Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Is there a last straw?

do I sigh....keep it in and keep plugging away? Should I climb to the top of a mountain and scream
 until I can no longer hear, and no longer have a voice? or just sit here on the floor in the kitchen crying as I wipe up the apple raspberry sauce my 4 year old just spilled all ALLLLL over the floor. No I can't sit here crying... I have too much stuff todo, and it never ends. I'm painfully reminded that becaue I was catching up on dishes and cutting wood for the terribly cold day it is today, that I have not been doing the laundry and I have a dry load to fold. two loads to dry and way too many loads yet to wash...

I look at the clock wonering when bedtime is? the melatonin should hvae kick in by now, but he's now tettering upside down on the rocking chair on his head balancing. I wonder if I have the energy and paitence to parent at this very moment, or should I just crawl under the covers in a fetl postion and seek mothering myself.

Where does the drive come from... the will to keep going. the patience needed to politely ask what the 1 millionth time you hear "mommyyy" in that shrill, high squeal pitch, knowing, JUST knowing that you're about to hear about the injustice done to one by the other.

and as I blog this to prevent myself from slipping into that insanity i HOPE all mothers some days feel. I'm interrupted by the DH telling me that he wants to TV to watcha  movie with the girl.. and so.... I have to stop what I'm writing...
  will I get back to this later.. not likely.. and it shall remain unfinished. like everything else on my to do list.

1 comment:

Too Many Hats said...

Yes, every mom has lived what you are feeling now - more than once. Hugs to you. Dirty clothes never killed anyone, so take a little break.