Topaz.