Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Gut Instinct or Obsessing?

 I feel very strongly that a medical professional thinks I'm a hypochondriac because I am aware of my own body, and I consider symptoms to usually be a sign of something going on that needs to be looked at and when they show up, I'll go to this peron and say.. this is what's happening...i'm concerned it looks like...let's check it out. Now to clarify, I have not done this excessively, and I am NOT a person to run to a medical professional for every single little thing. What has precipitated this additude from this peron is that I made requests in the past year for specific tests to rule out specific stuff. The one test I did get done came from the ER doctor ordering it due to the issue I presented with, but my family practitioner never followe up. I asked my family practitioner for a referral to a neurologist and for MONTHS the referral never came... & was apparently "lost" & only done once I pushed for it...MANY MONTHS later, asking why it was taking so long.There is a family history of an issue that concerned me, and with vague information from my mother, I was trying to inquire as to the issue. given the ongoing symptoms I've had and what this looked like when you add up all the separate things I've been diagnosed with over the last 4 years. Now it is almost a full year later since the first request and things show to be normal based on head only cat scan and EEG I had done, though I'm still have the dizzy spells, walking balance issues, sore neck, headaches, numb patches on my back, and tinglness on my back, along with chronic and worsening lower back and hip pain. etc. This seems to be as far as it is bein taken with this professional....and for some time now I've had an issue getting them to even document my hip and lower back pain in writing. at the last 3 appointments ( in the span of maybe 6 months) I've But saying. I have this tingly patch on my back, my hip hurts a lot, and it never gets written down, and then was told that that kind of thing can't be xrayed t check until it has been an official complaint for over 6 months, though I've been mentioning it for years. Anyway...this professional has also recently held  my annual PAP test results from me on purpose for 5 months until it was time to do a retest to make sure things are fine & because the test came back with abnormalities. I feel manipulated & like I can't trust this professional & also feel like in future they won't take my concerns serious given that they have a bias in that direction against me. This professional admitted to me today that the results were held back from me on purpose because they "knew you would spend the whole 6 months fretting".

I'm feeling sick about it, and I can't let it go, but I'm not sure I should be letting it gut tells me otherwise. Others say I'm obsessing. At this point I'm really not feeling comfortabel gong back to them about the ongoing pain, and seemingly nerve issues in my neck and back/spine. Dh and I have decided to go around this person and go to a clinic and see a differetn doctor and explain the situation and see if perhaps they'll order the tests, or will refer me to a specialist to look deeper into the issues, I'm having.<SIGH>

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