Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Poop Day

Everyone thinks that when you become parents you start making friends with other people with kids because you can't go out with your single friends like you used to. They say it is because you no longer have time for the dinner parties and friday night movies and discussing it at the coffeeshop until 4 am afterwards. But that is not the truth.
Parents seek out other parents as friends once they BECOME parents, because thereafter your life revolves around poop.
They gotta poop. so, you gotta talk about it. "Did he just poop", "it smells like it?" "No?" "OMG baby you SMELLLLL!!!!!!!!!" (waving hand in the general direction of the child's bottom.) "It was just gas?" "He takes AFTER YOU!!!" "Did he finally poop?" "Yes?" "How's the poop?" "A lot of poop?" "The color of the poop?" "The baby pooped yesterday!" "Honey, come and look at this poop the baby did!" "It's poop day today!"...
Your friend has a kid close but younger in age to your kid and you start comparing the poop or giving poop advice. "Wait until he starts eating SOLID FOOD!" "OMG Stinky poop?!?!", "You'll be thankful for the good ole breastfeeding days, let me tell ya!!" "Oh my son's poop was bigger then that!!!" "One time, my daughter pooped in a resturant and it slid out the diaper onto the highchair and all over the floor!!!" "We never went out on poop day again!!!" (True story, BTW. My poor BIL never went back to that resturant! Don't buy Walmart brand disposable diapers, and yes I use them on occasion to go out, beats carrying peepee cloth dipes around in my bag in the hot car)
Now, I know some comediam already said this and probably much funnier than I am saying it ( me thinks it was Paul Reiser perhaps? I dunno), but it is true, and you cannot stop, and you don't stop either. It has been 4 years and I talk about poop every day! more then once a day!!!
You know your a parent when.... someone asks what you did today and you answer, "Oh the baby had the best poop today!!!I had to even give him a bath!He was covered in it"
My son is a baby who gives me such stories to tell. My daughter now 4 yo, also has given me such stories to bore my fellow poop talking parent friends ( see "poop parade" blog entry in archives)
So, for whatever reason, my children only pop every couple of days.Seems tobe their schedule, not a problem, just them.
When my daughter was a baby I could tell when her poop day was about to arrive. She'd get cranky and fart all day being gassy, and then WHAM, on day 5 like clock work, the titanic of diaper loads. She'd have the greatest sleep after her poop day too!
So, naturally when my son was born and he started to exhibit the same type of pooping pattern I started paying attention, figuring I could figure him out as easily if not easier, after all I ahve 4 years of poop experience under my belt, a few more years and I could be a doctor or baby poop.
NOPE, I thought today was going to be poop day, but he suprised me 20 hours early and pooped last night just before midnight. He was the usuall gassy bum, and crabby self, he wanted to be comforted, so between nursings he sucked on a soother ocassionaly dipped in some corn syprup ( don't even email me OK, have children as gassy and smelly as mine with terrible tummy aches and then come back and tell me that corn sypup is bad), it helps sooth his stomach and you can't feed them gripe water all day long or let him nurse all day long , I'd be as big as Dolly Parton with engorgement for supply and demand!)
Though I cannot figure out his exact days yet ( or perhaps he won;t ahve a certian number of days as my daughter did, I do know his pattern when he is about to poop. A cranky day or two, filled with pockets of green gassy air whafting from his diaper from the farts, vigerous sucking on the breast most of the day, corn sypuped soother and gripe water in between.
If is he farting at a rate of about 1 every 5 minutes, We are getting close to the zero hour. If I give him gripe water wit 1 every 5 minutes on poop day and then he has two boobs, he'll likely poop within a half hour sititng in my arms while being burped.
He caught me off guard yesterday and when I went to change his wet diaper I got a poo suprise!
I had to even give him a bath!He was covered in it!!
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Not the same poop day, but all smiles after a poo a week ago or so.

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