Sunday, February 15, 2009

Happy " Just another day" My Valentine's Day thoughts

so.. I was just sitting here, and watching the tweets rolls by on Twitter in the early Am hours post V day. I noticed a lot of  women talking about it being nice and what they got as gifts. still a  lot more tweeting about getting home from evening out, and needing to get out of the clothes they are in to get comfortable, and still others tweeting about how their V-day sucked over all.

It was then that the word Comfortable hit me, and I smiled, and I thought... mmmmm comfortable... yes I am.. and I love it. I would not want to be any where else.

I admit that I once fell victim to this made up holiday that does nothing more than make everyone feel unloved and lonely at some point in their lives, and in my opinion, holidays are supposed to make people feel loved and special. I spent a lot of my teen years without a date to the Valentine dance, and therefore didn't go, and felt ugly and fat and unloved, I spent my early 20's trying to make up for that my dating anyone who would even look my way, and even married one of them! ( uggg)... I used to dress up, and spend hours on my hair and make up to go out.

I get how it all works... but there is so much beyond that surface.

I worked in bars as a Karaoke Hostess in my 20's and it was just a given that as the hostess, showing off your boobs, batting eyelashes, flirting, getting and keeping the attentions of male Patrons and looking good doing it, would keep me  hired by the bar to come back and bring in the customers for them to sell drinks to. I've been here, done that.

I get the whole sell the package to date someone in order to find a mate, possibly one you'll marry. But that is not who you really are. is it? It is not who I am.. thought I admit, to meet my husband for the first time, I spent a considerable amount of time preparing to meet him ( and terrified to death he'd hate how I looked, being too short and too chubby)

I hated that, and not being seen for who I really was on the inside...but I did it anyway, because that is what society says we as women need to do...sell ourselves sexually in order to be liked.

Perhaps 10 year has matured me, and I've gained wisdom, or at least I'd like to think it has, and I have not just become complacent. Thought I can guarantee you some of those girls crying themselves to sleep alone tonight, or having meaningless drunk " I don't want to be alone on Valentine's day" sex with some guy who'll leave tomorrow morning and will never see them again would look at me and say I'm crazy, or laugh and say I've fallen victim to the  "being married-going to pot" issue they will never find themselves in, but I don't care... I'm comfortable and I think they could learn a thing of two from it.

They can laugh at all they want....I hope they find someone to be comfortable with soon, who loves them for who they really are, because being comfortable is OHHHH SOOO wonderful!

My husband didn't buy me chocolates, or roses, or diamonds, he didn't make me breakfast in bed. He didn't take me out to a  romantic dinner that costs a day's salary, or spend twice as much on a bottle of wine to get me tipsy in hopes I'd "put out " later.

I didn't spend hours worrying about what I'd wear, or how I looked, pouring myself into some tight pair of leather pants, stiletto high heel boots, and cinching myself up into a corset to show off my boobs, in order to get sexual attention from him. ( I mention this because someone tweeted that as I was reading...that's what they were taking off after a night at a bar, and coming home alone, upset that the efforts were in vain)

If it wasn't so sad that these people are creating their own misery on this made up holiday I'd laugh at the fact that as a "frumpy married housewife and stay at home mother" I got lucky more times today then they have in probably a month. But I don't take pleasure in other people's pain ( even if it is misery and pain they have caused themselves merely by their own perceptions and thoughts)

So just what IS comfortable? What made a perfect Valentines day for me?

First I didn't have an expectation, it was just another day.

I woke up this morning to a soft kiss on the back of my neck and a loving snuggle under the blankets. My children came and said good morning, and then want off to pay with & feed the dog, play Wii, eat breakfast, and left hubby and I alone to enjoy some alone time...sure it wasn't  "sexy and steamy" like in the movies...sure we had to stop about 6 times and go check on them to make sure they were not torturing the dog and to get them to stop fighting over the Wiimotes...but it was good, and real, and relaxing and wonderful, and the kids didn't even haved a clue.

Then I got up, leaving hubby to rest and nap some, and went and got some wood for the house, and let the kids play in the workshop riding their bikes. We came in and was greated by Hubby who was up feeling somewhat rested from his extra sleep. Throughout the afternoon there was small moments of affection, kisses and winks, and hugs, between making the kids get their snacks off the floor, getting the fire going, and make the kids stop fighting over the heart shaped  sugar cookies we baked the night before.

Then we decided to go into the city to find some scrap pallets for free heat and to take in a movie with some free movie passes we have. This didn't mean all of a sudden I went running off to plan my attire etc....I pulled my hair back in a pony tail, changed my shirt to one with long sleeves. put on clear lip gloss, my winter boots and coat, got the kids and hubby in the van and off we went.

Our valentine's day meal was McD's burgers in the van of the Wal-Mart parking lot, where we went to allow our 4 year old son to buy some things with his birthday money from his Nana.

While we were there we picked up milk, because we needed it.

Then we went to a movie...hubby and I sat together, with kids on either side of us ( to keep them from fighting) we enjoyed the movie, we text messaged each other while watching the movie LOL ( we're geeks LOL) the kids loved the movie, and we enjoyed watching them watch it and enjoy it.

Then when left the movie, we got in the van and went and grabbed some  busted up pallets/skids from behind a store in the city that offers them free for the taking, and drove home. The kids slept in the back seat after about the first 15 minutes of the over 1 hour drive. During that drive home, Hubby and I chatted and laughed, joked and smiled. It was comfortable, and it was good.

We came home and got the kids to bed, and as I write this, DH is now sitting behind me at the stove making fire to warm us up again after being gone for over 7 hours. Then we are going to go to bed, and we'll snuggle and go to sleep, or maybe not... and then we'll go to sleep.

Comfortable is a good place to be :)

being happy, or being miserable is all in how you chose to see things.

How do you see it?

I hope you saw it as a good day, no matter what status you are ( single /married or otherwise)

Happy "just anoher day"

1 comment:

Too Many Hats said...

I have never bought into the whole contrived Valentine's Day thing thankfully. Yesterday was another day. Dh and I had our weekly Satrbuck's date :) We rented City of Ember, made brownies & had a nice family night too.

Comfortable is fabulous!