Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year

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Saturday, December 03, 2005

Aren't all Buddhist 'SUPPOSED' to be Vegetarian?

I had a conversation about being Buddhist and NOT being a vegetarian recently with an online friend. She asked why I chose not to be, and this was how I explained it to her.

Just sharing in case anyone cares to read it.

Yes, many Buddhists are vegetarian. I often get people asking me how I can claim to be Buddhist but still eat meat. Let me be clear: there is nothing in the sacred text or writings of the Buddha that says a Buddhist HAS to be a vegetarian. I don't follow a particular sect of Buddhism, I follow the eightfold path and read the dharmapada and follow Buddha's teachings, as they are sound wise ways to lead your life in my opinion.

Vegetarianism came about over time due to some Buddhists feeling all life is sacred and not wanting to kill any living being, and feeling that they could eat sufficiently and healthy by omitting eating animals. The truth is, all things we eat are alive at one point or another and have a life force even if we don't understand it or dismiss that lettuce is alive for example. Herbs and plants that give us nutrition are alive, and their interactions with our bodies create a relationship, so we should be just as humble about eating a tomato sandwich for the tomatoes and the wheat and live yeast organism than rose the bread with which we place the tomatoes on, as we would if we were thankful for the tuna fish who gave his life, if we ate a tuna sandwich to nourish our bodies (which are our temples in this life). It is important to understand that the main idea of Buddhism is not that there are "deadly sins" or irrevocable wrongs, but that things must be done for the GREATER GOOD. There is a balance to everything, including the concept that under certain conditions we (as societies or individuals) may have to kill. If the choice is to end one life to save a hundred, ending that life would be for the greater good, karmically speaking.

In order for me not to kill any living organism, I would have to cease to eat and therefore cease to live myself, and that is harm to a living being as well (harm to our own self is just as "un-Buddhist" as it is to harm another being). As a Buddhist I believe the all life is sacred. Be it a lady bug, a leaf on a tree that is alive, the bacteria in my yogurt or a human being. Who am I to choose which life is more important? The life of a cat is just as important as a worm's life, or as a person's life, and being a Buddhist, that worm could be a reincarnation of my brother who died at 32 or my grandmother who died at 88. If I would treat them well in their past life in which I knew them, then I will try to treat all living things well, because they (1.) deserve it, and (2.) could be someone who might be from your past interacting with you again.

We come in contact with all other living beings for a purpose, nothing is fluke or chance in life. Karma sets it in motion our life before we are even born, and I know each and every person in my life for a reason. As a "good" Buddhist, it is my responsability to interact with all living beings that I come into contact with, as I would wish to be treated. It is funny but a saying that Dr. Phil has is very Buddhist like, "You are either contributing to the relationship, or contaminating it". As a Buddhist, I work very hard to remain mindful and try to make sure (not always successfully) I am contributing in a good way to all relationships in my life. even with my food. My greatest weight loss has come since I became Buddhist. I still struggle, old life habits are hard to break, and the life I led up until I became a Buddhist was not conducive to eating healthy or just for fuel for my body. I know that this lifetime is not my last lifetime and I have many more lives to be reincarnated and experience before I ever reach Nirvana.

I may seem like I'm getting off track or "preaching", but it is all connected, and I only explain because you asked, I wish not to "convert" or convince anyone. I respect everyone's choice to chose and have their own faith.

So, rich people sleeping in their silk PJ's and flannel bed sheets tonight are no more or less important than the poor man on the street tonight, cold and hungry, searching for shelter and food. And a cow is no more or less worthy of being saved from death to nourish me then the lettuce growing in the garden. Sadly society in general does not understand this concept, and many vegetarians who chose to be so they are not killing animals, don't realize they are killing everything they eat, no matter what - unless they have found a way to survive by eating sand.

Society sees the rich man as more important then the poor man. A baby who dies is mourned for longer and harder then the old man who suffered with alzheimers for 10 years, and died scared and alone in an old folks home, with no family around him, because his family went on with their lives when he got ill, simply because society thinks that becaue he had more years on earth. His life is somehow less worthy of mourning than the baby who died without pain, in the arms of their loving mother suckling at her breast, as she slipped away from a birth defect just 12 hours after they were born.

As I mentioned, as a Buddhist, I believe that the soul of a worm could very well be a reincarnation of my grandmother, that a cow may very well be the soul of my reincarnated brother. All Buddhists believe it in varying degrees, but we do still eat meat. Mainly because of what I just explained above, if we are eating a living thing regardless of what we choose to eat, eating fruits and veggies over a cow, is no more or less unkind.

In many places like Tibet, where Buddhism is a very predominate faith, they can hardly even grow vegetables due to climate and soil composition, and have goats and other livestock to raise for eating and for their milk. They can hardly grow enough vegetables and beans etc to survive off them solely, and therefore have diets very rich in meat.

Our family is very conscientious of what we eat, and include other sources of protein such as lentils and legumes, eggs, peanut butter etc. But, they all still are a living thing that was harvested, created, or killed to allow us to eat it. We also eat about 1 to 3 vegetarian meals a week depending on how we feel and how time allows, and use very little meat when we do eat meat, but mainly for health sake and to be dollar wise.I can make two pounds of ground beef into four meals. We eat fish and tofu and TVP, largely as well.

We are very consciously aware of the lives that are lost for us to eat, and we bless the souls that gave their lives to nourish our bodies every day. We also thank the earth for growing the plants we eat and the sun and rain for nourishing them as well so that we may obtain life energy from them. It is that living being's karmic "destiny" to be chosen to be eaten, as it is beleived that everything we experience in each of our reincarnated lives is a life lesson we need to learn for past things/wrongs we have done, in order to bring us to enlightenment (in laymans terms like Buddhist "heaven") Buddist's beleive that we are continuosly reincarnated until we reach a state of complete enlightenment and goodness and purity and lack of all want and are then passed on to Nirvana, which is like another realm, where we no longer need a physical body to contain our souls and we are released from the earth bound existence for eternity as energy (Kind of like the movie Powder if you know it).

So...A tomato grows… we pick it, it dies, from the moment it is plucked from it’s vine it begins to decay and die, become wilted, redder. How do we know it does not have a soul? I and many other Buddhists do believe that it does have a life force, and that soul that was reincarnated into a tomato, was destined to become a tomato and be plucked and eaten. The tomatoes on my vine that I forgot to pick and got mouldy and rotten off onto the ground, also was destined to become THAT tomato. and it still had goodness in it's life even though many see it as a waste, it nourished the ground that it fell onto, and will help the tomotoes next year grow. It was Karma, and the cycle of life.

Many do not know that Buddha himself was not a vegetarian. Through the stories and accounts of his teachings written and passed down through the sacred texts by Buddha's followers, it is believed that he actually died of food poisoning from eating bad pork. He never had an animal purposley killed to nourish his body, but he did not turn away food offered to him by kind people on his travels and teachings. Very often he ate meals of the meat variety, but he had to know that the meal was not made for him specifically, or he would not eat it if an animal had been sacrificed specifically for him.

If I am invited to someone's house for dinner as a special invite, not just invited to stay because a meal was near taking place, and they ask what I would like, I ask them to make whatever they were going to make for themselves anyway, not to buy or make anything special for me, so I am not requesting the death of anything.

Some would say that I am not a true Buddhist for eating meat, each sect of Buddhism has their own reasons for certain beliefs, and many I do not personally agree with because they are not the teachings of Buddha but rather religious dogma accumulated over the centuries. I far more believe that what makes a person a Buddhist is the kindness in their heart and following the eightfold path rather than what they put in their stomachs, to nourish the body.

When I first found Buddhism and realized it’s teaching was truly how I felt in my heart, I had a large struggle with eating meat and feeling like I was going to be forced to give up meat. Feeling terrible for my eating meat and enjoying it, and not wanting to give up a steak meal or a pot roast, that I do enjoy on occasion, I sought answers from more knowledgeable Buddhists. The following really helped me see that it is not what I put in my mouth but how I act in life that will make me a good or bad person.

The following was an excerpt from a website that no longer exists. Sadly, because many Buddhist work for no pay or for charity, many Buddhist web pages have come and gone in the past 7 years I have studied and followed Buddhism, due to lack of funding to keep them going.


1) Buddhists should be vegetarians, shouldn't they?

Not necessarily. The Buddha was not a vegetarian. He did not teach his disciples to be vegetarians and even today, there are many good Buddhists who are not vegetarians.

2)If you eat meat you are indirectly responsible the death of a creature. Isn't that breaking the first precept?

It is true that when you eat meat, you are indirectly and partially responsible for killing a creature but the same is true when you eat vegetables. The farmer has to spray his crop with insecticides and poisons so that the vegetables arrive on your dinner plates without holes in them. And once again, animals have been used to provide the leather for your belt or handbag, oil for the soap you use and a thousand other products as well. It is impossible to live without, in some way, being indirectly responsible for the death of some other beings. This is just another example of the First Noble Truth, ordinary existence is suffering and unsatisfactory. When you take the First Precept, you try to avoid being directly responsible for killing beings.

3)Mahayana Buddhists don't eat meat

That is not correct. Mahayana Buddhism in China laid great stress on being vegetarian but both the monks, laymen and women of the Mahayana tradition in Japan and Tibet usually eat meat.

4) But I still think that a Buddhist should be vegetarian.

If there was a man who was a very strict vegetarian but who was selfish, dishonest and mean, and another man who was not a vegetarian but who was thoughtful of others, honest, generous and kind, which of these two people would be the better Buddhist?

The person who was honest and kind.


Exactly. One who eats meat can have a pure heart just as one who does not eat meat can have an impure heart. In the Buddha's teachings, the important thing is the quality of your heart, not the contents of your diet. Many Buddhists take great care never to eat meat buy they are not concerned about being selfish, dishonest, cruel or jealous. They change their diet which is easy to do, while neglecting to change their hearts, which is a difficult thing to do. So whether you are a vegetarian or not, remember that the purification of the mind is the most important thing in Buddhism.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Somebody's Hero

I heard this song on the radio last night while washing up the thanksgiving dinner dishes.

I'm going to get a shirt that says keeper of the cheerios

it is by Jamie O'Neil

*"Somebody's Hero"*

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building She's never rocked Central Park to a half a million fans, screaming out her name She's never hit a shot to win the game She's never left her footprints on the moon She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride, around the world, No, she's just your everyday average girl (but)

She's somebody's hero A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee A little kiss is all she needs The keeper of the cheerios The voice that brings Snow White to life Bedtime stories every night And that smile lets her know She's somebody's hero

She didn't get a check every week like a nine-to fiver But she's been a waiter, and a cook and a taxi driver For twenty years, there at home, until the day her girl was grown Giving all her love to her was her life's ambition But now her baby's movin' on, and she'll soon be missin' her But not today, those are tears of joy runnin' down her face

She's somebody's hero A hero to her daughter in her wedding dress She gave her wings to leave the nest It hurts to let her baby go down the aisle she walks right by Looks back into her mother's eyes And that smile lets her know She's somebody's hero

Thirty years have flown right past Her daughters' starin' at all the photographs Of her mother, and she wishes she could be like that Oh, but she already is

She's somebody's hero A hero to her mother in a rockin' chair She runs a brush through her silver hair The envy of the nursing home She drops by every afternoon Feeds her mama with a spoon And that smile lets her know Her mother's smile lets her know She's somebody's hero

-- mama to two beautiful kids "Butterfly" born 22/10/2000 & "baby boy" born 02/02/2005 best friend & wife to my "Mr Incredible" since 10/02/1999

Thursday, October 06, 2005

"geek girl"

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my daughter being a nerd for the camera, she is such a ham! I can;t beleive my baby girl will be five soon!

My baby boy

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Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Duties as flower girl complete

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After the wedding party exited the altar, DD looked to me for approval to follow behind. In an attempt to catch up, she ran with all the exuberance and excitement she shows in her everyday self :) I captured this moment as she tried to catch up with the wedding party.

The G Force

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Hubby was a groomsmen in his younger brothers wedding on Saturday. The groom is the one third from the left. Hubby is the handsome one on the right end with the goatee :)

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Flower Girl in Waiting

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Terry Fox Run

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After watching the Terry Fox Movie on tv last week I decided that after 15 years since the last time I participated I would enter the run and get some pledges for Cancer research. IT was a wonderful thing to do, and it made me feel good to do it. As we sang "Oh Canada" at the opening ceremony, I looked at the banner ( in the picture above) of Terry Fox and thought about how young he was and the courage he had and how he fought hard to run acoss canada. I thought about my aunt who had her breast removed from cancer last year, and is fighting and beating it, and I thought about my sister in laws mother who passed away suddenly from cancer just two months ago. My eyes welled up and I choked up and could not sing the whole anthem. Cancer touches everyone, whether you know someone with it fighting it, or who has lost thier lives to it, we all know someone. 1 out or 4 canadians will develop cancer, and that could be you or me someday. If you have not given to the Terry Fox run by donation or by running , you can make a donation online at the link above in the title " Terry Fox Run". I raised $19.00 today in my run and short time getting pledges,not much but as Terry once said, "Every penny counts." The run location I was in today raised $31,000 this year, and raised over $220,000 in the 24 years thay have had it here.
Next year I'll get more donations and run again. The Organization worked hard to keep administrations costs low via volunteers where ever possible, to ensure 87 cents of every dollar goes right to research. ( unlike other charity organizations who gough the donations and pay thier staff $200,000 plus a year.) To read more about Terry Fox and his dream and his fight with cancer you can go here

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Day in the life of an unschooler

Image hosted by Look at that ask me why I unschool...go ahead ask me.
This picture says it all, no need to really say more, but I will.
The day before yesterday we went for a nature walk, to get out of the house, for fun and for an unschooling feild trip.
On our nature walk we discussed lady bugs,life cycles, the food chain, stick bugs ( which we are making a new home for here at home in a terrurium), looked at different plants too samples home to study more, explained what poison vs "eatable" means, explained how to study a plant to tell the difference...picked some sumack berries to take home to make a sumackaid with, walked along the shores of the lake,looked at the sky, discussed the clouds, picked rocks, took pictures of a butterfly, saw a deer, the list goes on...
Are you still asking me why I unschool? No kid will EVER experience all the lessons we did in our 4 hour walk, stuck in a classroom of a stuffy school inhaling dust from a book that laid on a shelf all summer, asking for permission to go to the bathroom, and being told to be quiet so as not to disturb the others.
Don't ask me why we unschool... THIS is why we unschool! this is my daughter's classroom :)


Our baby boy has cut his first tooth! at 6 months old, normal I suppose, but his big sister never got her first until she was 11 months old!
We can't get a picture of the actual tooth yet cause it is felt more than seen right now.
but here is a cute one of the boy in all his glory :) He loves his walker so much, he can scoot around the house faster than me!
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I don't care what the govenment says, walkers are not danergous if you keep them on the first floor of the house and watch what your kiddo gets into. It is sad that we as a human reace can be so stupid about child safety that we need rules to save ourselves from ourselves like banning walkers and talking about banning bathtub rings.. :) i got one of those too, and we love them, because we KNOW THEY ARE NOT MEANT TO BABY SIT OUR KIDS! we know not to walk away.
ok anyway this was supposed to be a post about my cute baby boy, not a rant on government passing bans and stupid people :)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005


A beautiful monarch came fluttering by on our walk, Hubby decided to try and catch it on film... after 10 minutes of following it around the air it landed on this tree. Beautiful picture hon.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

oh me, oh my, I'm glad we took the excursion around the bay

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a great birthday!! We went to an outdoor concert at a festival of a town about 45 minutes from our place, right on the St Lawrence River ( Famous Canadian River). We went to see Great Big Sea, not sure if anyone is familiar with their music, but they are one of my MOST favorite bands. They are from East Coast Canada ( NFLD) and sing lots of great original stuff and traditional scottish/folk songs as well, songs that I grew up with, listening to at kitchen parties every weekend. They are a great live band. I had seen them in concert before But Hubby had not and when we saw they were going to be playing on my birthday we made sure to get tickets to go.
The kids were free as it was a festival concert outdoors, so that was great too. Ap parenting can sometimes mean we don't get to do lots of things we'd like since we rather take the kids with us than have them sat. The kids had a great day as well. We went for the day, saw a train show and road a mini real coal fired steam engine train ride :)
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then had a BBQ in the park with our little habatchi, and then went and got settled for the concert. Hubby had a great time and the KIDS SLEPT through the whole thing practically. That was great because I got to stand and dance through the whole hour concert! Everyone was boogying. I got a work out let me tell ya... my arms are sore today from so much clapping and my legs are hurting from the dancing in spot to the great music.
They are so great you cannot help but clap hand snap finger, jump up and down and just lose yourself in the moment!
Hubby could not dance because he is too sore from his disability most of the time, but he sang right along with me and clapped his hand when he was not busy taking 150 pictures of the band doing their thing :) greta pics too, may post one eventually.
Then we drove home late in the night just talking while both kids slept some more :)Save for a bfing stop weake. The drive to our new home was so quiet and nice, on the back country roads, no busy highways and other cars to contend with, just the moon and stars and us on a windy country road :) we even have to go on a ferry ride to get to our new home if we go off the island, ( we COULD take the bridged road but the ferry is more fun.)
I LOVE it here so much. the house is still a mess after a HORRIBLE MOVE that I won't go into right now, and spoil the nature of this post, but I love it here.
Thnaks hubby and kiddos for a great day :)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Look at it fly!

Time that is....
August alredy, where did our summer go, we spent most of June packing, and most of July unpacking, and we stilla re nto finished!
Tomorrow is my birthday and next week Hubby and I will have been together for 7 years!!!
JareBear is already 6 months old!!!!He's eating solids and on his way to a real crawl already. it is really bitter sweet though, he's so funny and such a happy baby, I love every moment, and want to see the next milestone, but at the same time I just want him to stay little forever. If could pick any moment to freeze in time I would pick when he is in bed at night and rubs my cheek, face and breast while he nurses. he makes such lovely sighs of delight when he is finished and I could watch him sleep forever. I just love those moments.
It goes by too fast.
Butterfly is making her own sandwiches and geting her own milk from the fridge, and is growing up so fast too. before I knwo it she'll be wearing makeup and being interested in boys! YIKES.
Stop the spinning of the eath on it axis ( spelling?) and let us stay in these moment forever!!!!!
Quote of the moment:
I could stay awake just hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment with you is a moment I treasure.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing.
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing.
~Aerosmith, Don't Want To Miss A Thing.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

"no-puke" pills

So within the hectic-ness of moving, the u-haul truck needing to be picked up in a town and hour away, one of the helpers becoming totally rude and saying pretty hurtfull mean things to me ( while others told me to suck it p and not say anything about it because he would never appologise), then neeidng to rent a second truck; the first truck catching on fire on the side of the road being driven by said rude helper, a 5 hour wait for the tow n the side of the road which made him that much more happy i'm sure, arguments with a friend when we got here about the rude helper when hubby found out about things,and who seems fine with leaving things as they are...our 4 year old daughter got sick the day after we got here and has been running a fever and puking every day since. We got to tour the local ER departmetn at the hospital on the saturday after we moved since it has been 5 days of her being unable to keep much of anything down. Unless we timed her liquids to a tablespoon every five minutes she would throw up. Some of it was purley psycological ( spelling?) due to being afraid of throwing up yet again ab causing it to happen by obsessing over it. Yesterday after she threw up when she took a tiniest bite of a hamburger she requested and never even got it past her teeth, I started thinking maybe we needed to psyc her out. so i went to the pharmacy and bought a pack of citrus mentos candy and put it in a bottle, and told her it was no puke pills and they tasted like vitamin c, she just needed to chew the medecine out of them and she would not get sick again,and since she has taken one every 4 hours, she has not gottne sick. The fever is lower but still present , and she is as crabby as a bear, but at least she is keeping down food today. in the meantime we are slowly getting unpacked and sorted from the move from hell.

Friday, July 01, 2005

oh my dog!

hehe, dyslexics everywhere will be confused. tonight while buying room darkening blinds for our new place my 4 year old daughter saw something she thought was "so cool" and said " OH-MY-DOG,that is SOOOOO cool" like a 14 year old LOL. the dog part was funny,made hubby and I laugh. But it make perfect senseand I think given that I don't beleive in a god ( Buddhist) and I was raised catholic and always heard and adopted the phrase "oh my god", i will now start saying "oh my dog" :) Thanks sweetie :)

Monday, June 27, 2005

apparently it makes green

at dinner the other ngiht the resturant agve my daughter three crayone, yellow, blue and red, the primary colors. I explained combined colors and primary colors to my daughter while we were waiting for the waitress and she was impressed, I asked her what color blue and yellow made- she took the crayons and colored yellow on her menu in a small dot then colored over it with blue and looekd at me very seriously and said.." apparently, it makes green" in a " gheeeze mom don't you know this stuff already!"


Giggle, I'm still chuckling at my 4 yo DD's counting of some change she found on the coffee table :) a penny, 2 dimes, a quarter and a loonie ( canadian dollar coin) were sitting there and I asked her how much money it was, she coiunted eac coin very carefully and looked at me and sais, "it's 5 money bucks" very proud of her efforts :)

7 more days

packing sucks, the heat sucks... we've got 7 more days to get this place packed up and get moved to our new home in a new town 2 hours away. I packed up most of the bathroom and kitchen today and yesterday, but most of the food is still in the kitchen. need to pack that up tomorrow, the whole living room is an total didaster and if you could see it you'd see how overwhelming it can all be. Still have some sewing to do , but I guess now I am putting that off until we move. sigh...

Monday, June 20, 2005

Happy daddy day

Today was father's day, We started it off by driving back into the big smoke to exhange a phone we bought, we ahve been playing with them a bit since we got home and the intercom works great, can;t wait to use it for the new place ( oh ya We're moving, didn;t mention it here yet I don't think) gonna have 4 bedrooms and a upstairs so we need the intercom for sure. Went to my first quarter horse races ever with Hubby and the kids for a fathers day treat. then came home and made supper,w as craving onion rings cause we could smell them at the track so did that, gave hubby supper in bed as he laid down for a nap adn the kids gave him the gifts we snuck out to buy while he was napping. ( a compass keychain and a wallet with this picture of the tree of us blow in the previous post, in the pictures spot in the wallet.) After supper drove off to PP for a drive and played in a park, though the DD is grounded we gave her a repreive from it for an hour or so. Drove along somemore and hubby took some nice photos of a steel dragon we saw on a driveway gate. I think it was a nice day, I hope he thought so as well. Happy fathers day to all you dads out there.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Big sister

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Big sister gets to sling baby brother for the first time. he was happy to just hang out and suck on his fingers, cooing. A beautiful moment I'm glad hubby captured.

my boy

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Thursday, June 09, 2005

I have a cool breastfeeding hubby

Image hosted by I was in HomeDepot on Monday looking at weed whackers and lawn mowers with my husband.We need one for the new place we are moving into.
My 4 month old son was getting cranky, obviously hungry. As per the usual, I tried to walk and get him to breast feed but I was using my new mei tai carrier, and I cannot Bf in that darn thing since my DS likes to lay sideways to feed.He doesn't like feeding sitting up facing me,so due to the awkward way my son way laying and his heaviness I had to sit to feed him.
Never one to "cover up", as I am very open about Bfing and I could care less what people think I always just walk along and feed him. This usually means people do not notice us Bfing much as I am just "shopping with a baby in my arms",and I am long gone down the isle before anyone realizes what I am doing.
In the weed whacker department off a beaten path I sat on a garden bench set up for display and happily fed my son as my husband and I discussed the horse power in gas vs rechargeable in electric whackers. I was in a one piece bathing suit due to our current heat wave and so I zippered down the front about an inch and released one breast for my sons meal.
Well, I got my first EVER negative comment from a complete stranger. A woman no less, in her mid 50's If I had to guess being kind. ( probably a formula baby and mother)
I had noticed her walk by me silently 5 minutes prior, and then as she walked back again with the flesh of my d cup right breast exposed, but my son sucking on my nipple so it was completely covered. She said " THAT IS GROSS!" to which I replied, " If you don't like it don't look", at this point my husband realized she was speaking to me,and turned to witness the rest of the interaction. She then, as she continued to walk away with her silent, straight faced husband ( speeding up his pace), said " That is ABSOLYTLEY DISgusting!!", to which I replied, "Oh bite me" in a sarcastic tone. ( not the most intelligent response, but I was momentarily taken aback by her rudeness and her audacity to deliberately walk back past me to say something, rather then find another isle to avoid me.)
Now some of you may not know but my husband is disabled and walks slowly at the best of times and uses a cane. I have never seen him move so fast, he said to me " I'll be right back" and he was off.
This is the part that makes it a great story!!. He FOLLOWED her to the paint department half way across the store and watched her talking to her husband, and walked right up to her, tapped her on the shoulder, and when she turned around startled he said, " I think YOU'RE Pretty disgusting!" and turned around and walked back to us to tell us what he did and kissed his breastfeeding son on the head.
He was very upset and said, " noone is going to tell my wife that feeding my son is disgusting and get away with it" so he figured that perhaps he embarrassed her enough that she'll think twice before she says something to any other Bfing mom again.
Three cheers to my breastfeeding husband ! :)


Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Inner Child... come out to play

One afternoon a few weeks ago, while out for a walk, I was letting loose and playing with my daughter. Little did I know, but my inner child came out to play too. Not until I saw this picture shot by my dear hubby did I even know she still came out to play. I have not seen her in so long.
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I love how my husband caught her in this picture with my daughter on her back as they played piggy back from a tree they just climbed.
I vow to let her come out and play more often, she needs it.

Shadow Names

I remember the day my daughter discovered her shadow for the very first time. It was April 5th 2001. She was about 6 months old sitting on my husbands chest as we played in bed playing with her. The lamp cast her shadow on the wall and she was delighted with her.
Image hosted by DD in her crib play area at about 6 months old.
It seems like dear daughter has played with her shadow ever since that day she discovered her, so it suprises me that I never thought of shadow's name sooner.
recently at the park we were talking about DD's shadow coming out to play with her and I asked her what her shadows names was and she told me Gawk. Now I thought Gawk was her imaginary friend , not her shadow, so out of the blue I took DD's name and put the letter backwards and pronounced it and told her her shadows names was that. She was delighted!
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Now we all go around talking about our shadows and their names and DD thinks this is just great! She talks about her shadow all the time now, pointing her out to me.
If your name was David for example, it would be DIVAD, and if it was Paul it would be LUAP, or Anne would be ENNA , or Nemo would me OMEN :) Shadow names, juts a small thing that makes me smile in a day.

Poop Day

Everyone thinks that when you become parents you start making friends with other people with kids because you can't go out with your single friends like you used to. They say it is because you no longer have time for the dinner parties and friday night movies and discussing it at the coffeeshop until 4 am afterwards. But that is not the truth.
Parents seek out other parents as friends once they BECOME parents, because thereafter your life revolves around poop.
They gotta poop. so, you gotta talk about it. "Did he just poop", "it smells like it?" "No?" "OMG baby you SMELLLLL!!!!!!!!!" (waving hand in the general direction of the child's bottom.) "It was just gas?" "He takes AFTER YOU!!!" "Did he finally poop?" "Yes?" "How's the poop?" "A lot of poop?" "The color of the poop?" "The baby pooped yesterday!" "Honey, come and look at this poop the baby did!" "It's poop day today!"...
Your friend has a kid close but younger in age to your kid and you start comparing the poop or giving poop advice. "Wait until he starts eating SOLID FOOD!" "OMG Stinky poop?!?!", "You'll be thankful for the good ole breastfeeding days, let me tell ya!!" "Oh my son's poop was bigger then that!!!" "One time, my daughter pooped in a resturant and it slid out the diaper onto the highchair and all over the floor!!!" "We never went out on poop day again!!!" (True story, BTW. My poor BIL never went back to that resturant! Don't buy Walmart brand disposable diapers, and yes I use them on occasion to go out, beats carrying peepee cloth dipes around in my bag in the hot car)
Now, I know some comediam already said this and probably much funnier than I am saying it ( me thinks it was Paul Reiser perhaps? I dunno), but it is true, and you cannot stop, and you don't stop either. It has been 4 years and I talk about poop every day! more then once a day!!!
You know your a parent when.... someone asks what you did today and you answer, "Oh the baby had the best poop today!!!I had to even give him a bath!He was covered in it"
My son is a baby who gives me such stories to tell. My daughter now 4 yo, also has given me such stories to bore my fellow poop talking parent friends ( see "poop parade" blog entry in archives)
So, for whatever reason, my children only pop every couple of days.Seems tobe their schedule, not a problem, just them.
When my daughter was a baby I could tell when her poop day was about to arrive. She'd get cranky and fart all day being gassy, and then WHAM, on day 5 like clock work, the titanic of diaper loads. She'd have the greatest sleep after her poop day too!
So, naturally when my son was born and he started to exhibit the same type of pooping pattern I started paying attention, figuring I could figure him out as easily if not easier, after all I ahve 4 years of poop experience under my belt, a few more years and I could be a doctor or baby poop.
NOPE, I thought today was going to be poop day, but he suprised me 20 hours early and pooped last night just before midnight. He was the usuall gassy bum, and crabby self, he wanted to be comforted, so between nursings he sucked on a soother ocassionaly dipped in some corn syprup ( don't even email me OK, have children as gassy and smelly as mine with terrible tummy aches and then come back and tell me that corn sypup is bad), it helps sooth his stomach and you can't feed them gripe water all day long or let him nurse all day long , I'd be as big as Dolly Parton with engorgement for supply and demand!)
Though I cannot figure out his exact days yet ( or perhaps he won;t ahve a certian number of days as my daughter did, I do know his pattern when he is about to poop. A cranky day or two, filled with pockets of green gassy air whafting from his diaper from the farts, vigerous sucking on the breast most of the day, corn sypuped soother and gripe water in between.
If is he farting at a rate of about 1 every 5 minutes, We are getting close to the zero hour. If I give him gripe water wit 1 every 5 minutes on poop day and then he has two boobs, he'll likely poop within a half hour sititng in my arms while being burped.
He caught me off guard yesterday and when I went to change his wet diaper I got a poo suprise!
I had to even give him a bath!He was covered in it!!
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Not the same poop day, but all smiles after a poo a week ago or so.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

maybe he wants a bagel?

We just got home from seeing the Robots movie, and it was cute, I really enjoyed it... anyway DD is on the couch playing with the baby and she stuck her ear in his face and he started to suck on it (he's 6 weeks today). She laughed and told me he was silly, I asked her why she did that and she said she was trying to hear what he was saying. When I asked her what he was saying she replied in a small voice for the baby "I want a bagel" LOL

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Overwhelmed with love

I'm sharing this here because I want the world to know how much I love my husband. Honey, I have wanted to tell you just how much I love you so many times in the past week, since our son's birth, but it seems I can never find the right words, or just when I think I have built up the courage to tell you, I lose it again. Or I can't find a way to put it in words, or without bawling my eyes out. I know I should not need courage to tell you how much I love you, but I do, one of my silly little things from my childhood that holds me back I guess. I love that you were so strong for me during the baby's birth and that I could count on you when I needed you the most. All the other stuff doesn't matter, 'cause the only one I paid attention to and who mattered to me was you. I'm so sorry that your in so much pain now from his birth, due to your illness. I know your in a lot of pain and tired a lot, an I undestand why that would make you crabby. I'm sorry I get snappy or crabby and bitchy with you, but please, please, please know that I am here because I love you and I need you in my life too. I guess I get that bitchy because I feel safe with you. I have never felt safe before in my life, and that scares the crap out of me, because every minute of the day I expect something bad to happen to take that away from me. Even with all the thinsg in our life we deal with that are less than perfect, I LOVE our family and our life and I am so scared that I could ever lose that. I love you more than I am ever capable of showing you, and I'm sorry that it seems that I can't but I am trying. Thank you for our son, he is the most beautiful little boy in the world and I hope he grows up to have your morals and family values and strength of character. I LOVE that he has your brow :) - in case that was missed in my ribbing. Thank you for loving me even when it is hard or impossible to do so. You're the only person in my life who has never given up on me, and we both know there are times when you should have. I love you eternally & forever.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Tossed Salad of Feelings.

Since the birth of our son, someone said to me: "I was glad to see that you weren't unassisted this time, not because I disagree with it but because of (your husband's) illness and (your 4-year-old). I thought about it before the birth but didn't want to say anything then." This is my response to their email about it, that revealed to me some of my feelings on the birth that I am still trying to sift through: We had decided to hire a midwife that would be hands off so we could decide on what we wanted based on how DH was feeling the day the baby came. We had not planned to call them for the birth because DH was feeling pretty good (for him, in other words was not out on his feet) and adrenaline can do wonders in the time of need, but I had a prenatal appointment with them and they showed up with a student in tow (who was NOT supposed to be at my birth because I had not met her in advance). Based on my progress over the 40 plus hours prior, they stayed and prepared for a birth based on where I was in the contractions, etc. Had I not had a set appointment that day I probably would not have called them at all until very close to or after our new son was born so they could check him over. We felt they were here for far too long. It just got uncomfortable. Obviously, I have a lot of feelings about the birth I am still contemplating, due to the newness of it all - but I was glad they were there for verbal support during the pushing. This new baby was bigger by half again as our first, and this labour was that much more intense as well - it was very intense with all back labour. Not that DH was not great emotional support, but he was so busy catching and holding me as I pushed that the extra encouragement just when I thought I could not do it anymore was very helpful. DH did an amazing job even with his illness, though he is paying for his expulsion of energy and adrenaline now with some symptoms being more pronounced than usual along with his extreme tiredness and pain (he has more short term memory loss, speech is more impaired, and balance is very off). He doesn't care though, he'd do it all over again. He did most of the work at the birth (other than my job), then he had to rest, and relaxed with the baby while the midwives “helped me” post-partum (by helped I mean, in part, told me that I was taking too long to deliver a placenta, which was exasperating and stressfull and annoying). Still, as great as they were emotionally, and as good as the overall experience was, in retrospect unassisted is *OUR* best option. There are "interventions" and "management" that midwives cannot help but do that just bother *us* too much. Birth is not a managed event like a concert, it is free flowing… and hubby found that he often had someone “in his bloody way”. A midwife can be as hands off and sitting in the corner of the room being silent even, and it STILL changes the dynamic of the birth for the couple. I had my neighbour here to be with our daughter regardless of any midwife in attendance, and that was the best decision I ever made, especially my choice of person. She was everything I anticipated and could have asked for, and more :) She is a great friend and this experience has only confirmed and strengthened the friendship. She is the only person I trust my kids with, even over some of my own family members. No matter how much midwives believe in the naturalness of birth, they cannot help it... they are trained to watch for any variations from “normal” and “treat it”. Sometimes it feels like they spend their time looking for a problem to fix, rather than waiting to see if one appears and dealing with it then. This, for us, isn’t dealing with things perceptively and intuitively, and runs against our beliefs. It also caused us some unneeded aggravated feelings with this birth and there was a definite “anxiety” vibe they radiated even though things were fine. I can say with some assurance that this is our last planned child, and that I will likely not be birthing anymore - 8+ months of tiring and sicky pregnancy feelings, along with caring for DH and two kids would be hard to do for me, so we are feeling quite finished. But, if we were ever blessed with another child unexpectedly, we will likely be going unassisted in the birth for sure.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Photos of the Day

Yeah. More. Doesn't it bug you when people have new babies?
Auntie and Uncle come for a visit and bring presents, too! Big Sister finds out she will have to wait to babysit until she is 12. Dozey Toesies Boy meets Bird. Boy loses bird. Bird goes back in cage for poopin' on Mommy. Hey Dad, Cool Camera! Hi Mommy, can I make faces with you? Mama kisses, pucker up!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Picture Parade

By popular demand! Ok, well, not really... but here are pictures from the first 3 days of the life of our family's new addition:
50 mins old, posing with his big sister 4 hours new and slinging out with Daddy Uncle J visits at 5 hours of age, his first family visitor Thinker Jr. and only 12 hours post-womb Bright eyed & Bushy Tailed at 21 hrs new Meeting Nana 23 hours and Sis & Bro ham it up again New PolarBear Outfit @ 46 hours old, I wonder who picked that out? Note that it was bought on his first short trip (to Wal-Mart the evening before at a day old) Snoozing after 54 hrs on the outside Sweats and Tees Already and only 3 days & 8 hours old Naps are good Mommy catches a biiiiiiiiiiiiig streeeeeeeeeeeeeetch And a sleepy tango to say goodnight...
Hope you like. All pop large in new windows, or they should if your pop-up blocker doesn't try to stuff them. Its amazing how much personality he is already showing, some comes through in these pictures.

Kissy Face

Its just too cute an expression not to post.

Friday, February 04, 2005

A Home Waterbirth In Pictures

Here is a short picture summary of the birth of our new son on February 2nd, 2005. No freaking out allowed, if you do you'll be sent to the principal's office. All pictures will pop large versions in new windows. Before I go any further, I want to be sure to thank our neighbour, Sonya, who was amazing through the whole process - she took care of our daughter while her Mommy and Daddy were very busy, and it would not have been the same (if not impossible) without her. Mom went into early labour on Monday evening, dilating to 5 cm almost right away and then stayed there with baby slightly asynclitic and resting around the pubic symphysis. Active labour picked up on Wednesday afternoon. The water broke at 3:45 pm Eastern, and that's about where we begin...
Mom makes her best pushy face... baby is moving down but much slower than her first baby who was born 3 weeks sooner, so she is working hard. It is 4:26 pm.
A brief moment of rest as the last contraction ends, but more are coming - one almost on top of the other. Mom says, "I am never doing this again!" She is certain she makes sure that everyone present knows it, as well as the neighbours and anyone who may have been passing by in a vehicle on the highway 2 kilometres away. Big sister watches, wishing she could jump in the pool while the midwife twiddles her thumbs patiently.
Our daughter decides she wants to be a 4-year-old Lamaze Coach. "Its OK, Mommy, you can do it," she says as she massages her Mommy's arm since Daddy is a bit busy providing perineal support and trying to make sure baby's head is still moving down. It is 4:31 pm.
The baby is out! And IT'S A BOY! It is now 4:38 pm. Big sister takes her first look at a new baby brother while the midwife reaches in to check his APGAR score (1 minute was 8, 5 minutes was 9, for those who may have been curious).
At 4:44 pm, Mom looks down and she and Daddy officially name their son. They've had names picked out for a long, long time and waited for this moment to find out which one they would use - the boy one or the girl one. No one wants to look in the pool any more.
Big sister gets in close and observes how he has such a cute, tiny nose. Little brother is only 16 minutes old right now, but everyone is in love with him. Mom has already forgotten how much work she just did, at least for the moment.
We wait for the cord to stop pulsing, making sure baby gets everything he needs from Mom before sending him into the world to survive on his own. After 20 minutes, at around 4:59 pm, it stops pulsing, so with big sister checking his work closely, Daddy clamps it with a plastic cord clamp and a haemostat...
...then big sister has her biggest moment: she cuts the cord to separate baby from Mommy. This is no token cut like often done in hospitals, this is the real thing, the first cut, and she does a great job! She has been waiting to do this for the last 2 days. It is now 5:00 pm.
Then, she finally gets to admire her work at 5:34 pm - baby is 56 minutes old and she can finally hold him now that he is all checked over and not attached to Mom any more. Ever had a 4-year-old beg for a toy in the store? Well, imagine that only with wanting to hold a baby.
At about 1 hour 45 minutes old, baby boy rests on Mommy's chest. He was supposed to nurse to stimulate oxytocin and make the placenta come faster. He opts for a nap instead, so Mommy has to do it on her own - and she does, about 15 minutes later at 6:38pm.
So, we find out he weighs 4000 grams or 8 lbs 13 oz, and he is 51 cm or 20 inches long. Done with the day's work, everyone tries to rest a little. Mommy gets hungry at 10:45 pm, though and only 6 hours after delivering a baby, she drives off to get everyone McDonald's with the neighbour and daughter in tow. Daddy and new baby pass out on couch, because only Mommy is a real superhero.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Quote of the Day

This quote is from our 4-year-old, who made this statement out of the blue while getting her bathing suit on: 
"If I had shampoo on my bum, I would fart bubbles." 
I have no idea where she got it, she just pulled it out of nowhere. 
My kid is weird.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

35 Weeks Tomorrow

I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow, so I am officially longer pregnant now than I was with my daughter. Woohooo...(I think) LOL 
I've been moving slower and slower these days, to the point that hubby is actually walking faster then me now, and I am begging him to walk slower. That is saying something cause it is usually him begging me to slow down now that he walks with a cain and has a lot of back and leg spasms. 
My back needs a sign that says slow moving wide load :) I'm hoping that after the baby comes my level of energy will start to rise back up. 
I have CONSTANT heart burn, even from mild stuff, I'm peeing without relief every 5 minutes. My lower pelvis pain is constant and I am feeling like this baby won't be inside for much longer. I have small bouts of contractions (that are not progressive) daily almost now it seems - and I am not going too far these days cause all my shoes won't go on my feet LOL (too swollen & fat from weight gain) not that I can see them to put them on anyway. 
We finally decided on another girls name should this baby be a girl... But we are not sharing it with anyone until afterwards. I'm not sure what it is, but I dreamt about the baby talking to me and it was a girl (or a very feminine spirit anyway). 
My breasts are much more tender again and some shooting hot pangs through the ducts, and I have milk already so it is not long now I suppose. 
Not much else going on here, my hands are in so much pain from pregnancy induced tendonitis and my right hand's carpal tunnel that it takes me forever to type.the physical pain in my right hand is so bad it keeps me awake at night and nearly in tears. The tendonitis is aggravating the carpal tunnel to the point now that I cannot feel most of my hand at all from the tingly numbness pain and I cannot hold a fork, cut a sandwich or brush my teeth with it. I have broken more then my share of glasses the last few months. 
I love being pregnant because I am creating life, but it seems that the pregnancy symptoms I get to "enjoy" are much worse than most people's (or am I just thinking that?)... from early fatigue and morning sickness to this... 
We are taking out our daughter's old baby stuff soon to get ready for this little one, and setting up the pool to be ready for the birth. We are doing a belly mask as well this week. The fun parts of pregnancy! :)

Sunday, January 02, 2005

The Poop Parade

Have you ever been to a poop parade? No?!? Oh my, you don't know what your missing.  
My daughter is the grand marshall of the poop parade.  
At 4 years old she cannot master the "wiping off the poo" thing.  
Some days it is fine, she'll jot off to the bathroom and call me when she's done to wipe the poo. But some days, she is more full of it than usual and she decides to have a poop parade, where she won't go to the bathroom and decide to try and keep the poo in (!!!) - only to find out it comes out anyway. On the floor. Or on her hand. Or she'll have small rabbit turd poops 12 times in 3 hours.  
I'm going to buy stock with cottonelle, I swear!  
You cannot decide not to attend the poop parade, your presence is required.  
I find myself this evening telling my daughter. "You poo in the toilet, you don't catch the poo and drop it in the toilet! Do you understand!?"  
In the moment, I find this irritating as I have to wipe her clean and get her to wash herself AGAIN. But, I can tell my husband finds this a funny conversation as I hear him giggling from the living room.  
I guess when you're 4 and your life experience is pretty limited you REALLY DON'T KNOW that you CANNOT poo in your hand and catch it ( you say that fast enough it sounds like catsh*t), and then dump it in the toilet. Well, you can. It just isn't really DONE unless you are into some kinky poo. 
Whoever said when you become a parent your life revolves around poo, was not kidding!!!  
Just as I am hoping to have a child who can begin to wipe her own poo, I am about to give birth to another who will need me to change the poopy diaper, and potty train.  
I'll be wiping the poo for another 4 years... or more.