Overwhelmed with love

I'm sharing this here because I want the world to know how much I love my husband. Honey, I have wanted to tell you just how much I love you so many times in the past week, since our son's birth, but it seems I can never find the right words, or just when I think I have built up the courage to tell you, I lose it again. Or I can't find a way to put it in words, or without bawling my eyes out. I know I should not need courage to tell you how much I love you, but I do, one of my silly little things from my childhood that holds me back I guess. I love that you were so strong for me during the baby's birth and that I could count on you when I needed you the most. All the other stuff doesn't matter, 'cause the only one I paid attention to and who mattered to me was you. I'm so sorry that your in so much pain now from his birth, due to your illness. I know your in a lot of pain and tired a lot, an I undestand why that would make you crabby. I'm sorry I get snappy or crabby and bitchy with you, but please, please, please know that I am here because I love you and I need you in my life too. I guess I get that bitchy because I feel safe with you. I have never felt safe before in my life, and that scares the crap out of me, because every minute of the day I expect something bad to happen to take that away from me. Even with all the thinsg in our life we deal with that are less than perfect, I LOVE our family and our life and I am so scared that I could ever lose that. I love you more than I am ever capable of showing you, and I'm sorry that it seems that I can't but I am trying. Thank you for our son, he is the most beautiful little boy in the world and I hope he grows up to have your morals and family values and strength of character. I LOVE that he has your brow :) - in case that was missed in my ribbing. Thank you for loving me even when it is hard or impossible to do so. You're the only person in my life who has never given up on me, and we both know there are times when you should have. I love you eternally & forever.